The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men

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More About This Book

Overview

I n this edition of his parenting classic, Michael Gurian considers how the culture has changed in the ten years since The Wonder of Boys was first published, including the impact of the Internet.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Yes, boys and girls are different, says Washington state family therapist Gurian (Mothers, Sons and Lovers), urging that society learn how to deal creatively with gender-specific needs. In considering the cultural effects of heightened gender consciousness, Gurian warns of the dangers of "enmeshing male development with a female culture in transition." Outlining biological differences, he explains that boys are "hard-wired" to possess certain traits. Because of male brain chemistry and the hormone testosterone, boys are apt, for example, to relish risk-taking and to be physically aggressive and competitive (violence, he claims is not hard-wired, but learned through culture). What Gurian adds to this generally recognized background material is a persuasive summons to society, specifically parents, educators and communities, to unite to channel these traits in positive directions. Sports, for instance, allow competition but also teach responsibility. Work, nature study, music and spiritual pursuits are other positive channels. Gurian, who has also lived in Europe, Asia and the Middle East, suggests that we in the U.S. have grown away from beneficial rites of passageand toward "isolated, tremulous, family systems." In this shift, he contends, boys have been abandoned, and he urges that society reclaim responsibility for the moral and spiritual upbringing of young males, with guidance offered by elder mentors and support coming from extended family or community. Writing in a calm, compassionate voice, Gurian delivers a compelling call to action. 50,000 first printing; author tour. (Oct.)
Library Journal
Family therapist Gurian (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers, LJ 12/93) offers a sweeping look at what makes boys and men act the way they do. He begins by thoroughly defining gender differences. Citing the strong push to hunt and reproduce, he argues that men need to compete and do combat and that society must accommodate these needs more productively. A boy needs a tribe, says Gurian, and not one but three families (birth or adoptive parents, extended families, and culture/community) are required to help him become a healthy man. Also, Gurian stresses discipline, spiritual principles, and "husbandry," which he defines as "generating and maintaining stable relationships with self, family, community, culture, and earth." All told, there is much to ponder and much to challenge readers here. On the other hand, Jungian analyst Rutter (Woman Changing Woman, LJ 7/93) begins with a large chip on her shoulder, whining from the start that girls are subjected to unbelievable pressures that diminish their self-esteem. Though she seeks to "celebrate" womanhood, the result is the oppositethe tone turns ever inward, focusing almost solely on issues of self-worth. Rutter praises rites of passage, coming-of-age ceremonies, and informal rituals (e.g., sharing a candlelit bath with your daughter, buying a first bra together) as the keys to enhancing self-esteem. She also recommends books and films that she feels reproduce positive images for women, including Thelma and Louise. Ultimately, however, what Rutter seems to be doing is turning mothers and daughters into members of a self-absorbed "me" generation. Not recommended.Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781585425280
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
  • Publication date: 9/7/2006
  • Edition description: 10th Anniversary Edition
  • Edition number: 20
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 140,373
  • Product dimensions: 8.88 (w) x 10.90 (h) x 0.84 (d)

Meet the Author

Michael Gurian is a psychotherapist and bestselling author whose books include The Wonder of Boys and The Good Son. His work reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern, and American) in which he lived, worked, and studied. He has taught psychology, religion, mythology, and literature at three American universities and at Ankara University in Turkey. He lives with his wife and two children in Spokane, Washington.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 11 )

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 12 of 11 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2002

    This sounds awesome....wish I had time!

    As I glanced over the bio on the book and the reader comments I pondered actually purchasing it! Then it hit me, I'll use the $13+ and get my fishing license and spend this weekend with my son just seeing what's happening with him and his life. It's been awhile and I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for the book...just the same :)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted March 11, 2011

    Excellent book

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book, it was quite an eye opener for me as a woman raising a son. It has profoundly effected my decisions in his upbringing and how I have related to him at different ages. I recommend this book, particularly to mothers.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted February 22, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    A Theoretical, Sociological Book

    Although I appreciate Mr. Gurian's efforts and contributions, I did not find this book to be that useful for what to do now, today, with this challenging 7 year-old. It was written in the 90's and is interesting as a response as we came from "women's lib", but I found I lost interest as he opined extensively on primative cultures, the political landscape, and the three sets of families--we have enough challenge right here, right today, and need practical help and specific suggestions as to how to best negotiate the bumpy terrain of this second decade of the 21st century. I'll let him be a boy and know that he is different, but still will struggle for solutions to very mundane but daily problems.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2005

    education in america

    america produces the best brains,it has the best institutions for higher learning, the best academia in the world in diverse fields. why schools have not shaped up? children are the nursery of future,teach the teachers, reward them well, since interactive with screen is current best choice for learning. in e-world,the best practises of other countries to be adopted and adapted, india has huge reservoir of excellent teachers in schools, no wonder india excels in higher fields of engineering and is rushing to states for learning. may be outsourcing to india will be best option to improve quality and create the best for future paddy

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2000

    Boys should be boys, not little men!

    This book is correct. Boys need to be boys! And that they are different than girls yet that we still need to show them that compassion and emotions are things that everyone needs and needs to show! I strongly suggest this book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 20, 2000

    Just Like Me

    As I read the book and examined my own upbringing I saw that this book was dead on. As a father, I deeply realize my influence on my sons. I want my boys to be exceptional husbands, fathers and citizens and it wont happen if I dont do my part.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2000

    Boys ARE different fro mGirls

    This book does a great job of pointing out that there are definitive differences in biology between the sexes and it is these differences that may lead to certain behaviors in boys. We all know this to be true, but there are many out there who refuse to belive it. Why would we have evolved into two sexes if there were no differences between them! Once we accept the notion that 'boys will be boys', we can look for ways to help channel their behaviors into positive things. Anyone who read this book and doesn't get that message is reading betwen the lines way too much.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted May 23, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 5, 2011

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    Posted March 21, 2010

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    Posted January 14, 2011

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