Will I Ever Fit In?: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Adult Dyssemia

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Do you ever feel just a little off socially Like you are the only one in the room not getting the jokes -- or maybe the only one to laugh when you tell one? Although you can't quite put your finger on it, something isn't quite right when people are always moving away from you instead of moving closer to hear what you have to say. Whether or not your feelings of unease have to do with the situation you're in now at work or whether "not fitting in" has been your mantra your whole life, Will I Ever Fit In? provides ...
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Overview

Do you ever feel just a little off socially Like you are the only one in the room not getting the jokes -- or maybe the only one to laugh when you tell one? Although you can't quite put your finger on it, something isn't quite right when people are always moving away from you instead of moving closer to hear what you have to say. Whether or not your feelings of unease have to do with the situation you're in now at work or whether "not fitting in" has been your mantra your whole life, Will I Ever Fit In? provides a groundbreaking and comprehensive program to identify and address the pervasive yet poorly recognized syndrome called dyssemia that you may suffer from.

People who have some form of dyssemia -- a group reported to include as many as 25 million Americans -- cannot readily understand nonverbal messages, much as dyslexics do not readily process written language. Yet nonverbal communication plays an essential role in our communication with others, and people who don't pick up the signals others send often face painful social rejection. Stephen Nowicki, Jr. and Marshall Duke, experts in the field of nonverbal communication and seasoned clinical psychologists, offer a practical plan to improve your relationships and social skills -- skills you may not have known you even needed.

Will I Ever Fit In? includes the first diagnostic self-test for adult dyssemia, and it helps you understand nonverbal communication -- shows you how to read it -- through a combination of imitation and mentoring. Gentle and easy, the step-by-step approach guides you through the study of nonverbal behavior by observing others walking, eating, and talking; by making a dictionary of gestures and postures portraying different emotions from magazine photos; and by finding out what emotions you convey by taking snapshots of yourself and working with a friend -- or coach -- whom you can trust. What's more, it also offers guidelines for choosing professional help if you should need it. This valuable book offers you the tools you need to build successful relationships, to capitalize on your interpersonal strengths, and to pave the way to your future happiness.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Dyssemia isn't a recognized condition but a term coined by Nowicki and Duke, both psychology professors at Emory University, to describe the inability of certain people to understand and follow the unwritten rules of nonverbal communication. These are the folks who stand too close, talk too loudly, reek of perfume or body odor, or display facial expressions that are at variance with their words. Clearly, such folks could benefit from a program to help them overcome these difficulties, and the initial chapters of this book might help readers decide if they have this problem. That is, if they pick the book up in the first place the title, with its fabricated word, doesn't offer a clue about the subject. However, the remedial program isn't really a self-help program at all. Readers are instead instructed to find a "mentor" not a close relative or fellow employee to coach them. The authors don't explain why anyone would consent to spend large amounts of time with a relative stranger whose manner is off-putting. Not recommended; a better choice is Gordon Wainwright's Body Language (McGraw-Hill, 2000), which reviews the literature and presents awareness exercises. Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, WA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743202596
  • Publisher: Free Press
  • Publication date: 3/1/1902
  • Pages: 256
  • Product dimensions: 6.20 (w) x 9.60 (h) x 0.92 (d)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 Are You Dyssemic? 25
Chapter 2 The Four Stages of Interpersonal Relationships 46
Chapter 3 Channels of Nonverbal Behavior: Rhythm, Time, and Space 63
Chapter 4 Channels of Nonverbal Behavior: Faces and Voices 94
Chapter 5 Channels of Nonverbal Behavior: Touch, Postures, Gestures, and Fashion 115
Chapter 6 Working with Your Coach 140
Chapter 7 The Remediation Tool Kit 175
Chapter 8 Developing Your Remediation Plan 195
Appendices 223
Bibliography 231
Index 235
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