Wild Women Talk About Love

Wild Women Talk About Love

by Varla Ventura

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The latest addition to the best-selling Wild Women series, Wild Women Talk About Love is like having a heart-to-heart with 200 of your closest friends. Loquacious ladies of every stripe unleash their wicked wit in this humorous and enlightening compilation and tell it like it is. Chapters include "Love Is Fabulous," "Love Is a Pain," "Love Lost," "Are Men Really


The latest addition to the best-selling Wild Women series, Wild Women Talk About Love is like having a heart-to-heart with 200 of your closest friends. Loquacious ladies of every stripe unleash their wicked wit in this humorous and enlightening compilation and tell it like it is. Chapters include "Love Is Fabulous," "Love Is a Pain," "Love Lost," "Are Men Really Necessary" and cover sex, personal ads, blind dates, break ups, weddings, and the prerequisites for the perfect kiss. Sidebars include "Size Matters," and "Weepiest Romantic Movies Ever." Wait, there's more-true tales about wild women of yore that entertain as much as they enlighten. From Lily Tomlin to Dorothy Allison, Elizabeth Taylor to Annie Dillard, there's no shortage of sass, sarcasm, or sizzle. Find out, once and for all, what women talk about when they talk about love.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
And just for fun comes this witty and humorous look at love from the hearts of "wild women" through the ages. Compiled by poet Ventura (Sheroes), the text overflows with quotations on sex, blind dates, weddings, breakups, and ruminations on love in old age. Those quoted include Mae West, Barbara Bush, L'il Kim, and Edna St. Vincent Millay. Sidebars address topics such as "Size Matters" and "When It's Time To Get Lost." Readers will find themselves entranced and reading the excerpts aloud to friends. Highly recommended.

—Deborah Bigelow

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Wild Women TALK ABOUT Love


Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Copyright © 2007 Conari Press
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-60925-203-8


Love Is Fabulous

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

—Amy Bloom, story-writing shrink

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.

—Iris Murdoch, British author

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.

—Anaïs Nin, passionate writer

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

—Rose Franken, manuscript maker

I'm not good at being alone. Especially at the end of the day when my finances are a mess, my car is falling apart, [and] I can't find my shoes. That's when I need a big strong guy to hold me close so I can look deep into his eyes and blame him.

—Simone Alexander, stand-up girl

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

—Iris Murdoch, British author

I have no patience with women who measure and weigh their love like a country doctor dispensing capsules. If a man is worth loving at all, he is worth loving generously, even recklessly.

—Marie Dressler, character actress of the thirties

You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening.

—Sara Paddison, self-help guru

Our true identity is to love without fear and insecurity. Our higher potential finds us when we set our course in that direction. The power of love and compassion transforms insecurity.

—Doc Childre, physician of motivation

Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need.

—Mary Baker Eddy, spiritual leader

The greatest science in the world, in heaven and on earth, is love.

—Mother Teresa, legendary selfless philanthropist

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

—Barbara Johnson, feminist and professor

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

—Ursula K. LeGuin, imaginative author and poet

I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love.... There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.

—Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and love expert

If I am unaware of love, I live drably. If I become intoxicated with love, I live in dreamland. If I recognize love and shake his hand, then comfort, dreams, and sometimes intoxication become mine to drench in and give away as well.

—Nellie Curtiss, passionate author

Where there is great love there are always miracles.

—Willa Cather, Pulitzer Prize-winning author

Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

—Mae West, legend of the silver screen

Love is like pi—natural, irrational, and VERY important.

—Lisa Hoffman, intellectual and humorous writer


Known in Africa as the Mother of the River, Oshun is the Yoruba goddess of love, sensuality, and beauty. Though she is said to have a fierce temper when crossed, she most often uses her powers for the benefit of mankind. During the creation of the world, the blacksmith Ogun became tired of working and abandoned his tasks, retreating into the forest. Oshun entered the woods to draw him out, dancing and beguiling him with her splendor. Ogun was so inspired by her loveliness that he took up his tools with more skill and power than he had ever shown before.

Oshun is also a deity of courage and determination. In ancient times, humankind rebelled against Olodumare, the Lord of Heaven, and refused to serve him. Enraged, Olodumare brought a drought upon the earth, and the people were afflicted with famine. Birds were sent to beg for the Lord's forgiveness, but none of them was able to fly high enough to reach his house in the sun. Oshun, in the form of a peacock, was the only one to complete the journey; by the time she arrived, her beautiful feathers had been burned black as a vulture's. Moved by her bravery, Olodumare restored her and ended the drought, naming her an honored Messenger of his house. As the embodiment of love, Oshun combines sexual allure and beauty with a strength that can overcome all obstacles.

Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice.

—Nora Roberts, first author inducted into the Romance Writers of America Hall of Fame

Love is the best medicine, and there is more than enough to go around once you open your heart.

—Julie Marie, thoughtful wild woman

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

—Bessie Stanley, wise and modest poet

To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.

—Anna Louise Strong, progressive journalist

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

—Emily Brontë, famed romantic novelist

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible—it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.

—Barbara De Angelis, motivational author and speaker

Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford—but you'll take him anyway.

—Judith Viorst, author of children's books

Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.

—Mignon McLaughlin, journalist and author

Love never reasons but profusely gives; gives, like a thoughtless prodigal, its all, and trembles lest it has done too little.

—Hannah Moore, romantic author

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.

—Zora Neale Hurston, barrier-breaking novelist

Love is a game that two can play and both win.

—Eva Gabor, Hungarian-born diva

There's nothing more freeing than the shackles of love.

—Emma Racine deFleur, free-spirited writer

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.

—Margaret Atwood, famed feminist author

Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.

—Zelda Fitzgerald, author and quintessential twenties flapper

Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

—Crystal Middlemas, passionate wild woman

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

—Elizabeth Bowen, Anglo-Irish author

Love is smiling on the inside and out.

—Jennifer Williams, amorous optimist

The truth [is] that there is only one terminal dignity—love. And the story of a love is not important—what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

—Helen Hayes, nicknamed "First Lady of the American Theater"

Love is a moment that lasts forever....

—Julie Wittey, romantic writing woman

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

—Helen Keller, legendary deaf-blind activist

Love reminds you that nothing else matters.

—Amy Bushell, prioritizing wild woman

The dedicated life is the life worth living. You must give with your whole heart.

—Annie Dillard, philosophical American author

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

—Flavia Weedn, crafter of inspirational art and writing

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.

—Elynor Glyn, inspired author

Love is not a matter of counting the years ... but of making the years count.

—Michelle St. Amand, writer and loving wild woman

I have learned not to worry about love; But to honor its coming with all my heart.

—Alice Walker, award-winning African American author

I love you—those three words have my life in them.

—Alexandra Romanov, the last czarina, to husband Nicholas II

We can only learn to love by loving.

—Iris Murdoch, British author

Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together.

—Karen Casey, advice-giving author

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.

—Amy Tan, Chinese American novelist

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

—Ann Landers, advice column queen bee

Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.

—Barbara De Angelis, motivational author and speaker

Who so loves, believes the impossible.

—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, British Victorian poet

Love is more than a feeling; it's a state of mind.

—Lisa Grude, perceptive wild woman

That Love is all there is, Is all we know of Love.

—Emily Dickinson, legendary and mysterious American poet

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.

—Jeanne Moreau, French leading lady

Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock.

—Mary Parrish, sage and author

I truly feel that there are as many ways of loving as there are people in the world and as there are days in the life of those people.

—Mary S. Calderone, pioneering physician of sexuality

But one of the attributes of love, like art, is to bring harmony and order out of chaos, to introduce meaning and affect where before there was none, to give rhythmic variations, highs and lows to a landscape that was previously flat.

—Molly Haskell, author and theatre critic

Who has not found the heaven below Will fail of it above. God's residence is next to mine, His furniture is love.

—Emily Dickinson, legendary and mysterious American poet

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

—Pearl Bailey, respected African American actress

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.

—Pearl S. Buck, Nobel Prize-winning author

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

—Erica Jong, American author of women's lit

A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes.

—Clare Boothe Luce, author and bold activist

If there is any country on earth where the course of true love may be expected to run smooth, it is America.

—Harriet Martineau, British writer of the 1800s

Art is not necessary at all. All that is necessary to make this world a better place to live in is to love—to love as Christ loved, as Buddha loved.

—Isadora Duncan, queen of modern dance

I don't want to live—I want to love first, and live incidentally.

—Zelda Fitzgerald, author and quintessential twenties flapper

Love is a great beautifier.

—Louisa May Alcott, great nineteenth-century women's novelist

Love's greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred.

—Barbara De Angelis, motivational author and speaker

Not all of us have to possess earthshaking talent. Just common sense and love will do.

—Myrtle Auvil, wild artist and author

Love alone could waken love.

—Pearl S. Buck, Nobel Prize-winning author

Melissa Gregory

When ice dancer Melissa Gregory found herself searching for a skating partner in early 2000, she didn't realize that she was about to encounter her life partner as well. Gregory had been building a successful track record in the sport, winning first place in the junior level at the U.S. Nationals. But when her partner decided to return to school, she turned to the Internet to help find his replacement. That was where fate, and Denis Petukhov, stepped in. After corresponding by e-mail, the two decided to meet in person and explore the possibility of a working partnership.

Petukhov flew to the United States for the tryout, and he and Gregory spent a morning skating together. Upon getting off the ice, Petukhov canceled his other scheduled tryouts; he never used his return ticket to Russia and has kept it to this day. The pair soon realized that their connection went well beyond the sport, and they were married in 2001. Since then, they have risen through the ice dancing ranks, earning several international medals. Petukhov became a U.S. citizen in February 2005, allowing them to try for a spot on the 2006 Olympic team. Although the couple has faced hurdles ranging from dangerous falls to a hostile reception in Petukhov's native Russia, the future looks bright for Gregory and her partner both on and off the ice.

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.

—Lynda Barry, progressive cartoonist

Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.

—Anita Brookner, English art historian and writer

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

—Joyce Brothers, columnist and family psychologist

To love without role, without power plays, is revolution.

—Rita Mae Brown, activist author

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach ...

—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, famed Victorian poet

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

—Amy Carmichael, inspirational British missionary

The cure for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows, and the crimes of humanity, all lie in that one word "Love." It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life.

—Lydia M. Child, American abolitionist and writer

Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.

—Mary Cholmondeley, independent British author

Love makes the wildest spirit tame, and the tamest spirit wild.

—Alexis Delp, author and true wild woman

I know that I can give love for a minute, for half an hour, for a day, for a month, but I can give, and I'm very happy to do that and I want to do that.

—Diana, Princess of Wales

I argue thee that love is life. And life hath immortality.

—Emily Dickinson, legendary and mysterious American poet

We've grown to be one soul—two parts; our lives so intertwined that when some passion stirs your heart, I feel the quake in mine.

—Gloria Gaither, inspired gospel musician

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give—which is everything.

—Katharine Hepburn, bold and beautiful screen legend

Love is a force that connects us to every strand of the universe, an unconditional state that characterizes human nature, a form of knowledgement that is always there for us if only we can open ourselves to it.

—Emily H. Sell, editor and author

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

—Helen Rowland, witty journalist

Excerpted from Wild Women TALK ABOUT Love by VARLA VENTURA. Copyright © 2007 Conari Press. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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