This concise book helps educators expand their skills for communicating with parents of victims and bullies. In realistic language, the author explores common concerns of both parties and offers practical strategies to help school staff carry out conversations and interventions with even the most persistent or resistant parents. Readers will find sample dialogues and vignettes written by parents, plus: An eight-point plan for talking with parents about bullying, Six Fair Expectations to encourage effective teacher-parent collaboration, Talking points to help parents dialogue with their children about bullying. The lessons from this resource can help administrators, counselors, and teachers partner effectively with parents to create a positive learning climate for all students.
"This book is a no-nonsense approach to working collaboratively with parents, students, and administrators to stop bullying situations and prevent bullying in the future. It provides practical, easy-to-use techniques and strategies that can be adapted for different situations. A must-have for educators who want to instill changes."
"This book provides practical and useful strategies for educators to engage parents as partners in the difficult but important task of addressing bullying, both as it occurs and in a proactive and preventive manner."
"This is an informative, practical, and thought-provoking book on an important subject neglected by both researchers and writers. It is full of down-to-earth, commonsense advice that educators will find very helpful in addressing a difficult and complex issue. I will share it with my colleagues."
"Perfect for college-level libraries appealing to educators and for working professionals in the field. The lessons are for administrator and teachers alike and use case study examples to reinforce real-world solutions."
"The book's accessible style is relatively free of jargon, and provides numerous case studies to assist teachers and counselors in conducting productive conversations with parents. "
"The book's accessible style is relatively free of jargon, and provides numerous case studies to assist teachers and counselors in conducting productive conversations with parents."
Walter B.Roberts, Jr., is a professor of counselor education at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He began his career in education as a classroom teacher in 1978 and later served as a school counselor before moving to higher education in 1993. In addition to being licensed for private practice, he has extensive public policy experience in mental health and school safety issues, consults and testifies with legislators and the judicial system, and is a frequent source with the media on counseling-related issues. Bullying from Both Sides, his first book published by Corwin Press in 2006, continues to be a bestseller.
About the Author xiii
Every Parent's Nightmare-and Yours, Too! 1
Who Will Benefit From This Book? 2
The High Cost of Ignoring the Problem 3
How Educators Have Overlooked Parents as Partners 4
How to Use This Book With Parents 6
What Bullying and Teasing Do to Everyone-Kids, Adults, and Communities 9
Death Comes to Lake Wobegon 10
When Intervention Stops Tragedy 13
The Pain That Resonates to the Bone 14
How Everyone Loses When Bullying Occurs 14
Why Parents Complain About Schools' Responses to Bullying 17
Parents' Attitudes Toward Public Schools: The Statistics 18
About Those "They Didn't Do Anything" Claims 19
Documenting the Facts on School Interventions 20
How to Talk With Parents Whose Children Are Bullied 27
Parents of Bullied Children: The Two Camps 28
Working With the Actively Involved Parent 29
Working With the Less Actively Involved Parent 35
The "Inverted Curve" and Tension Cycle 39
How to Work With Parents Whose Children Bully Others 47
Some Things to Keep in Mind About the Families of Aggressive Children 47
Television's Impact on Children and Bullying 49
KISSing a Plan Increases the Chances of Success for Everyone 56
The Parent Who Refuses to Cooperate 61
Subverting the Dominant Paradigm 61
Conflict Resolution With Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate 65
Eleven Global Approaches Toward Conflict Resolution 66
Types of Difficult Parents 73
The Parent Bully 73
The Silent Treatment 74
The Staller 75
The Negative 77
The Complainer 78
What About Mediation and Negotiation? 82
Helping Parents Talk at Home With Their Children About Misbehaviors 85
Helping Parents Understand Punishment, Accountability, and Restitution 85
Restorative Justice 87
Helping Parents Help Their Child Think About Righting a Wrong 89
What Happens After That First Step? 92
Seven Talking Points for Helping Parents Talk to Children About Being Bullied 97
Help Parents Understand the Importance of Listening to Their Child's Concerns About Bullying and Teasing 97
Asking the Right Questions Will Likely Increase Parent-Child Communication 99
Parents Want to Obtain as Many Details as Possible in an Understanding Fashion 100
Parents Need to Assure Their Children That They Will Work With Them to Find a Solution to the Problem 103
Parents Should Ask the Child's Opinions and Concerns About Discussing the Situation With School Personnel 104
Encourage the Child Not to Respond to Provocation With Violence 107
Parents Should Encourage Their Child to Ask Those in a Supervisory Capacity for Assistance 109
Fair Expectations of Parents and Educators in Solving the Problem of Bullying 113
Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented 114
Once Bullying Has Been Reported, the Parent Has the Right to Expect the Supervisory Authority to Indicate Concern 115
Parents Expect the Supervisory Authority to Investigate the Concern 117
Appropriate Intervention Will Take Place If the Concerns Are Validated 119
The Supervisory Authority Will Communicate With Parents as to the Outcome of the Intervention 120
Never Forget Fair Expectation 1-Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented 122
The Courage to Act 125