Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language

Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language

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by Kathryn Petras, Ross Petras
     
 

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Wretched writing is the lowest of the low; it is a felonious assault on the English language. Exuberantly excessive, it is a sin committed often by amateurs and all-too-frequently by gifted writers having an off day. In short, it’s very bad writing. Truly bad. Appallingly bad.

It’s also very funny.

A celebration of the worst writing imaginable,

Overview

Wretched writing is the lowest of the low; it is a felonious assault on the English language. Exuberantly excessive, it is a sin committed often by amateurs and all-too-frequently by gifted writers having an off day. In short, it’s very bad writing. Truly bad. Appallingly bad.

It’s also very funny.

A celebration of the worst writing imaginable, Wretched Writing includes inadvertently filthy book titles, ridiculously overwrought passages from novels, bombastic and confusing speeches, moronic oxymorons, hyperactive hyperbole, horribly inappropriate imagery in ostensibly hot sex scenes, mangled clichés, muddled metaphors, and unintended double entendres.

Sit back and enjoy these deliciously dreadful samples, and try not to cringe too much.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
The Petrases (Unusually Stupid Americans), a brother-and-sister team, dig deep in this entertaining and cringe-inducing collection of overwrought passages taken from various sources published from the 19th century to the present. The book is arranged by alleged literary crime (“colorful language, excessive,” “food imagery, bad,” “metaphors, confusing”), and the authors mercilessly skewer bad writing and offer plenty of examples. Some cases are simply confusing (“She sat huddled in a chair, covering her ears with crossed legs”) while others more readily appall (“He smiles down at her nipple, which is brown as a bar of Belgian chocolate”). There are the pathetic sex scenes (“He held her breasts in his hands. Oddly, he thought, the lower one might be larger”—written by Scooter Libby), awful book titles (Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers), and embarrassingly bad attempts at dialect (“Yassuh, A spose we caint keep dese ressavations,” from Ian Fleming’s Live and Let Die). Readers may be surprised to see authors like Danielle Steel, Glenn Beck, and Michael Crichton among the offenders, proving the authors’ point that no one is above making the occasional error. It all adds up to a terrifically guilty pleasure for readers (and writers). (Aug.)

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780399159244
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
08/06/2013
Pages:
224
Sales rank:
1,109,457
Product dimensions:
8.48(w) x 5.52(h) x 0.56(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras are a brother-and-sister writing team, and the authors of the bestselling Stupidest series—which includes the #1 bestselling page-a-day calendar The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said (now in its nineteenth year—with more than 4.5 million copies sold)—along with other books.

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Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language 3.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Wretched Writing was a fun little read. It was easy to pick up and put down, great when you only have five minutes or so to read. Many of the passages they show are quite funny and worth sharing. It's also heartening to know that everyone has bad days!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I sat across from my twin sister, Rosabelle, watching her drawn. She tapped the pencil in her right to her chin, baby blue eyes upward. She beamed amd picked up a purple colored penicl in her left hand amd began to draw. I watched her curiously, as soft-looking fur was sketched into the paper. Belle continued to stay focused on her task. Once done, she closed her eyes, counted to ten, and whirreled around. She squealed in joy and dashed to the back of our room. She wrapped her little arms around a brand-new purple, fluffy teddy bear the size of a doberman. I grinned, and being six, I saw no harm in creating my own friend. Grabbing a black colored pencil in my left hand and a green one in my right, I quietly and quickly drew my favorite animal, with percice detail. Like Belle, once I had completed it, I closed ky eyes, counted to ten, and whipped myself around to a small, "Mew." I beamed and picked up the tiny black kitten. She had green eyes and a scruffy pelt, and I fondled her head. The kitten purred like a motar boat. "I'll name you Missy, Missy!" I giggled. Belle's jaw dropped and she ran over, sliding to her knees. "Rory! Mom'll know we Created again!" As if on cue, out mother knocked on the door. "Rory, Rosabelle, nap time!" We exchanged looks and darted to out beds, shoving Missy under my thick fleece sheets. By the time our mom walked in, we were both out cold.