Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind

Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind

4.3 13
by Michael J. Bradley
     
 

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Now in paperback! Here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults. Now in paperback! Here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident,

Overview

Now in paperback! Here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults. Now in paperback! Here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults. Now in paperback, here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Bradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 percent of the brain develops in early childhood, the most advanced parts aren't completed until adolescence is nearly over. As a result, teens can appear unstable, dysfunctional and unpredictable, with temporarily impaired judgment and decision-making processes. In addition, Bradley argues, contemporary culture further challenges teens' thinking capabilities; the prevalence of sex, drugs and violence makes the teen's job of cognitive balancing even more precarious. The good news is that parents do make a difference, and Bradley clearly explains how parents can encourage and guide their kids through these tumultuous years. Stressing that teens are still "children," Bradley encourages parents to respond like "dispassionate cops," teaching and remaining calm even when teens behave outrageously. While Bradley's prose which he admits might be shocking and offensive at times may be initially off-putting to some, the book is compelling, lively and realistic. Using crisp, believable anecdotes that are alternately poignant and hysterically funny (while avoiding generic examples, jargon or psychobabble), Bradley homes in on real-life scenarios, showing parents, for instance, how to respond when their teen is "raging," and how to set curfews and limits. Bradley draws a vivid picture of what the teen is going through, and gives parents the tools to tackle contemporary issues together. An invaluable parachute to parents diving into the teen years. (Sept.) Forecast: A $100,000 marketing campaign, a 10-city author tour, the recent widespread media coverage of related neurological data and aboveall, the need for sensible, funny books on raising teenagers all bode well for this book's sales. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Children's Literature
Every adult with a middle school child should read this book. Written in conversational style, Dr. Bradley presents a myriad of stories of adolescents and their parents who have struggled to work their way through the tumultuous teen years. Presented in three parts, the first is descriptive of adolescents and recent research showing how the brain works and changes during this growth period. Part two relates this new research with parental behavior. Succinctly, get over the fact that your sweet child no longer exists, look at how your behaviors and personality can affect your child, and examine the influences and challenges of family parenting whether is be as a team, single parent, divorced or blended. Third, Bradley does offer the carrot on the stick, the hope that by abandoning your preconceived ideas of parenting and learning new skills, you can effectively navigate through your child's adolescence to young adulthood. Here he offers sound advice for rule-making and enforcement, problem-solving strategies, rage, drugs, sex and seeking outside help. He emphasizes that there is no one "fix" to make the upcoming years sail smoothly and speedily past, but that treating this time with a sense of humor and new parenting skills will allow you and your teen to be survivors. 2001, Harbor Press, $19.95. Ages Adult. Reviewer: Mary Sue Preissner
VOYA
The only job tougher than being a teenager is being the parent of a teenager. Between their peers and popular culture, today's teens need more support than ever to become successful, thriving adults. This earnestly written and well-organized book is a must-have manual that highlights strategies to cope with the challenges of raising a modern teen. Bradley dispels the myths and insecurities parents have with humorous, casual ease:"Terrible jobs can be great antidotes to those discussions of the irrelevance of school. Chop onions for 10 hours and then tell me how stupid school is." Divided into three sections, the book makes readers aware of the common challenges teens face in part one, along with discussions on Internet insanity and distinguishing normal behavior from unusual acting-out behavior. In the second part, Bradley outlines advice on how to parent effectively in the face of such challenges, from modeling appropriate values and behaviors to respecting their space and choices. Parents in every domestic structure—married, single, or blended—will appreciate the author's sensitivity in addressing the unique concerns of each. Bradley outlines the Ten Commandments of parenting a teen—including Thou Shalt Apologize Often—and how to set up and enforce rules, and provides advice on administering consequences, not punishments. Excellent features include actual parent anecdotes, critical dos and don'ts, and a suggested reading list for specific issues from anger to eating disorders. This honest, comprehensive book of strategies will benefit anyone currently interacting with teens, personally or professionally. Index. Further Reading. 2001, Harbour Press, 342p, $19.95.Ages Adult. Reviewer:Beth Gilbert—VOYA, December 2001 (Vol. 24, No. 5)
Library Journal
For parents who have tried everything but still have teens who are out of control, Bradley's Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! is a funny, blunt, and reassuring book. Philadelphia psychologist Bradley approaches the subject from the viewpoint that teens are, well, a little nuts; using current brain research, he points out that the most sophisticated parts of the mind are not developed until the end of adolescence ergo, the acting out, mood swings, ADHD, depression, suicide, anorexia, etc. The basic premise is that parents are still the most influential force in their kids' lives and that the old rules of parenting are not only unhelpful but destructive. Adults must take the blame for ignoring rampant alcohol addictions among teens, allowing sex to saturate culture so much that kids don't even know what intimacy and commitment are, and believing that raising children in 2001 can be easy. Rejecting peer pressure as an excuse for unacceptable behaviors, Bradley distinguishes between "normal" and "insane." One chapter describes negotiation, decision-making, and the enforcement of rules; another deals with the new phenomenon of teen rage and how to survive it. Overall, the message is that kids can become fine people even if they screw up a lot, and you need to play the parent, not the cool confidante. Therapist and professor Sells (Savannah State Univ.; Treating the Tough Adolescent) deals with teens whose behavior falls into the realm of "insanity": kids who are enraged, push buttons endlessly, steal, ditch school, use drugs or get pregnant, and defy authority in general. Good, well-meaning parents, he notes, are worn out, and these families need immediate help. Sells's approach is all "how-to": he provides seven basic steps, backed up with lists of strategies in the "What do I do if..." mode. These steps will empower parents to regain authority, bring families out of deep trouble, and begin to restore the love parents and teens once held for each other. Sells's extensive work and research with teens and parents is evident. Both books are excellent choices for public libraries. Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780936197432
Publisher:
Harbor Press, Inc.
Publication date:
01/28/2002
Pages:
300
Product dimensions:
6.24(w) x 9.26(h) x 1.17(d)

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Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Good grief. As I read this, I saw myself and my son...sometimes in not so wonderful ways. But always productive. This book gave me ways of understanding and dealing with my teen that have been wonderful. Is life perfect here? No. But is life 94% better? You better believe it. I recommend this book 100%. You won't regret buying it and reading it. Life with a teenager is much more healthy and enjoyable after reading it. Teens even understand you and family life more after reading it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I've read this book completely through and twice more I've read all my highlighted sections. It gives you a new way of looking at your teen...a way to look at them with love again and why it's so important that you do so. It's a new perspective on how to handle all the crazyness and stay sane yourself. A must read for parents with teenagers!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I have read dozens of parenting books over the 13 years of my teen's life. This is the BEST I've ever read. It give medical, practical and logical advice for dealing with normal teenage craziness. It helped me to realize that my teen wasn't 'bad' but normal. It gave me concrete advice for how to anticipate and deal with all of the issues we parents of teens face. It gave me hope and spoke to my insecurities. More importantly, the advice WORKS! I highly recommend this book for all parents of teens, whether you are having problems or not.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Awesome book, not only for me but my children as well. Author explains exactly what I havn't been able to put into words for the longest time! Very informative!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is the best parenting book I have ever read...and I have read more than a few. This is a must read for anyone looking for sensible advice from someone who knows how you feel. It will help you to help your child and restore your faith in yourself as a parent. Get it now!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Three pages in, I felt my frustration and anger being replaced by a wave of compassion for my son. The insights we gained from reading this had immediate and positive effects. Clearly written, easily absorbed. I've recommended it to dozens of people and everyone agrees. It was life-changing for us. Don't battle through the teen years. Read this book and learn how to get back to loving your teens.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
The author was writing about my son and about me. I actually cried tears of relief to think that someone actually UNDERSTANDS what we have been going through. Not only does the author understand, his many clients have experienced the same emotions. I am not a failure as a parent! There is hope for our relationship and love is the key. If you have a teenager, you must read this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Before reading this review, you should know that this book contains language and subjects that would cause it to exceed an ¿R¿ rating if it were a motion picture. These vulgarities, sexual references, and violence are essential to the book¿s content. The author also apologizes for the need to employ them. If your teenager had a serious case of the flu, you would be sympathetic and helpful. When the same teenager acts in ways you disagree with, are you inclined to be unsympathetic and challenging? Dr. Bradley argues in this intriguing book that your reaction should be very similar. Both are usually natural occurrences of body dysfunctions from which your teen will recover. Although that may sound like a psychological metaphor, Dr. Bradley points out that research with MRIs shows that the growth of the corpus callosum (which coordinates cross-brain functions) and development of the prefrontal cortex (which civilizes responses that the ¿old brain¿ stimulates) are both occurring during the teenage years. Until those brain developments are more complete, your teen will react in bizarre ways that she or he will be unable to explain. I found that way of thinking about teenage behavior to be fascinating. My own description of the teenage years experienced by our children was that boys¿ behavior generally went downhill until age 13 when it bottomed out, to begin gradually improving thereafter. For girls, the decline in behavior seemed to begin around 13, and started to improve after age 20. Dr. Bradley points out that teens have always been like this. So what has changed? ¿We¿ve created a world dripping with sex, drugs, and violence and plunked our temporarily insane children in the middle of it.¿ Parents often treat their teens as though they can handle it. ¿The fact is that cannot handle `it¿ and they know this.¿ ¿Teens left on their own as small adults not only . . . [make serious mistakes], they become depressed and rageful in the bargain.¿ Dr. Bradley¿s descriptions of the increased exposure to these influences on television, at home, in school, and with friends will leave you convinced that we have a more toxic environment for today¿s teenagers. He cites many case histories and statistics to make his points very compelling. The solution is for parents to change, and become a more positive influence on their teens. I was especially moved by his observation that parents need to stop mourning for their younger, happy, well-behaved child who will not return any time soon. He offers ten commandments for being a good parent: (1) Behave and think dispassionately; (2) Listen well and support emotionally; (3) Say little in a pleasant way; (4) Take the time you need to make an appropriate response; (5) Forget your personal pride in finding a response; (6) Avoid being physical, even friendly gestures can be annoying to teens; (7) Apologize for anything you have done wrong; (8) Accept the identity your teen is trying out; (9) Be true to your own beliefs; and (10) Remember that all this will eventually pass. The book offers excellent guidance on rule-setting and enforcement that are similar to what worked well with our now grown-up teens. The book also has sections on how to deal with common problems like privacy, angry teens, drugs, sex and dating, family problems, discussing legal versus illegal drugs. You are also given a sense of what is normal and abnormal behavior related to acting out, depression, eating disorders, and suicide risk. For any hint of abnormal behavior, get professional help fast (apparently 19% of teens have given serious thought to how they would commit suicide, and the depressed teens are not the ones most at risk). You are also given good ideas for how to get teens to professional help. One of the best parts of this section is pointing out how two parents should cooperate (if you and your spouse are together) and single parents can best cope. Dr. Bradley also