You Don't Have to Quit: 20 Science-Backed Strategies to Help Your Loved One Drink Less

by Maureen Palmer Narrated by Maureen Palmer

Overview

Help your loved one drink less, reduce your stress, save your relationship

In a world that glorifies alcohol-from signature cocktails to craft beer-helping a loved one with a drinking problem feels like a losing battle. You've begged, bargained, and demanded they stop, only to see consumption ramp up and your relationship break down. This approach enforces a vicious cycle of confrontation, shame, and more drinking. Author and filmmaker Maureen Palmer has been there, and she's found a better way.

In You Don't Have to Quit, Palmer shifts the conventional abstinence-only mindset to one that encourages positive change and harm reduction. She interviews world experts who've created successful tools, techniques, and resources to help reduce or stop drinking entirely. Her twenty practical, science-backed strategies operationalize compassion and empathy-and healthy boundaries-to help your loved one drink less.

With refreshing candor, Palmer shares her hard-won experience to debunk powerful myths that breed shame and secrecy and lead to relationship-killing conflict. This is the road map out of combat into collaboration and reduced consumption: harm reduction for the relationship too. Whether drinking less is a shared goal, or you want to influence your loved one in that direction, this book shows you how.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

In You Don’t Have to Quit, Maureen Palmer melds compassion with practicality, generosity of heart with common sense, loving intention with research-based, nuts-and-bolts workability.” —Gabor Maté, M.D., New York Times best-selling co-author of The Myth of Normal

“If you’ve ever been ashamed to admit your partner struggles with alcohol and even more ashamed to admit you help them, this book is for you. In You Don’t Have to Quit, Maureen Palmer delivers the modern, paradigm-shifting, evidence-based, shame- and judgment-free approach to help your loved one drink less. Mastering the tools in this book may help save your relationship and maybe even your loved one’s life.” —Gabrielle Glaser, New York Times best-selling author of Her Best Kept Secret

“With clarity, purpose, and invaluable personal experience, Maureen Palmer debunks myths around alcohol and provides a pragmatic guide on how to reduce drinking. By applying harm reduction to alcohol, You Don’t Have to Quit fills a massive void. It is a book that every problematic drinker’s friends and family will wish they had found sooner.” —Travis Lupick, Journalist and author of Light Up the Night

“Thank you, Maureen, for skillfully doing what so few take the time, heart, and compassion to do: speak to families about how to help. The stigma of substance use is a crushing weight for those loved ones who want nothing more than to help, and Maureen lays out effective, non-shaming solutions for our most powerful force for change—the family.” —Dr. Jeff Foote, Co-president and CEO of the CMC: Foundation for Change (CMC:FFC) and author of The Beyond Addiction Workbook for Family and Friends

“Imagine a future in which everyone understands alcohol use disorder as a treatable health condition, and everyone knows how to compassionately support those around them. Inside this well-researched and hopeful book, you’ll be amazed to discover that this future is entirely achievable. Right now.” —Heather Allen, Chief communications officer of the Canadian Alcohol Use Disorder Society

“If you love someone who is drinking too much, this easy-to-read and hopeful book is for you. Bolstered by research, it is full of practical advice and guidance from the best of sources: someone who has been there and understands.” —Angie Hamilton, Co-founder of Families for Addiction Recovery (FAR)

“Maureen Palmer writes with fierce compassion and personal conviction about supporting loved ones who struggle with alcohol use issues. Maureen (rightfully) questions the efficacy of trying to ‘make’ somebody quit drinking and instead illustrates that, with care and support, individuals can still heal and grow in the ‘liminal’ spaces between drinking, addiction, and abstinence.” —Dawn Nickel, Co-founder of SHE RECOVERS Foundation

“You Don’t Have to Quit is a reasoned, candid, and caring alcohol addiction resource that proposes radical new approaches to recovery.” —Meg Nola, Foreword Clarion Reviews

“Palmer demonstrates effective methods of communicating with partners about alcohol dependence through empathy, compassion, and an emphasis on results.” —Booklife (Publisher's Weekly)

“What makes her message so unique is the addition of permission: the permission for caregivers to believe, contrary to the dominant message that “people are powerless to change their loved one’s behavior,” that they can, indeed help.” —Blueink Review

Kirkus Reviews

2024-08-20
Documentary filmmaker Palmer, with addiction therapist Pond, presents a practical guide for helping loved ones drink less, informed by scientific research and firsthand experience.

Most addicts are familiar with 12-step programs, which offer a set of actions and principles meant to pave the way to recovery. For example, Alcoholics Anonymous encourages members to list people who’ve been negatively affected by their drinking and to seek amends. Meanwhile, the loved ones of addicts, in their own support groups, are often told to “withdraw with love” to counteract what’s often described as “codependent” or “enabling” behavior—two words that Palmer condemns as “blithely tossed about” in the world of addiction and recovery. She outlines what she characterizes as a tender approach, using 20 “practical, science-backed strategies that operationalize kindness, compassion, and empathy to help your loved one drink less.” Palmer wrote the book with her partner, Pond, an addiction therapist whose personal struggle with conventional recovery programs inspired this alternative approach. For instance, instead of working toward a goal of flat-out quitting, Palmer explores the benefits of harm reduction; instead of encouraging withdrawing with love, she makes a case for establishing firm boundaries, which, she says, allows addicts to take responsibility for their recovery. Supported by research from institutions such as Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, this plainspoken self-help guide offers a balance of personal and clinical reflection: “I can’t possibly teach you things that good therapists take years to learn,” Palmer writes, “but I can tell you about simple tools and techniques that can make your interactions with your loved one much less combative and much more effective.” Indeed, although the authors would agree that no one set of guidelines suits everyone, this book’s ethos may inspire readers to seek out more personalized methods of support.

A worthwhile book for readers looking for alternative ways to help those struggling with addiction.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940192062951
Publisher:	Macmillan Audio
Publication date:	10/08/2024
Edition description:	Unabridged

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