You Can Be Anything!: From A to Z

You Can Be Anything!: From A to Z

5.0 7
by Sarah Montague
     
 
Amy is Adopted. Her real parents didn't want her so they gave her away to go live with strangers. Are you a good girl?!

Thus begins Sarah Montague’s hilariously perverse You Can Be Anything! From A to Z. Like a fiendish rebuttal to Oh, the Places You'll Go! penned by the gene-spliced spawn of Charles Addams and Edward Gorey, this alphabetical anthology

Overview

Amy is Adopted. Her real parents didn't want her so they gave her away to go live with strangers. Are you a good girl?!

Thus begins Sarah Montague’s hilariously perverse You Can Be Anything! From A to Z. Like a fiendish rebuttal to Oh, the Places You'll Go! penned by the gene-spliced spawn of Charles Addams and Edward Gorey, this alphabetical anthology reveals the dark side of adulthood in twenty-six pitch-perfect, deadpan scenarios. It’s the perfect book for the genuinely jaded.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780375507823
Publisher:
Random House Publishing Group
Publication date:
04/16/2002
Edition description:
1ST
Pages:
64
Product dimensions:
4.98(w) x 7.12(h) x 0.41(d)

Read an Excerpt

Amy is Adopted. Her real parents didn't want her so they gave her away to go live with strangers. Are you a good girl?!

Bill is Born Again. He will not shut up about Jesus and the Bible, and no matter what you say he smiles and shakes his head in condescending sympathy for your poor lost soul because when he's in heaven with Jesus and the angels and all the ice cream he can eat, you will be burning in hell. Do you like going to church?!

Clarence works at the Cemetery. His fancy for dead animals as a child blossomed into a fine career working as the gravedigger and caretaker at the finest cemetery in town. It also keeps him occupied just enough to prevent him from actually becoming a serial killer. Do you ever wonder where the dead people live?!

Dana is a Drinker. She use to have a lot of friends. Now she drinks cheap wine at home and annoys people by calling them at inappropriate times, slurring her words, repeating herself, and then forgetting about it the next day. Do you like taking sips of your parents' cocktails?!

Evan is an engineer. He always got straight A's in school and excelled in subjects like math and biology. Even is usually rejected socially because of his greasy hair and thick glasses. Do you wear glasses?!

Copyright 2002 by Sarah Montague

Meet the Author

Sarah Montague is a native Californian. She currently lives in New York. She does not know how to cook.

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You Can Be Anything! 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is HILARIOUS. Buy it if you want a book that will make you laugh out loud.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I love this book so much that the first thing that I did was turn to 'K' to see if I (and my affliction) were listed! I wonder how many others did this? This book is my favorite 'quick and easy gift' of choice. I wonder if it's inappropriate for my 8 year old niece? Just kidding... really...
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is the perfect graduation gift for anyone heading out into the 'real world!' Give this book to everyone you know who is graduating, or even contemplating graduate school - it is anything but 'anti-inspirational.' Sarah Montague's dark humor and unique perspective on career options will resonate with everyone, and have you laughing out loud before you even checkout.
Guest More than 1 year ago
What can I say? The simple fact of the matter is that this book is delightfully truthful and packed with the wit and humor I, personally, have always searched for in reading. You Can Be Anything!: A-Z is a spiffy gift idea for teachers or graduation. I was, and still am, very pleased with my product.
Guest More than 1 year ago
If you don't know one of the characters in this seriously funny book, then you probably ARE one. Buy it and read it!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Hilarious, dark, inventive little truths about everyday and not-so-everyday lives. Imagine Gorey meeting David Sedaris to talk about the neighbors, the people at work, and the guy who digs graves down at the cemetery and you get a hint of the spells that Sarah Montague is casting here. Ideally, she¿ll be delivering many more twisted tomes. In the meantime, devour 'You Can Be Anything!' as slowly as possible, starting again as soon as you reach the end.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I loved this hardy little gem! Humorous, original yet immediately familiar, and with a touch of darkness that felt close to home. And the drawings are a great touch! I look forward to dusting this one off and paging through it again and again!