The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: How to Escape from Quicksand, Wrestle an Alligator, Break Down a Door, Land a Plane...

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Overview

Danger! It lurks at every corner. Volcanoes. Sharks. Mountain lions. Quicksand. Terrorists. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it's up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help survive the most harrowing predicaments: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, instructions on everything you need to know fast--from detecting a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab.

Providing frightening and funny real information, this indispensable guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know...

About the Authors:
Joshua Piven, a resident of Philadelphia, is a computer journalist and freelance writer, and is a former editor at Ziff-Davis Publishing. He has been chased by knife-weilding motorcycle bandits, stuck in subway tunnels, been robbed and mugged, has had to break down doors and pick locks, and his computer crashes regularly.

David Borgenicht, a resident of Philadelphia, is a writer and editor who has written several nonfiction books. He has ridden in heavily-armored vehicles in Pakistan, stowed away on Amtrak, been conned by a grifter, broken into several houses (each for good reason), and has "borrowed" mini-bottles from the drink cart on Delta.

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
If you've never had to escape from a sinking car, fend off a shark, or deal with a charging bull, you should thank your lucky stars. And then you should pick up The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook. The book provides tongue-in-cheek instructions on how to free oneself from the grip of an alligator, jump from a building into a dumpster, and survive a host of other dangerous, albeit unlikely, situations. For some, The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook will simply be outrageous, humorous entertainment. But for those who are accident-prone or who constantly find themselves in the wrong place (like the mouth of an alligator) at the wrong time (dinnertime), it may actually be a lifesaver. Whether you're looking for laughs or advice, The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook should be required reading.
Forbes
How many book jackets have you seen bearing the words, "This book can save your life!"? Finally a book that really, no kidding, could.
From The Critics

Those with deep-seated fears about killer bees, quicksand, mountain lions and sharks will enjoy The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht , a handy little book for the extremely prepared that is climbing the best-seller list.

Just so you know right away, the first rule of survival is Do Not Panic. The last rule is Learn to Return. There are a lot of rules in between. This handbook tells how to get out of 40 bad situations, "pretty much a scary scenario for everyone," Piven says. Experts were consulted. The longest scenario (six pages) tells how to land a small passenger plane in case the pilot can't.

Everything signals seriousness. The cover (yellow-orange like traffic signs, school buses, No. 2 pencils) conveys caution, safety. The language is plain (scant adjectives) and formal (no contractions). The black-and-white drawings were inspired by that survival bible, The Boy Scout Handbook. This book is serious right down to the warning in the beginning: "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERTAKE ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK YOURSELF."

This is a no-nonsense, no-fooling-around guide with straightforward information. But fear not: The authors have enough perspective to acknowledge the campy appeal of an armchair guide for the anxious. "We thought it would be funny to people," Borgenicht says.

They were, he says, "inspired by pop culture as much as by paranoia - most of the scenarios we talk about were a TV or a movie scene."

Sharks, the authors say, scared both of them to pieces in childhood.

Blame it on Jaws.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780811825559
  • Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
  • Publication date: 10/28/1999
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 178,751
  • Lexile: 0960L (what's this?)
  • Series: Worst Case Scenario Series
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.00 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Joshua Piven is a writer, editor, and Web site designer who lives in Philadelphia. He's ready for anything.

David Borgenicht is a Philadelphia-based writer whose own worst-case scenario involved a heavy-armored vehicle in Pakistan.

Read an Excerpt

HOW TO SURVIVE A POISONOUS SNAKE ATTACK
Because poisonous snakes can be difficult to identifyand because some nonpoisonous snakes have markings very similar to venomous ones-the best way to avoid getting bitten is to leave all snakes alone. Assume that a snake is venomous unless you know for certain that it is not.

HOW TO TREAT A BITE
1)Wash the bite with soap and water as soon as you can.
2)Immobilize the bitten area and keep it lower than the heart. This will slow the flow of the venom.
3)Get medical help as soon as possible. A doctor should treat all snakebites unless you are willing to bet your life that the offending snake is nonpoisonous. Of about eight thousand venomous bites a year in the U.S., nine to fifteen victims are killed. A bite from any type of poisonous snake should always be considered a medical emergency. Even bites from nonpoisonous snakes should be treated professionally, as severe allergic reactions can occur. Some Mojave rattlesnakes carry a neurotoxic venom that can affect the brain or spinal cord, causing paralysis.
4)Immediately wrap a bandage tightly two to four inches above the bite to help slow the venom if you are unable to reach medical care within thirty minutes. The bandage should not cut off blood flow from a vein or artery. Make the bandage loose enough for a finger to slip underneath.
5)If you have a first aid kit equipped with a suction device, follow the instructions for helping to draw venom out of the wound without making an incision. Generally, you will need to place the rubber suction cup over the wound and attempt to draw the venom out from the bite marks.

WHAT NOT TO DO

  • Do not place any ice or cooling element on the bite; this will make removing the venom with suction more difficult.
  • Do not tie a bandage or a tourniquet too tightly. If used incorrectly, a tourniquet can cut blood flow completely and damage the limb.
  • Do not make any incision on or around the wound in an attempt to remove the venom-there is danger of infection.
  • Do not attempt to suck out the venom. You do not want it in your mouth, where it might enter your bloodstream.

HOW TO ESCAPE FROM A PYTHON
Unlike poisonous snakes, pythons and boas kill their prey not through the injection but by constriction; hence these snakes are known as constrictors. A constrictor coils its body around its prey, squeezing it until the pressure is great enough to kill.
Since pythons and boas can grow to be nearly twenty feet long, they are fully capable of killing a grown person, and small are even more vulnerable. The good new is that most pythons will strike and then try to get away, rather than consume a full-grown human.
1) Remain still. This will minimize constriction strength, but a python usually continues constricting well after the prey is dead and not moving.
2) Try to control the python's head and try to unwrap the coils, starting from whichever end is available.

HOW TO AVOID AN ATTACK

  • Do not try to get a closer look, prod the snake to make it move, or try to kill it.
  • If you come across a snake, back away slowly an give it a wide berth: snakes can easily strike half their body length in an instant, and some species are six feet or longer.
  • When hiking in an area with poisonous snakes, always wear thick leather boots and long pants.
  • Keep to marked trails.
  • Snakes are cold-blooded and need the sun to help regulate their body temperature. They are often found lying on warm rocks or in other sunny places.

Table of Contents

Forward, by "Mountain" Mel Deweese
Preface
Great Escapes and Entrances
How to Escape from Quicksand
How to Break Down a Door
How to Hot
wire a Car
How to Perform a Fast 180
Degree Turn with Your Car
How to Ram a Car
How to Escape from a Sinking Car
How to Deal with a Downed Power Line
The Best Defense
How to Survive a Poisonous Snake Attack
How to Fend Off a Shark
How to Escape a from a Bear
How to Escape from a Mountain Lion
How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator
How to Escape from Killer Bees
How to Deal with a Charging Bull
How to Win a Sword Fight
How to Take a Punch
Leaps of Faith
How to Jump from a Bridge or Cliff into a River
How to Jump froma Building into a Dumpster
How to Maneuver on Top of a Moving Train and Get Inside
How to Jump from a Moving Car
How to Leap from a Motorcycle to a Car
Emergencies
How to Perform a Tracheotomy
How to Use a Defibrillator to Restore a Heartbeat
How to Identify a Bomb
How to Deliver a Baby in a Taxicab
How to Treat Frostbite
How to Treat a Leg Fracture
How to Treat a Bullet or Knife Wound
Adventure Survival
How to Land a Plane
How to Survive an Earthquake
How to Survive Adrift at Sea
How to Survive When Lost in the Desert
How to Survive If Your Parachute Fails to Open
How to Survive an Avalanche
How to Survive If you Are in the Line of Gunfire
How to Survive When Lost in the Mountains
How to Make Fire Without Matches
How to Avoid Being Stuck by Lightning
How to Get tot the Surface If Your Scuba Tank Runs of Air
The Experts
About the Authors
Customer Reviews
Average Rating 4
( 68 )

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 19, 2011

    Not What Was Expected

    What I ordered (a Mad Libs book) and what I received (the Worst-Case Scenario Handbook) didn't even have the same cover. I purchased this because I wanted a Mad Libs book for a project I was working on, and I didn't have time to wait for one of the paper products to ship to me. I thought this Nook item would be perfect, but I was misled by the cover and the book description.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2011

    Bad book!

    Im sorry to say this but the author YOU LIED!!!!!!! Thats just wrong!

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 17, 2011

    A mix up

    I thought i bought Mad Libs the word game, but this could come in handy

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2006

    great stuff

    This book is such a strange mixture of ridiculous humor and ideas I actually intend to use. I must admit, I now feel very well prepared for next fall, when I enter college.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 26, 2002

    CRAZY

    this is the best book ever. There is no other better book in the world.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2001

    Not helpful

    I didnt enjoy or become more inlightened from this book in anyway.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 17, 2012

    Mad libs

    I LOVE MAD LIBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):)

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2012

    Cfdtfugye

    I love Mad Lids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2012

    Jman

    Does anyone have really good games for the nook

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2011

    Ur t Coolio

    Tkirkde

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 2, 2011

    Worst book

    Boo

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 7, 2011

    Buy full version

    The free sample only gets through the introductory pages. I was disapointed.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 22, 2011

    Rip off.

    This mad libs is a rip off. I bought 140 stories once fot five dollars.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 31, 2010

    My 9-year-old son loves it

    He says it's "awesome".

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 31, 2007

    Totally irreverant and unbelievably fun

    I gave this book to my best friend when he was preparing for college. My only hope is that he passed it on to a younger counterpart when he was finished with it (like I did). I love that this book mixes practical advice with witty banter. From how to choose the best dorm mattress to how to ask your parents for money to how to avoid that creepy old guy in the dorm (c'mon, every college has one...or a few), this book is packed full of anecdotes that might not solve your problem, but will at the very least have to laughing about it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 22, 2005

    This was too funny!

    This book is hilarious! Buy this book only if you have a good sense of humor and looking for a good laugh. My girlfriends and I couldn't stop laughing at the crazy scenarios!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2004

    DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!!

    Don't waste your money on this book....like I did. Common sense and a couple of life experiences and you know more than this book. Escape from a bad date by going to the bathroom, breaking out the glass window and crawling out......come on.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2003

    great little book to have on hand

    oh, such a nice little book to read when bored.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 1, 2004

    Great Troubleshooting Reference Book

    I bought this fabulous book due to the helpful cover story article in REDBOOK Magazine, January, 2004 edition....On pages 106-107 (in a section called 'Simple Solutions'), concise, sensible excerpts from 'The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Parenting' covered some of the most troubling situations parents face with thier kids. The article highlights 5 common ones...What to do when gum gets in her hair, how to get a marble out of a child's nose, how to deal with a dead pet, how to untie a severely knotted shoelace, and how to help your child pee (safely) by the side of the road (all of which we have faced with are 3 and 5 year olds!) I personally found that removing gum by freezing it with an icecube works! Blowing a short but forceful puff of air into my child's mouth while gently pressing the unclogged nostril closed easily popped the pea out of my 3 year old's nose, and choosing not to automatically yank and tug the massive tight tangle in the sneaker shoelace but rather inserting and wiggling the tines of a fork in the middle to loosen the tightest part first did the trick in a few minutes. 'Doable' parent friendly book with tons of advice for sticky situations. Then on the next page of the magazine (page 108) were more 'Simple Solutions' for breaking bad behavior habits. I especially liked the sensible suggestions from the author of 'The Pocket Parent' about how to stop preschoolers' hitting and tattling. I highly recommend both of these helpful books...one on crises solutions and the other on behavior solutions for 2-5 year olds. These two books are both quick read reference guides with a variety of solutions for each problem. Especially helpful for maintaining the sanity and patience of loving but often stressed-out parents of young children.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2003

    Silly, entertaining, but may actually be useful to someone!

    Everyone has had dreadful bosses, scary or annoying co-workers, and everyone has felt that they arent' qualified for at least one job for which they are interviewing. Fewer of us get to sneak out of meetings- although many would love to!, or how to get out of various small places one could get trapped in. I personally really loved the section on 'How to fix a Dented Company Vehicle' since my Volvo has a few dings I'd love to see gone./ / // ./././. The non-emergencies might be do-able; you might remember the various steps needed to pull those things off when you need a status-enhancing rumor to start flying around the workplace. Sadly, the emergencies will likely catch you unaware and you won't have the handy smooth edged guidebook in your pocket to pull out just as the office supplies start avalanching down upon you. Alas. .../ / / / I was writing this review in order to be able to move the book out of my house when I decided I might need a refresher on some of these things. After all, someday soon my children will grow up and I'll need this book in case I decide to be a slacker! Just kidding!

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