Gift Guide

"You Can Tell Just By Looking": And 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People

( 1 )
$11.76 price
(Save 26%)$16.00 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (19) from $4.66   
  • New (8) from $9.05   
  • Used (11) from $4.66   

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99 price
(Save 37%)$16.00 List Price

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
★ 09/02/2013
This rigorous book addresses 21 beliefs about LGBT people held by those in and out of the LGBT community. Academics Bronski (A Queer History of the United States), Pellegrini (Performance Anxieties), and Amico have two goals: to “dispel harmful, often hostile myths, stereotypes, and false assumptions about LGBT people” and to “explain what myths do, how they work and move in the world.” The authors examine terminology (“transgender,” “bisexual,” “LGBT”), statistics, research past and present, and cultural phenomena, to show how the American public frames, processes, and accepts or rejects the presence of LGBT individuals and communities through the construction of these foundational myths. What emerges is a disturbing picture of the ways in which research, language, and media are contorted to suit pro- or anti-LGBT agendas. As the authors note, “Our culture is pretty terrible at talking about sex and sexual pleasure,” and it flattens “the messiness of reality” through unexamined myth. This powerful book demands that we look more closely at the ways we move in and structure our society, and asks vital questions that will steer the culture toward justice and equality. (Oct.)
From the Publisher
"This powerful book demands that we look more closely at the ways we move in and structure our society, and asks vital questions that will steer the culture toward justice and equality." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

"This groundbreaking book is rich in smart, stirring, and forthright examinations of myths, negative and positive, and clarifying examples, and holds to scholarly standards while compellingly and revealingly addressing the curiosity and concerns of mainstream readers." —Booklist

“One of the most complete sourcebooks about science, sociology and LGBT life out there.” —PopMatters

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780807042458
  • Publisher: Beacon
  • Publication date: 10/1/2013
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 563,436
  • Product dimensions: 8.30 (w) x 5.50 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

Michael Bronski
Michael Bronski

Michael Bronski is the author of Culture Clash: The Making of Gay Sensibility and The Pleasure Principle: Sex, Backlash, and the Struggle for Gay Freedom. He has edited and contributed to many anthologies, has had essays published throughout the world, and teaches and lectures widely. He lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents


Part 1: Living in the World
Myth 1: You Can Tell Who’s Gay Just by Looking
Myth 2: About 10 Percent of People Are Gay or Lesbian
Myth 3: All Transgender People Have Sex-Reassignment Surgery

Part 2: Cause and Effect
Myth 4: Sexual Abuse Causes Homosexuality
Myth 5: Most Homophobes Are Repressed Homosexuals
Myth 6: Transgender People Are Mentally Ill
Myth 7: Homosexuals Are Born That Way

Part 3: Troublemakers
Myth 8: LGBT Parents Are Bad for Children
Myth 9: Same-Sex Marriage Harms Traditional Marriage
Myth 10: All Religions Condemn Homosexuality
Myth 11: Gay Rights Infringe on Religious Liberty
Myth 12: People of Color Are More Homophobic Than White People

Part 4: It’s Just a Phase
Myth 13: Lesbians Do Not Have Real Sex
Myth 14: All Bisexual Men Are Actually Gay; All Bisexual Women Are Actually Straight
Myth 15: Transgender People Are Gay
Myth 16: There’s No Such Thing as a Gay or Trans Child

PART 5: Struggling in the World

Myth 17: Positive Visibility in the Media Increases Tolerance and Acceptance of LGBT People
Myth 18: Coming Out Today Is Easier Than Ever Before
Myth 19: Antidiscrimination Laws in the United States Protect LGBT People
Myth 20: Hate Crime Laws Prevent Violence against LGBT People
Myth 21: Getting Tested on a Regular Basis Helps Prevent the Spread of HIV


Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Posted October 7, 2013

    A punchy motto for this informative and provocative exploration

    A punchy motto for this informative and provocative exploration of LGBT myths might be, Get real!

    "'You Can Tell Just By Looking' And 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People" explores a wide range of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans myths, both pernicious and affirmative, including how they have evolved, and what they mean for people's lives today. It also highlights the effectiveness of combining empirical "reality-based" evidence along with our personal experiences.

    The authors -- Michael Bronski (Dartmouth, Harvard), Ann Pellegrini (New York University), and Michael Amico (Yale) -- bring a formidable background to this book, drawing on both their community involvement and academic achievements. They deftly employ the social sciences, history, literature, mainstream culture, religion and more, to separate fantasy from LGBT people's actual lives. The book scrutinizes a host of LGBT myths, in its 21 concise and clearly-written chapters. It's geared for a general audience, who will find a wealth of factual information, nuanced analyses, and goads to discussion. Not to mention some witty eclecticism.

    To take one example, the introduction's first page encompasses an overview of the book's themes, by way of gay history, in the guise of Lord Alfred Douglas (Oscar Wilde's fair-weather boyfriend), pop culture via Lady Gaga, and straight allies who can even be found in the NFL with linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo. It also pairs up Douglas's famous quotation about homosexuality as "the love that dare not speak its name," with the latter day quip that it's now, thankfully, "the love that won't shut up."

    You may be wondering, What's so bad about myths? Like pollen in August, they're everywhere.

    As the authors point out in the introduction, myths, however appealing and ingrained, also have a pernicious side. They unthinkingly uphold the status quo to the detriment of social progress; erase the real differences -- and sometimes similarities -- between people; project uncomfortable issues onto an out group such as LGBT people; and stop rational discussion since 'everybody knows that [fill in the blank].' As the authors write, myths "cannot explain away underlying anxieties; they actually feed on them," and yet they help us "negotiate the messiness of personal and cultural histories that shape how we live and understand our lives. In this way, all myths express some kind of truth." Some people fear splitting open myths, seeing the endeavor as anarchic; but this book shows us that in fact the process can be liberating, helping us come closer to our authentic selves and each other.

    Not all of the myths examined in the book are antigay; some dearly held progay beliefs are also dissected. Part V looks at the reality behind such wishful thinking as: increased media visibility makes LGBT people more accepted (so you can just sit back and relax), anti-discrimination and hate crimes laws "automatically" protect LGBT people and, perhaps most troubling of all, just getting tested for HIV "magically" helps prevent its spread. A major strength of the book is that the authors don't just toss out reality-based data to dispel myths. They look at why, and show us how, the myths took hold in the first place, and what basic needs they pretend to fill. Take sex.

    Wouldn't it be tidy if sexual orientation or gender could fit in a little box? As if. Statistically, it turns out that "straight" society reveals even more confusion and nervousness about sexuality than, on average, LGBTs. Part of that is our biological nature, all tangled up with cultural myths and our personal doubts. The authors strip away distortions from both anti- and pro-LGBT advocates, including self-proclaimed scientific researchers, some of whom bend findings to fit their particular agenda. They prove no less "objective" than, say, the self-defined heterosexual guy who gets off on erotic lesbian videos, but who then gives a resounding "Ditto!" to "Myth 13: Lesbians Do Not Have Real Sex," all the while knowing, first-hand, that there are many forms of sexual connection besides face-to-face male into female, but he'd rather brag to his macho BFFs about his "scores" than look at the (fascinatingly) complex dynamics of desire (myth-based self-deception is as tortured, and stereotype-laced, as this sentence, you betcha).

    Speaking of hetero- and other orientations, a key chapter is "Myth 2: About 10 Percent of People Are Gay or Lesbian," that looks at the contradictory ways in which LGBT people are classified and counted. Factoring in bisexuality, including temporary bisexual "phases," the actual percentage can swing anywhere from around 3% of the population to 50% or 60% or higher. The Kinsey Scale, still going strong after 65 years, runs from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual), with most people falling in between those two rare extremes. Getting even a numerical grip on sexual orientation can be hard, but then, what about sex is easy? OK, guffaws (revealing, aren't they?) over, let's continue.

    Our team of intrepid myth-busters covers an almost full range of LGBT issues and experiences in this brief book. I suspect that most readers will have their own nominees for additional topics to be covered; mine are the military, and class. However, the authors do touch on those themes, in the context of other matters. Throughout, the book judiciously cross-reference topics, even with those that get their own chapters, such as lesbianism, bisexuality and race. One essential thread concerns the most vulnerable LGBT population, young people, as we see in "Myth 4: Sexual Abuse Causes Homosexuality," "Myth 8: LGBT Parents Are Bad for Children," "Myth 16: There's No Such Thing as a Gay or Trans Child," and "Myth 18: Coming Out Today Is Easier Than Ever Before."

    Marriage equality is in the news daily, and this book contains the single best overview I've read anywhere. The authors succinctly cover all aspects, from its history to society-wide implications, in "Myth 9: Same-Sex Marriage Harms Traditional Marriage."

    Also outstanding was the discussion of what's shaping up as the new #1 anti-LGBT battlefront, so-called "religious freedom," parsed in "Myth 11: Gay Rights Infringe on Religious Liberty." As the authors clarify, religious freedom entails both a separation or "disestablishment" of church and state, that our Constitution guarantees (the reality is more jumbled), as well as the free exercise of religion for all. Homophobic religions (but as the authors point out, many religions are staunch LGBT allies) want the legal right to have their way with LGBTs, being able to fire them or deny services or disintegrate their families, all in the name of their narrow sectarian "morality." In the inclusive sense, "You Can Tell Just By Looking" argues that "Religious freedom, far from being the opposite of 'gay rights,' forms a necessary ground for LGBT equality and freedom. How people arrange their intimate relations and their gender identities involves important moral decision-making." Amen.

    Every reader will have their own unique response to this book, but here's one way that it helped me. Until recently, I had not understood the dimensions of trans experience. Fortunately, I've now had the opportunity to meet and listen to several transpeople; and this book further deepened my understanding by providing context, as in "Myth 3: All Transgender People Have Sex-Reassignment Surgery," "Myth 6: Transgender People Are Ment

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)