Wurst Case Scenarioby Catherine Clark
Funny, quirky Catherine Clark brings us another diary of the irrepressible Courtney Von Dragen Smith. This time, Courtney has done the unthinkable: in a burst of self-improving zeal (and some unexpected trouble with local options), she has left home for college in America's Dairyland, where eating vegan is regarded as highly suspicious at best, and Grant (best bf ever) is 1,000 miles away. And so Courtney, "so on the fringe," begins her chronicle of what truly is the wurst case scenario.
- HarperCollins Publishers
- Publication date:
- Edition description:
- 1 ED
- Product dimensions:
- 5.28(w) x 7.26(h) x 1.17(d)
- Age Range:
- 13 Years
Read an Excerpt
8/18 Friday Night
Can I even explain the weirdness that is my life right now?
My new college roommate, the person I have to spend the next 9 months living with, Mary Jo Johannsen, is sleeping now. Went to bed at 10. Set alarm for 5 but said she'd probably wake up before it went off. What? Who wakes up before 5?
Her straw-blond hair is spread out on the pillow. She has baby-blue flannel pajamas with little black-and-white Holstein cows on them. Which she is wearing even though it is about 90 degrees in our room. 3rd floor. Hot, humid. No A/C.
Mary Jo is the type of person you might hate if she weren't so nice. Too nice, actually. Highly suspect. Has perfect body, perfect hair, and no clue of this. Wears unflattering clothes that end up looking good anyway -- orange corduroy pants, the kind you see for $1.99 at Old Navy, only hers are legitimately vintage, plus white T- shirt with green John Deere tractor logo. She's tan, she has muscles. She looks healthy, strong, normal. Sort of like Drew Barrymore.
Me, I feel like the heifer in the photo at the end of her bed. Could be the fact I ate cheese in addition to sour cream today, however. In spite of being a vegan. Okay, a semi-vegan. Mary Jo's mom brought snacks and sandwiches and cubed cheese and kept insisting I have some, wouldn't take no for an answer. Realized I had to take something or she would never stop asking. Opted for the lesser of 27 evils and had cheddar cubes. Mom was in heaven, bonding with other mom over advantages of having large cooler stocked with bite-size items in Ziploc.
Never should have listened to Mom. Or guidance counselor. Or Gerry, the ex-guidance counselor. They all told me to volunteer, like being the student council VP and then P wasn't enough. End result: I cleaned out streams. I collected donated books. I tutored at elementary school. I nearly joined the Girl Scouts to get into a good college. Insane concept, as I am too old to wear uniforms and badges, not that I had any badges yet, which would have been really embarrassing. Would have been oldest living Brownie, and though I have a few camping skills, like rolling up my sleeping bag, and gathering firewood, I am lousy at camp songs and cannot cook a marshmallow without singeing my hair.
What was I thinking when I decided to go away to college? What was I thinking when I said, "Hey, okay, Wisconsin!" I even went for a tour, which should have given me time to think. But no. Must have been in a dairy-induced daze. just because they served free Starbucks Frappuccinos on the plane and got my vegan/vegetarian/non-chicken meal right, I took that as a sign. A flight attendant with frosted blond hair and an attitude about me having a special request meal gives me a stupid egg-free, gluten-free cookie...and I make a major life decision based on that? Am I that insane?
Anyway, that's beside the point. It's all beside the point. The point is that I am here at Cornwall Falls College.
Getting here was so weird. Little sign outside; Rankin Hall. Crowded parking lot. We walked up the stairs and I was wondering if Mary Jo would be here yet. Nervous about meeting her. Have never had a roommate except for Alison, and sisters don't count. Wondered if I'd filled out my housing questionnaire right, if there was such a thing as a right answer to "Hobbies You Enjoy."
What about "Hobbies You Don't Enjoy"? Why don't they ever ask the important questions?
Anyway, we wandered down the hall looking for 326. Very crowded. Lots of parents, lots of microwaves and computer boxes and trunks, lots of girls looking either ecstatic or terrified. I kept saying "Hi," like an automaton. Hi, hi, hi. Then suddenly we were at room 326.
I peeked around the comer. Mary Jo was standing on her bed, putting up a Faith Hill poster. Which would add to the 10 million other things she already had on the wall: barn print, family portrait, Leann Rimes calendar, and 3 different "Precious Moments" posters with uplifting sayings and supposedly cute photos of kittens and puppies.
Mrs. Johannsen was scrubbing built-in dresser and closet with toxic cleaning product. No oxygen in room.
Mr. Johannsen was creating new furniture, putting up shelves, hammering nails into concrete, with plaster pieces crumbling to the floor which was covered with giant red University of Wisconsin rug.
"Um. Hi?" I said.
Everyone totally dropped what they were doing and turned around. Mary Jo smiled as Mom and her parents shook hands and exchanged fascinating news of trip, highway route, weather. Mary Jo said she hoped I didn't mind if she kind of got the place settled -- she left all this wall space for me, and if I wanted to change beds or anything, that was completely fine, etc. Very sweet and polite. I was looking around this tiny room trying to imagine how I could make it look remotely like a place I lived when suddenly this crowd of tall blond boys came rushing at me. Thought it was some fraternity reference when Mary Jo mentioned "brothers." Then I remembered there are no frats here, and realized these were her actual...
Wurst Case Scenario. Copyright � by Catherine Clark. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Meet the Author
Catherine Clark is the author of Maine Squeeze, Love and Other Things I'm Bad At, Picture Perfect, Wish You Were Here, The Alison Rules, Unforgettable Summer, and many others. She lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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This is now one of my favorite books.Catherine Clark kept my on the edge of my seat, but she kept me laughing. Courtney 'VD' Smith is such a funny character, I couldn't put it down! READ!
This book was truly amazing! I read it in less than 24 hours! Catherine Clark is an awesome writer and should be very proud of this book! It's so funny, and romantic, and sometimes, even sad. I'd give this book more than 5 stars if I could.
This book (and the first book, Truth or Dairy) is a really great book! I loved it, this book and the 1st book were so filled with emotion, I cried during the first, and laughed all the way through the funny parts! I really, really hope that the author comes out with a third book, I will be so disapointed if she doesn't! Love always, and peace out!
It is an amazing book. It kept me turning the pages wanting more. In this book Courtney V.D. (not to be confused with the STD) Smith is now at Cornwall Fall College wishing she was not. And where is Grant? 1,000 miles away in Colarado. It starts out with her sadness, but progresses. You get to see the crazy people of this town. And her vegatarinism is not helping much. Not mention that her roomate and her take forever to get along. Oh, and she has to deal with a school whos intials just happen to be C-F-C. As is in CFC that affect the ozone. Then ending however is very rewarding yet a little sad, you want more. And I hope Catherine Clark gives us more.