X-Rated Bloodsuckers (Felix Gomez Series #2)

X-Rated Bloodsuckers (Felix Gomez Series #2)

3.9 29
by Mario Acevedo
     
 

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Felix has survived Operation Iraqi Freedom, being turned into a vampire, and a ravenous horde of nymphomaniacs. Now he faces his toughest task ever -- navigating the corrupt world of Los Angeles politics to solve the murder of a distinguished young surgeon turned porn star. But both human and vampire alike have reasons to want the secret to stay buried. . .

Overview

Felix has survived Operation Iraqi Freedom, being turned into a vampire, and a ravenous horde of nymphomaniacs. Now he faces his toughest task ever -- navigating the corrupt world of Los Angeles politics to solve the murder of a distinguished young surgeon turned porn star. But both human and vampire alike have reasons to want the secret to stay buried. . .

Editorial Reviews

Booklist
“Raymond Chandler could never have imagined an L.A. like this, where hard-boiled, private-eye vampires fight crime, as well as commit a few during lunch breaks.”
The Barnes & Noble Review
In Mario Acevedo's follow-up to his delightfully irreverent 2006 debut, The Nymphos of Rocky Flats, undead private detective Felix Gomez is faced with his wildest -- and deadliest -- case to date: solving the brutal murder of a renowned porn star with more than a few enemies.

A veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, Gomez went to the Middle East a soldier and came back a vampire. Now he's working as a private investigator and using his newfound abilities (reading people's auras, hypnotism, superhuman strength, etc.) to aid him with his cases. Based in Denver, Gomez is shocked by a visit from an erotic film actress named Katz Meow, who lives and works almost 1,000 miles away in the San Fernando Valley. Referred to Gomez through a mysterious acquaintance, Meow offers the Chicano P.I. $100,000 to help solve the murder of her best friend and partner, Roxy Bronze (the star of the infamous Super-Vixen Skank Fest, Volume Eight). With a laundry list of potential suspects -- a sleazy porn producer, a spurned ex-husband, an unscrupulous councilwoman, and a shady televangelist, to name a few -- Gomez accepts the lucrative case and travels to the West Coast, where he slowly begins making inroads: that is, until he crosses paths with a highly territorial SoCal vampire clan…

For fans of genre-blending sagas -- like Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, Charlie Huston's Joe Pitt novels, and Simon R. Green's Nightside sequence -- who enjoy the mélange of mystery and fantasy, Acevedo's novels are an absolute must-read. Equal parts Raymond Chandler, Anne Rice, and Hugh Hefner, these laugh-out-loud-funny, darkly absurdist, and downright addictive novels will makes a fan out of anyone who reads them. The titles say it all… Paul Goat Allen
Publishers Weekly

Hard-boiled action mixes with soft-core titillation in Acevedo's second novel featuring soldier– turned–vampire PI Felix Gomez (after 2006's The Nymphos of Rocky Flats), who's approached by porn actress Katz Meow to investigate the murder of her colleague Roxy Bronze. Before you can say XXX, Felix is off to California's San Fernando Valley and up to his fangs in intrigue implicating a vampire producer of adult films, a sham evangelist, a power-hungry local politician and the Araneum, the secret vampire hierarchy tasked with stamping out unorthodox human-vampire interactions. Felix endures the usual silver bullets and garlic, as well as several very human double crosses and miscalculations, before the story speeds to an unlikely conclusion that exposes a somewhat unconvincing villain. The novel's true appeal lies in its zippy banter and witty repartee on vampire lifestyle, particularly in Felix's ongoing partnership with Coyote, a low-rent vamp from the barrio. Acevedo has a natural flare for the hard-boiled idiom, and readers who enjoyed Felix's first adventure will find this follow-up equally entertaining. (Mar.)

Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780061438875
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
01/29/2008
Series:
Felix Gomez Series, #2
Edition description:
Reprint
Pages:
352
Product dimensions:
4.18(w) x 6.75(h) x 0.88(d)

Read an Excerpt

X-Rated Bloodsuckers


By Mario Acevedo

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2007 Mario Acevedo
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780060833275

Chapter One

"It's about murder," said Katz Meow.

Murder? I had trouble accepting the premise from such pillowy and succulent red lips.

I gave Katz the vampire once-over. A quick study of her eyes, the portals to a human's consciousness. Mascara clumped her eyelashes, making them seem like ragged penumbras around the shiny blue marbles of her irises. Her high-boned cheeks were round and perfect.

My gaze dropped to her neck, and I studied the hollows between the tendons of her throat, marking the choicest spot to sink my fangs and tap her jugular.

Should I fang her, there could be one of three outcomes.

If I only sucked her blood, I could modulate which of the enzymes in my saliva flowed back through the punctures. These enzymes deepened vampire hypnosis and could induce permanent amnesia, and make her swoon with orgasmic pleasure or writhe in searing pain.

If I sucked too much blood, I would kill her.

Or should our blood commingle after the fanging—especially through an open-mouth kiss as was done to me years ago—then she'd be damned to walk the earth as a vampire.

The low collar of her dress arced like a smile across her voluptuous cleavage. My eyes went back to hers, lingering for an instant in fleeting lust.

Morning sunlight illuminated my office.

Sunblock and makeup covered my translucent complexion. Katz didn't know I was a vampire. Humans couldn't know. They must never know. Superstition and skepticism protect us, the undead. The moment humans discovered we exist, they would hunt us down. Those vampires the humans didn't exterminate would be imprisoned and dissected. I had to be careful what cases I accepted as an undead private detective.

Katz fidgeted in the leather chair facing my desk, as if she sensed my wariness.

"Whose murder?" I asked.

Katz wrung her hands, the manicured white-tipped fingernails crisscrossing. "My friend Roxy Bronze."

"Never heard of her."

Katz reached into the large Gucci handbag—real or knockoff—resting by her ankle. Gold bracelets jangled from her wrist as she offered me a plastic DVD case.

The cover of the DVD showed Katz and a statuesque brunette, holding each other by the waist. Both wore matching black bikini bottoms and bolero vests, and stood on clear plastic stiletto slut pumps. They had wanton grins as lurid as what the DVD title blared in fluorescent green letters: Super-Vixen Skank Fest, Volume Eight. Printed across their respective muscular thighs were their names: Katz Meow and Roxy Bronze.

Katz brushed a tangle of blond hair from her forehead and looked away. She tapped one of her wooden-soled clogs against the oak floor.

The reverse side of the DVD case was a collage of Ms. Meow and Ms. Bronze in what looked like a high-impact version of the Kama Sutra as they played together, with other women and sex toys, and an assortment of men with amazingly large penises.

I flipped the DVD over and examined the cover again. My gaze traced across Roxy Bronze's face. The narrow bridge of her nose, the pronounced dimples in her cheeks, a chin tapering to a neat point—this last detail emphasized the elongated outline of her face. Her smile curved up in a pronounced U, exposing a neat row of porcelain white teeth.

Roxy looked familiar. But from where? Maybe I had seen her picture somewhere else.

I handed the DVD to Katz.

Katz took the case and dropped it into her bag.

My mind held the images of Katz and Roxy screwing like farm animals. "You're a . . ."

She finished the sentence for me. "An erotic film actress."

Fancy way of saying she nuzzled crotches for a living. When receiving new clients, I was tempted to read their auras, since they betrayed much about what humans think. Auras were more expressive than facial gestures. But special contacts covered my eyes, hiding the tapetum lucidum—the mirrorlike retinas vampires share with other nocturnal predators—so I was out of luck. The contacts allowed me to appear human, though at the cost of diminishing my night vision and losing my ability to read auras and hypnotize prey at will.

"You live in L.A.?" I asked. We were in my Denver office, a long way from California.

"Yes, the Valley."

"What valley?"

Katz smirked. "San Fernando."

Of course. The San Fernando Valley was to porn what Maine was to lobster fishing. "Katz Meow is your stage name, I take it."

"It is."

"And your real name?"

"Katz Meow is my real name."

"Where were you born? A pet store?"

She sighed and said, "My real name is Wilma Pettigrew. I'm originally from Shelbyville, Indiana."

I didn't blame her for changing names. Katz Meow conjured silk lingerie and Porsches. Wilma Pettigrew, gingham aprons and Buicks. "Ms. Pettigrew, where did—"

"Please, Felix," she interrupted, "Mr. Gomez, I mean, don't call me Ms. Pettigrew. I hate that name." Her voice took on a flat, nasal quality, as if the mention of Wilma Pettigrew took her from Southern California and back to her midwestern neighborhood. "I'm Katz. Katz Meow. Ms. Meow. But never Wilma Pettigrew."

I acknowledged her request with a nod. "Very well . . . Ms. Meow, where did this murder take place?"

"L.A.," she said. "Hollywood, to be specific."

"And you've come to Denver. You couldn't find someone out there willing to take the case?"

Katz held her gaze on me.

"Or that you trusted?"

-"It's both," she replied.

"What about the police? There had to be an investigation."

"There were cops and paperwork, a real dog and pony show. They said it was probably a holdup gone bad, claiming Roxy was at the wrong place at the wrong time. But I know their story was a sham."

"What makes you sure?"

Katz's voice sharpened. "Roxy had enemies. Powerful enemies."

What kind of enemies could a porn star have? A jealous lover? Drug dealer? A mobster pimp? Any one of these was an easy mark for the police or a young district attorney eager to add a scalp to their trophy belt. Perhaps the problem was that Katz couldn't let go of the tragedy.



Continues...

Excerpted from X-Rated Bloodsuckers by Mario Acevedo Copyright © 2007 by Mario Acevedo. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Mario Acevedo is the bestselling author of The Nymphos of Rocky Flats, X-Rated Bloodsuckers, The Undead Kama Sutra, and Jailbait Zombie. He lives and writes in Denver, Colorado.

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X-Rated Bloodsuckers (Felix Gomez Series #2) 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 28 reviews.
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KarmaLyzedKittie More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed the first installment and took a break before this one due to I wanted to put off the usual letdown that comes with a follow-up. SURPRISE.....didn't get let down at all. When I finished this one, I instantly started on #3.
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MBeem More than 1 year ago
Just so-so, but if you have a two hour plane ride ahead of you it is entertaining. Writing isn't particularly good or accomplished but I really didn't have that expectation from the title.
BigBoyd More than 1 year ago
It is a great read. Definitely moves fast. Make a good escapism afternoon.
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t0ny More than 1 year ago
i thought this was a good book. its a great book for teens as well
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brian_b More than 1 year ago
I have read all of the authors books and they are good for a rainy day or light read.
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