Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

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Week after week, they sit in church . . . alone. They are the spiritually mismatched, those who are committed to a spouse who does not share their faith. Feeling abandoned by their spouse and forgotten by their church, they live out their faith in survival mode, guarding the spiritual flame yet never feeling free to share it. But God wants them to thrive—not just survive.      

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Overview

Week after week, they sit in church . . . alone. They are the spiritually mismatched, those who are committed to a spouse who does not share their faith. Feeling abandoned by their spouse and forgotten by their church, they live out their faith in survival mode, guarding the spiritual flame yet never feeling free to share it. But God wants them to thrive—not just survive.      
                            

Winning Him Without Words presents 10 Christ centered keys to thriving in a spiritual mismatch. Readers are encouraged to commit to Christian community, to release their spouse to God’s capable hands, to find peace in their relationships with Christ and with their spouse, to continue their pursuit of a growing faith and to love their spouse with fresh enthusiasm. God wants every marriage to exude peace and love, and Winning Him Without Words empowers readers to create that environment in their homes and thrive as God works.
 
Winning Him Without Words was the recipient of the Non-Fiction Book of 2011 Award from the San Diego Christian Writers Guild.  The San Diego Christian Writers Guild is one of the largest countywide Christian writers group in the United States.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Moving. Challenging. Full of devastating, healing truth. No two ways about it: Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan have crafted a masterpiece in Winning Him Without Words. For those who’ve felt alone in the battle to win their husbands to Christ, help is here! In fact, any marriage—even those, like mine, in which spouses share a faith in Jesus—would be strengthened and blessed by putting the 10 keys in this book into practice. Wives, the time is now. Take the truths these two women share and let them infuse your marriage with what we all desire: God’s amazing love and blessing.
Karen Ball
Editor and bestselling novelist of The Breaking Point and the Family Honor series

I am the daughter of a brave mother who was married to an unbeliever. My mother’s decision to follow Jesus even if my dad didn’t made all the difference to me as a little girl and propelled me into Christian leadership as an adult. I am forever grateful for women like Lynn and Dineen who live out a message of “God is enough.” Winning Him Without Words is a lifeline of hope and help for any woman who is struggling in a spiritually mismatched marriage.
Pam Farrel
Relationship specialist, international speaker, and author of more than 30 books, including the bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

For anyone who endures a spiritually mismatched marriage—hoping and praying that things might improve—here’s authentic help from two women who know this topic from the inside out. Never preachy or harsh, these authors reveal their own struggles and difficulties as wives caught up in spiritually mismatched marriages. Winning Him Without Words is a must-read for hurting wives as they prayerfully seek change in their husbands and meaningful transformation in their marriages.
Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage and Family Studies, Del Mar, California
Authors of Becoming Your Husband’s Best Friend and other books

C.S. Lewis once said that friendship is born at that moment one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” That’s what Winning Him Without Words is like. For the woman who is married to a man who doesn’t share her faith in Christ, this book is a faithful friend who will encourage her in her feelings of aloneness, anxiety, frustration (and all the other emotions that come with living in a spiritually mismatched marriage) and point her to the One who can and will make something good out of them. This book will give great hope to those who may wonder if thriving is out of reach.
Nancy Kennedy
Author of When He Doesn’t Believe

As a “marriage” author, whenever I have a reader or audience member ask me, “What should I do if my husband isn’t a believer?” I have felt inadequate to support him or her. Now I have a new approach—pray and hand the person this book. As I read through these pages, I was humbled by the wisdom and encouragement that these women share—much of which was a timely reminder for my own marriage. With honest struggle and authentic hope, Dineen and Lynn show women how to make God the very center of their unequal marriages.
Kathi Lipp
Author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project

It has been a wonderful gift and blessing to “meet” Dineen and Lynn through their journeys. As one who is also unequally yoked in a spiritually mismatched marriage (to a wonderful guy, for 29 years!), the relief in knowing I am not alone is huge. That, coupled with practical keys they share as they share of themselves, has invigorated our marriage and brought honor to God.
Kathy Pride
Author of What the Bible Is All About for Moms

From the Publisher

Moving. Challenging. Full of devastating, healing truth. No two ways about it: Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan have crafted a masterpiece in Winning Him Without Words. For those who’ve felt alone in the battle to win their husbands to Christ, help is here! In fact, any marriage—even those, like mine, in which spouses share a faith in Jesus—would be strengthened and blessed by putting the 10 keys in this book into practice. Wives, the time is now. Take the truths these two women share and let them infuse your marriage with what we all desire: God’s amazing love and blessing.
Karen Ball
Editor and bestselling novelist of The Breaking Point and the Family Honor series

I am the daughter of a brave mother who was married to an unbeliever. My mother’s decision to follow Jesus even if my dad didn’t made all the difference to me as a little girl and propelled me into Christian leadership as an adult. I am forever grateful for women like Lynn and Dineen who live out a message of “God is enough.” Winning Him Without Words is a lifeline of hope and help for any woman who is struggling in a spiritually mismatched marriage.
Pam Farrel
Relationship specialist, international speaker, and author of more than 30 books, including the bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

For anyone who endures a spiritually mismatched marriage—hoping and praying that things might improve—here’s authentic help from two women who know this topic from the inside out. Never preachy or harsh, these authors reveal their own struggles and difficulties as wives caught up in spiritually mismatched marriages. Winning Him Without Words is a must-read for hurting wives as they prayerfully seek change in their husbands and meaningful transformation in their marriages.
Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage and Family Studies, Del Mar, California
Authors of Becoming Your Husband’s Best Friend and other books

C.S. Lewis once said that friendship is born at that moment one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” That’s what Winning Him Without Words is like. For the woman who is married to a man who doesn’t share her faith in Christ, this book is a faithful friend who will encourage her in her feelings of aloneness, anxiety, frustration (and all the other emotions that come with living in a spiritually mismatched marriage) and point her to the One who can and will make something good out of them. This book will give great hope to those who may wonder if thriving is out of reach.
Nancy Kennedy
Author of When He Doesn’t Believe

As a “marriage” author, whenever I have a reader or audience member ask me, “What should I do if my husband isn’t a believer?” I have felt inadequate to support him or her. Now I have a new approach—pray and hand the person this book. As I read through these pages, I was humbled by the wisdom and encouragement that these women share—much of which was a timely reminder for my own marriage. With honest struggle and authentic hope, Dineen and Lynn show women how to make God the very center of their unequal marriages.
Kathi Lipp
Author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project

It has been a wonderful gift and blessing to “meet” Dineen and Lynn through their journeys. As one who is also unequally yoked in a spiritually mismatched marriage (to a wonderful guy, for 29 years!), the relief in knowing I am not alone is huge. That, coupled with practical keys they share as they share of themselves, has invigorated our marriage and brought honor to God.
Kathy Pride
Author of What the Bible Is All About for Moms

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780830756056
  • Publisher: Gospel Light Publications
  • Publication date: 2/15/2011
  • Pages: 208
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

LYNN DONOVAN writes for the online ministry she founded in 2006, Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Lynn is a popular Bible study leader and national speaker who dispels the myths women believe about love and marriage and points them to the freedom that is theirs through a living relationship with Christ. She lives in Temecula, California, with her husband, Mike.
 
DINEEN MILLER believes her years as a youth counselor, a Stephen Minister, a women’s ministry leader and a small group leader fuel her desire to ignite the souls of others through words of truth. She’s also a C.L.A.S.S. Communicator and has been featured on the Moody Radio Network, Family on the Family and FamilyLife Today. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband. They have two daughters and a son-in-law. Dineen is the coauthor of Winning Him Without Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and author of The Soul Saver. Visit Dineen online at spirituallyunequalmarriage.com.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 9

Introduction 11

Meet Lynn Donovan 15

Meet Dineen Miller 21

Key #1 Know that You're Not Alone! 25

Key #2 Don't Save Your Husband-Save Yourself 39

Key #3 Stay Connected 53

Key #4 Know the Essentials of Love: Hope, Joy, Peace and Trust (Oh, Yeah, and Respect) 67

Key #5 Believe Your Marriage Is Blessed 83

Key #6 Trade Perfection for Authenticity 95

Key #7 Pick and Choose Your Battles 107

Key #8 Move from Hurt to Healing-Seasons of Marriage 121

Key #9 Keep Your Armor On-You're at War! 135

Key #10 Learn When to Pray the Most Dangerous Prayer 149

Conclusion: Continuing the Journey 165

Appendix 1 What About the Kids? 167

Appendix 2 Praying Scriptures 179

Appendix 3 Family Faith Record 191

Appendix 4 Leader's Guide for Study Groups 193

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 8 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 19, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Fantastic resource!

    I may not be in a spiritually mismatched marriage myself, but I know lots of women who are and this book could be a marriage saving tool for so many of them. It could also be the tool that eventually turns that spiritual mismatch into a match. This book is easy to read and full of real life examples that make it very engaging. Lynn and Dineen really bare their souls as they go through their personal experiences and what they have learned. I personally found it wonderful just as a refresher on important things in a marriage (your husband needs and deserves your respect...) for me personally as well. Though this book may seem to have a limited audience who will really be able to appreciate it, every marriage could learn a lot from this little gem.

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  • Posted April 4, 2011

    Not Just Another Christian Self-Help Book

    Unequally yoked marriages are something all counselors encounter in session. We are trained to bring up the "hot button" issues like children, finances, and faith during premarital counseling because differences in key areas like these can lead to marital disharmony. In essence, therapists operate on the assumption that it's better to know ahead of time if you and your partner don't see eye-to-eye, so you can get a head start on resolving the issues instead of being blindsided by them later. But what if faith wasn't an issue when you first married? What if you came to a saving knowledge later in life and your spouse didn't? Or what if you shunned your faith values for a period, got married, and then came back to your faith? Authors Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller wrote their book Winning Him Without Words in an attempt to answer questions just like these, because they found themselves in the scenarios mentioned above. Both authors are so candid throughout the book that I never felt like this was just another Christian self-help book. These are real women, struggling with real issues, who don't claim to have all the answers. They do, however, claim to know the One who does. Despite years or praying for their husband's salvation, both Lynn and Dineen found certain principles to help their marriage thrive instead of wither and die. As a counselor, I wanted to take note of the 10 keys that helped them, and I'm so glad I did, because now I have a book to whole-heartedly recommend to clients facing similar life circumstances. Women everywhere will be able to relate to the yearning both women disclose they have for their husbands to accept Christ, because if we haven't prayed for our husband's salvation, then we've prayed for a change in our husband's attitudes or actions. All married women feel alone in their marriage at some point, and these principles Lynn and Dineen offer are solid ways to bring about real connection. In fact, one of the keys presented was to Stay Connected. In order to do this, Lynn joined a fantasy football league with her husband, even though she knew nothing about football. Dineen started playing disc golf. Yes, it required sacrifice of time and maybe even some of their own desires, but both marriages enriched from it. This is a great takeaway for women everywhere.

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  • Posted April 1, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Every church should have this book in their library

    I gave a copy to my church for the pastor who counsels on marriage. What we both loved was that these women are talking from the trenches. They give practical ways to love their unbelieving husbands. Good solid Biblical teaching, encourages, inspires, and give hope those in mismatched marriages.

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  • Posted March 25, 2011

    A must read for anyone in a spiritual mismatch!

    This book is a must read for anyone struggling at all in a spiritually mismatched marriage! It will change your life! I highly recommend it for any marriage, really. The principles are universal. What is amazing about this book is that the Ten Keys will not only improve any marriage, they will bring you closer to God. When I started this book I was hoping for tips to help me SURVIVE a spiritual mismatch. What I came away with were tips for helping me thrive in my marriage and possibly have an even deeper and stronger relationship with my King than I might were I on an easier path. I can assure you from experience, spiritual mismatch is not easy. But could it be an environment out of which you emerge an even stronger warrior for Jesus than if you had an easier path? Only God knows, but I'm telling you this book will take you one step closer!!! LOVED IT!!! Thank you Lynn & Dineen!

    ~Brenda

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  • Posted February 22, 2011

    Highly Recommend - Will be reading at least once a year!

    I laughed and I cried as I read this book and through all of it I was amazed to realize there are other women out there that feel the same way I do. I was encouraged, inspired and convicted, and now I am motivated to stive for a marriage that is not just mediocre but thrives despite the belief differences of my husband and I.

    This book is wonderfully written and definitely God-inspired. Lynn and Dineen clearly understand the unique issues of being spiritually mismatched and have learned with God's help to thrive in their marriages. Now they are sharing this hope with others.

    As I read the book I felt that I was sitting across the table from an old friend having coffee. They give practical advice on how to put your trust in God, to have hope in what is often a hopeless situation and learn to enjoy and thrive in the present. They are examples of how you don't have to wait until your husband puts his faith in God before you can truly enjoy your marriage and share a deep and intimate bond with your spouse. I personally plan to read this book at least once a year as a reminder that God has enabled me to truly love and cherish my beloved husband whether or not he shares my faith in God.

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  • Posted January 23, 2011

    Wonderful Resource for marriage

    Donovan's/Miller's book "Winning Him Without Words" is an encouraging book that will help not only unequally yoked couples, but all couples. The book is written from the heart, which you can feel in every word. God is in the center of the authors' marriages and they trust God for their husbands salvation. Donovan and Miller not only talk the talk, they walk it in obedience to God.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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