World Class Marriage: How to Create the Relationship You Always Wanted with the Partner You Already Have

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Millions of American marriages have failed or will fail, resulting in what the authors see as a social epidemic that brings devastating consequences to the couple, their children, and to the economic and social fabric of society. Building upon their notion of the 16 "pillars" that promote a healthy and rewarding marriage, the authors present a structure for relationship success that is built upon groundbreaking information about what does and does not work in relationships and the conditions that promote growth and intimacy. This approach offers couples a powerful toolbox for eliminating behaviors that damage their relationship and pumping up the behaviors that promote love, caring, closeness and cooperation. World Class Marriage is a book all couples who want to see their marriages last should read and share.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Despite all the books, magazine articles, and talk shows full of advice for couples, many marriages still end in divorce. Yet Howell and Jones, relationship educators who work with the California Healthy Marriages Coalition and have been married for 30 years, believe the answers to making a relationship flourish already exist in groundbreaking research that is "largely buried in professional literature of which most couples are unaware." They've set out to change that by distilling their findings into "16 pillars" necessary to "elevate" a marriage to "world class" status. Organized as chapters, many of their pillars illuminate the self-destructive ruts couples can find themselves in. Others, such as "Using Power," "Listening," and "Knowing When to Surrender," outline steps that can be taken to heal a wounded psyche. "Growing Yourself" and "Changing Behaviors, not Your Partner" are especially helpful, as psychology has made abundantly clear that change, within a relationship or otherwise, usually only comes from within. Couples who are committed to improving their relationship will find this a supportive guide. (June)
Dennis Stoica
World Class Marriage is a great book. It's fun and easy to read, but so rich with valuable nuggets. I've found myself going back into the book many times. Highly recommended.
Joek I. Vader-deGraaff
The ideas in this book carry the trademark of two experienced communications trainers: Patty and Ralph. Here are powerful tools and ideas. I recommend them to any couple interested in adding satisfaction to their relationship.
H. Tucker Upshaw
Wow! And wow again! My wife and I are both thrilled and inspired to see what you've created with World Class Marriage.
Dr. Zsuzsa Varkonyi
The authors give an authentic, knowledgeable and easy to follow description of the most important nurturing and damaging factors of a marriage, You learn from this eye-opening book meaningful insights and practical advice that will help you clean the dust out of your marriage.
Annet Bakker-Brouwer
Ralph and Patty have succeeded in writing about important matters in a comprehensive book written in simple language that anyone can understand!
Harville Hendrix
World Class Marriage has wisdom that will help every relationship flourish-with your spouse, family, coworkers, friends. This is an outstanding read!
Dr. Eun Soon Yang
Korean family ministry leaders feel deeply enriched by the gorgeous vision of World Class Marriage (WCM) constructed on the 16 pillars. We are eager to deliver the beautiful gift of WCM to all Koreans!
Dr. Karlpeter Breue
If you are thinking of getting married, this book will help you avoid mistakes and sleepless nights. If your marriage has lost its freshness and become dry, this book will help you bring new emotional intensity and enjoyment each day. And if your marriage is badly disturbed, this book will help you trust once more in your relationship being able to bounce back into shape.
Bishop John Sanchez
For me, World Class Marriage is a tremendous and quite practical book that is very easy to read. Its 16 Pillars are extraordinary for helping Hispanic couples move toward a fantastic and happy marriage. Read it with an open heart.
Nicolee McMahon
I thoroughly enjoyed the book and have found the information to be very relevant and accessible for clients, Thank you for writing it!
Mary McAulay Boyvey
Here is solid and deeply supportive wisdom for all the couples in the world who want to be alive and fully present with each other. Doctors, psychotherapists, and teachers yearn for such an engaging, direct, and hopeful guidebook, both for their own inspiration and for the kitchen tables of those who seek their counsel.
Anky Floris
A World Class Marriage brings the fulfillment of a love relationship within reach. It offers the cutlery that is needed for a relationship feast. The book gives you immediately applicable skills and brilliant insights into the mysteries of love.
Diane Sollee
I just got my copy of the new edition of World Class Marriage: How to Create the Relationship You Have Always Wanted with the Partner You Already Have. There are so many marriage books (I receive several each week), but this one stands out and I want to give it my highest recommendation. In fact I'd go so far as to say if you can only buy one marriage education *how to* book this year, or are looking for one to give to your married kids or friends, this is it. It is incredibly helpful, practical, and loaded with everything a couple needs, but what makes it so especially useful is that it is delightfully written. It's easy to read, hard to put down. This one they'll read.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781442203259
  • Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
  • Publication date: 5/16/2010
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 150
  • Sales rank: 1,160,536
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Patty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.C., is a nationally-recognized Marriage and Relationship Educator who serves as Vice President of Operations and Media Relations for the California Healthy Marriages Coalition, a pioneering non-profit that works throughout California to increase awareness about Marriage and Relationship Education. A popular public speaker, Patty is the author of the highly-esteemed "Healthy Marriages" series of booklets, along with many other writings. She was the founding president of Pacific Rim Park, a nonprofit organization that fosters international cooperation and goodwill. Ralph Jones has been a prominent trainer of programs in the Person-Centered Approach for over 30 years. Working with Dr. Thomas Gordon, he oversaw the expansion of Gordon Training programs into a worldwide phenomenon. Ralph has taught hundreds of communication workshops for professionals and lay people around the world and is responsible for the creation of training materials now used on four continents. He currently works with the California Healthy Marriages Coalition.

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Table of Contents

1 Acknowledgments 2 Definition of a World Class Marriage 3 Introduction 4 The Nature of Marriage 5 The Structure of a World Class Marriage 6 Diagram of the Structure 7 Part One: The Sixteen Pillars of a World Class Marriage 8 1. Setting Goals 9 2. Avoiding Blame 10 3. Understanding the Nature of Behavior 11 4. Using Power Listening 12 5. Giving up "Tit for Tat" 13 6. Assuming Self-Responsibility 14 7. Avoiding Cool Talk 15 8. Changing Behaviors, Not Your Partner 16 9. Knowing When to Surrender 17 10. Giving Caring the Way It Matters 18 11. Handling Hot Topics 19 12. Resolving Conflicts and Disagreements 20 13. Giving Apology and Forgiveness 21 14. Growing Yourself 22 15. Forging a Bond 23 16. Nurturing the Honeymoon 24 Part Two: Applying the Pillars 25 Living Together 26 Gay/Lesbian Relationships 27 Kids and the Relationship 28 Getting Men to Communicate 29 Being Yourself in the Relationship 30 Concluding Thoughts 31 Endnotes 32 Bibliography 33 Workshops 34 About the Authors 35 International Editions

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