With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin

( 3 )

Overview


This is a story that, when told directly, shuts people up, the kind of story that drives people to change the subject, or cross the street when they see the teller coming. In 1949, author Dorothy Foltz-Gray and her identical twin sister, Deane, were born. In 1981, Deane, then a psychologist, was fatally shot by one of her patients. In the years between, the pair formed an almost supernaturally close bond, one so intimate that at times, their memories fused and their individual ...
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With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin

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Overview


This is a story that, when told directly, shuts people up, the kind of story that drives people to change the subject, or cross the street when they see the teller coming. In 1949, author Dorothy Foltz-Gray and her identical twin sister, Deane, were born. In 1981, Deane, then a psychologist, was fatally shot by one of her patients. In the years between, the pair formed an almost supernaturally close bond, one so intimate that at times, their memories fused and their individual identities dimmed.
Here, Foltz-Gray, an award-winning poet and journalist, recounts not only the extraordinary phenomenon of growing up in a world that could not distinguish her from another human being, but also the struggle to survive the loss of her twin. Foltz-Gray describes the imagined womb life she and her sister shared, their childhood and family, and their dreams of sharing each other’s lives. She also details the nightmare of her sister’s death, its immediate aftermath, and her attempts to recover her self.
With and Without Her is the story of what happens when a life divides into before and after. It is a story of identity and individuation, confusion and competition, intimacy and separation, violence and murder. Most of all, it is the story we all face, of loss and survival.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780786754205
  • Publisher: Argo-Navis
  • Publication date: 10/2/2012
  • Pages: 206
  • Sales rank: 261,115
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author


Dorothy Foltz-Gray has been a freelance writer and editor specializing in health, fitness, food, and personal essays for 18 years. A former editor of books (business and medical) and magazines (fiction, lifestyle) at Whittle Communications in Knoxville, Tennessee, she is the author of With and Without Her; Clean Sweep; Make Pain Disappear; Alternative Treatments for Arthritis: An A to Z Guide; and co-author of Food Cures. Her work has appeared in Bon Appetit; Cooking Light; Good Housekeeping; Health; Ladies Home Journal; Parenting; Prevention; O, The Oprah Magazine; Reader's Digest; Real Simple; Woman's Day; and others. She is a winner of the Tennessee Arts Comission Fellowship for Poetry; a Mature Media Gold Award; and an East Tennessee Society of Professional Journalists Award of Excellence. She lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with her husband, Dan.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 3 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 30, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Joy Hannabass for Readers' Favorite Identical twins

    Reviewed by Joy Hannabass for Readers' Favorite

    Identical twins Dorothy and Deane Foltz were born in 1949, and they were separated in 1981 when psychologist Deane was fatally shot by one of her patients. "With or Without Her" is surviving sister Dorothy’s story of what life has been like living with, and then living without, her identical twin. Dorothy starts with what she thinks it may have been like in the womb before she and Deane was born, the closeness they shared growing up and the dreams they had of leaving home and sharing their future lives and family with each other.

    This is a heartwarming memoir, and it is different from others I have read because Deane and Dorothy are twins. But their journey was not always an easy one, and the fascinating part of this story was learning how two individuals who are alike in looks, yet so different in actions, face life. This is not an easy story to read, and I admire the author for writing her amazing story. She doesn’t just give her readers words to read; she explains the difficult situations so intense that you get a dose of what she is feeling, and a good glimpse of her heartfelt emotions. This is my first book by Dorothy Foltz-Gray, and it didn’t take me long to realize that she is an awesome gifted writer who has her own unique way of telling her story. This is a book that everyone can enjoy. Its inspiration will encourage readers that have lost siblings, and for those who have a twin, this is a must to read! You will truly be amazed at Dorothy Foltz-Gray and the story she has shared with the world through her book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 21, 2013

    Compelling Captivating Memoir With and Without Her: A Memoir of

    Compelling Captivating Memoir

    With and Without Her: A Memoir of Being and Losing a Twin is an intriguing memoir about the story of loss and survival.

    I could not put this book down. It is moving, honest, and captivating. Memories are vividly shared with the readers and you can feel the inspiration, the hurt, the love, and truth.

    Highly Recommended Read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2013

    it is a very insightful and courageous book that gives a glimpse

    it is a very insightful and courageous book that gives a glimpse into the life of twins. The author opens her life that others may understand and learn from her tragedy. It is uncomfortable at times, but worth reading.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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