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Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Spice Up Your Speeches

Overview

Laughter is power.

Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds.

In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 ...

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Overview

Laughter is power.

Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds.

In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring.

While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780757300578
  • Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 8/15/2002
  • Pages: 544
  • Sales rank: 537,216

Meet the Author

Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers, is Senior Vice President of the Orlando Magic and has more than 40 years of professional sports experience. Before joining the central Florida pro basketball effort in 1986, Williams spent 12 seasons as General Manager of the Philadelphia 76ers, taking them from a 34-48 record in 1974-75 to the NBA title in 1983. Pat has written 24 books, including How to Be Like Mike, Making Magic, Ahead of the Game and A Lifetime of Success.
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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii
Accountant 2
Adages 3
Advertising 8
Advice 8
Aftershave 17
Air-Conditioning 17
Airline 18
Amtrak 23
Animals 23
Antiques 23
Apartments 24
Army 24
Art 27
Audience Repartee 27
Baby-Sitter 54
Bachelor 55
Bald 55
Banks 60
Banquets 63
Barber 64
Baseball 65
Basketball 71
Bible Characters 80
Birthday 80
Body Building 81
Books 81
Boss 88
Bowling 99
Boxing 99
Bumper Stickers 101
Business 101
Calculator 112
California 112
Camps 112
Cars 116
Childhood 120
Children 122
China 123
Chinese Restaurant 123
Christmas 123
Church 127
City 129
Clothes 130
Colds 131
College 132
Computers 136
Conventions 136
Cows 136
Crime 136
Dating 140
Daughters 143
Daylight Savings Time 143
Deejays (Disc Jockeys) 143
Dentists 144
Diet 145
Doctors 150
Dogs 169
Double Cross 172
Economy 176
Edison, Thomas 177
Education 178
Elections 178
Elephants 179
Ethnicville 179
Exercise 184
Farming 188
Fat 188
Father/Son 194
Father's Day 195
Fire 195
Fishing 196
Football 197
Garden 208
Girls 209
Golf 210
Graduation 219
Grandchildren 220
Groundhog Day 220
Halloween 222
Happiness 222
Health/Health Foods 222
History 223
Hockey 223
Homes 224
Horses 226
Hospitals 228
Hotels 230
How You Know Bad Day 231
Hunting 231
Impossible 236
Insurance 236
Introductions 238
Inventions 243
Jobs 246
Jogging 248
Kids 252
Lawyer 260
Marriage 266
Midwest 271
Money 271
Motels 274
Mother-in-Law 276
Mother's Day 278
Movies 278
Music 279
Neighbors 284
Newscast 284
Newspapers 287
New Year's 287
New York 288
Office 290
Oil 290
Opening 290
Optimists 291
Panhandlers 294
Parachutes 295
Parking 295
Paycheck 295
Performers/Performances 296
Plumbers 297
Politics 299
Post Office 307
Preacher 308
Prison 310
Profound Thoughts and Questions 311
Program Highlights 328
Psychiatrists 330
Railroads 334
Restaurant 334
Retirement 343
Rich 348
Roast 350
Salary 376
Sales 376
Salesman 377
School 381
Secretary 396
Senior Citizens 400
Short 410
Signs 411
Skiing 411
Skinny 412
Small Towns 412
Smoking 414
Snow 414
Soccer 415
Solar Energy 415
Speaker 415
Sports 422
Stock Market 429
Summer 430
Sunday School 431
Tax 434
Teenagers 439
Television 439
Texas 439
Thanksgiving 440
Though Neighborhood 441
Undertakers 446
United Nations 446
Vacation 448
Valentine's Day 457
Washington, George 460
Weather 460
Wedding 463
Wife 463
Wife's Cooking 469
Wife's Driving 471
Williams, Pat 472
Winter 473
Women 474
Women's Liberation 475
Work 475
World Conditions 476
Zoo 478
Afterword 479
About the Author 481
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