You Don't Know Me

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Overview

You think you know John? Well, let’s see . . .

What bathroom fixture did his father have in mind at his birth? What amphibian plagues John in band? Does algebra have a use, besides torture? Who or what is Lashasa Palulu? Who is Glory Hallelujah? Who is Violent Hayes? What do they want from John? If friends are people who like you, does John have any? Why do fools fall in love? If school is a place for learning, where does John go every day? How can anyone who’s fighting a secret battle for his life know anyone, really? And how can they know him?

Fourteen-year-old John creates alternative realities...

See more details below
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More About This Book

Overview

You think you know John? Well, let’s see . . .

What bathroom fixture did his father have in mind at his birth? What amphibian plagues John in band? Does algebra have a use, besides torture? Who or what is Lashasa Palulu? Who is Glory Hallelujah? Who is Violent Hayes? What do they want from John? If friends are people who like you, does John have any? Why do fools fall in love? If school is a place for learning, where does John go every day? How can anyone who’s fighting a secret battle for his life know anyone, really? And how can they know him?

Fourteen-year-old John creates alternative realities in his mind as he tries to deal with his mother's abusive boyfriend, his crush on a beautiful, but shallow classmate and other problems at school.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
John, the 14-year-old narrator of Klass's (Screen Test; Danger Zone) well-conceived novel, deals with not only universal teenage problems (escaping his algebra teacher's questions, working up the nerve to ask out his dream girl, whom he calls "Glory Hallelujah," fighting with a friend), he also must deal with his mother's boyfriend, whom John calls "the man who is not my father." The tyrant verbally and physically abuses him when his mother is not around, and John experiences a "meltdown" when he learns that the man plans to marry his mother. While people do care about JohnDa rather stereotypically sensitive music teacher and a likable girl from his band class, whom John calls "Violent" Hayes "because she appears to be trying to strangle her saxophone before it kills her"Deven they cannot convince John to reveal what's happening at home. John's narrative often addresses various characters directly (his mother's boyfriend, the music teacher, etc.) with wry internal thoughts; this approach plays up the alienation John feels and also conveys the teen's sardonic humor and intelligence. A few scenes are so outrageous and comical that they clash with the book's overall tone (e.g., when Glory Hallelujah's father hunts John and the girl down in the basement of her home). But most, such as when John first asks out Glory Hallelujah via note, instructing her to check either the "yes" or "no" box, are very grounded in the high school experience. The hero's underlying sense of isolation and thread of hope will strike a chord with nearly every adolescent. Ages 12-up. (Mar.) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
More Reviews (1) Fewer Reviews
From The Critics
The 14-year-old narrator describes the physical and emotional abuse he experiences from his mother's boyfriend in this "well-conceived novel," said PW. "The hero's underlying sense of isolation and thread of hope will strike a chord with nearly every adolescent." Ages 13-up. (Aug.)

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780064473781
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/28/2002
  • Pages: 352
  • Age range: 10 - 14 Years
  • Lexile: 0970L (what's this?)
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.12 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

David Klass is the author of many young adult novels, including Dark Angel and You Don’t Know Me. He is also a Hollywood screenwriter, having written more than twenty-five action screenplays, including Kiss the Girls, starring Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd, Walking Tall, starring The Rock, and Desperate Measures, starring Michael Keaton and Andy Garcia. Klass grew up in a family that loved literature and theater—his parents were both college professors and writers—but he was a reluctant reader, preferring sports to books. But he started loving the adventure stories his parents would bring home from the library—particularly Jack London, Robert Louis Stevenson and Alexandre Dumas. After his sister twice won a story contest in Seventeen magazine, Klass decided he would win it too, and when he was a senior in high school, he did, publishing his first story, “Ringtoss,” in the magazine. He studied at Yale University, where he won the Veech Award for Best Imaginative Writing. He taught English in Japan, and wrote his first novel, The Atami Dragons, about that experience. He now lives in New York with his wife and two small children.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

who I am not

You don't know me.

Just for example, you think I'm upstairs in my room doing my homework. Wrong. I'm not in my room. I'm not doing my homework. And even if I were up in my room I wouldn't be doing my homework, so you'd still be wrong. And it's really not my room. It's your room because it's in your house. I just happen to live there right now. And it's really not my homework, because my math teacher, Mrs. Moonface, assigned it and she's going to check it, so it's her homework.

Her name's not Mrs. Moonface, by the way. It's really Mrs. Garlic Breath. No it's not. It's really Mrs. Gabriel, but I just call her Mrs. Garlic Breath, except for the times when I call her Mrs. Moonface.

Confused? Deal with it.

You don't know me at all. You don't know the first thing about me. You don't know where I'm writing this from. You don't know what I look like. You have no power over me.

What do you think I look like? Skinny? Freckles? Wire-rimmed glasses over brown eyes? No, I don't think so. Better look again. Deeper. It's like a kaleidoscope, isn't it? One minute I'm short, the next minute tall, one minute I'm geeky, one minute studly, my shape constantly changes, and the only thing that stays constant is my brown eyes. Watching you.

That's right, I'm watching you right now sitting on the couch next to the man who is not my father, pretending to read a book that is not a book, waiting for him to pet you like a dog or stroke you like a cat. Let's be real, the man who is not my father isn't a very nice man. Not just because he is not my father but because he hits me when you're not around, and hesays if I tell you about it he'll really take care of me.

Those are his words. "I'll really take care of you, John. Don't rat on me or you'll regret it." Nice guy.

But I am telling you now. Can't you hear me? He's petting the top of your head like he would pet a dog, with his right hand, which just happens to be the hand he hits me with. When he hits me he doesn't curl his fingers up into a fist because that would leave a mark. He slaps me with the flat of his hand. WHAP. And now I'm watching him stroke your cheek with those same fingers. He holds me tight with his left hand when he hits me so that I can't run away. And now he's holding you tenderly with his left hand. And I'm telling you this as I watch through the window, but your eyes are closed and you couldn't care less, because he's stroking you the way he would stroke a cat and I bet you're purring.

You don't know me at all.

You think I'm a good student. Hah!

You think I have friends. Hah!

You think I'm happy with this life. Hah, hah!

Okay, now you're putting down the book that is not a book. It's a Reader's Digest condensation of literature, which is like drinking orange juice made from concentrate. It has no pulp. The key vitamins have been processed out. You're pressing your head against his shoulder. I can see your toes move inside your pink socks on the coffee table. What's with this toe movement? Is it passion or athlete's foot? There is some kind of serious itch there.

And now the man who is not my father puts down his book, which is a real book, because he's not a stupid or shallow man, just cruel and self-centered. He kisses you long and full on the lips, and then on the side of your neck. And you glance upstairs, nervously, because you think I'm up in my room doing my homework. You don't know that I'm floating twenty feet above our backyard, watching this display of misplaced affection.

No, I am not levitating. I do not have secret wings that allow me to fly. I am not a vampire. I am not hanging by my heels from the roof or clinging to a drainpipe.

So where am I?

You don't know me at all.

I'll give you this one. I'm in the apple tree, which is not an apple tree. The man who is not my father calls it an apple tree, but it has never produced a single thing resembling an apple. Nor has it produced a pear, so it is not a pear tree. Nor has it produced a pair of apples. Nor has it produced a pineapple, so it is clearly not a pineapple tree. The only thing I have ever seen it produce is thin gray leaves, so I will call it a gray-leaf tree.

That's where I am. Sitting in the gray-leaf tree. There's a full moon out tonight, so if I were a werewolf or a vampire I would be hungry or thirsty for flesh or blood. But I'm full with the gluey spaghetti and golf ball meatballs from dinner. The only effect the moon has on me is to make me think of Mrs. Moonface and my five pages of algebra homework that is really her homework, except that for some reason I'm the one who got stuck with it.

Mrs. Moonface assigns us so much homework because she is miserable and lonely. I wrote a poem to her. It's not a very good poem, but I don't really care. The first stanza goes like this:

Mrs. Moonface, get a life,

Get a nose ring, fly a kite,

Find a boyfriend, learn to ski,

Just stop taking it out on me.

The man who is not my father is switching off the lamp. Now our house is dark except for the light in my room, which is really not a room, where I am not doing homework.

Except that I am actually up there doing homework after all! Did you really think that I was up in the branches of an apple tree? Not necessary. You don't have to see things to know that they are happening. Anyway, I don't like climbing trees. It's a cold fall night. The wind is howling around our house like a live animal.

I finish the last algebra problem. Put down my pencil.

Downstairs I can hear the springs of the couch creaking. The man who is not my father is repeating your name, with passion in his voice. But it's not really your name, even though it belongs to you. It's really the name of his pretty first wife, Mona, who died in a car accident five years before he met you and decided to move into your house, and take on the duties of disciplining your son.

And now he is repeating your name and thinking of Mona.

And you are listening to him and thinking of my father.

And I am not in this house at all. I am in the middle of a hurricane. Thunder is cymbal-crashing above and beneath me. Lightning makes my hair stand up. Winds are spinning me like a top. Do you really think I will come down to breakfast tomorrow and call the man who is not my father sir? Do you think I will go to school tomorrow and hand in my homework to Mrs. Moonface? I won't even be in this hemisphere tomorrow. This storm could set me down anywhere.

You don't know where I'll end up.

The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future.

You don't know me at all...

You Don't Know Me. Copyright © by David Klass. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating 4.5
( 228 )

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  • Posted April 4, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

    i saw this book at the store and just the cover made me go "i need this book" i read the first 2 pages and was stunned.i was 13 when i got the book i'm about to be 16 now and i still love this book..i let one of my classmates read it and he too fell in love with the book and made me buy him a copy of it! my mom and uncle love this book too. It's an amazing book seriously. no one can say it's a horrible book if they don't read it.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 25, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    I was so suprised

    This book is soo good. I was just in Barnes N Nobles in the teen section (and I usually don't read teen books, more urban fiction if anything) when I came across this book. I was captivated by the cover because I have never seen a book cover like that before. When I read the cover I was like WOAH, and then I read about 20 pages into the book and I said I have to have it. I finished it by the next day, it's one of those books that you can't put down, and if you do you just pick it back up again. I love the way David Klass writes, it's funny, and silly, and I think that's what made the book so good. I would definitely recommend this to a friend, teen, or anyone that is going through or went through what the main character has been through. Buy it, read it, because it's worth it, and you won't be disappointed.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 9, 2009

    Just Read It

    I can't even explain how much I love this book. If you don't read it, you are missing out. That's all I can say.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2009

    Gotta read it.

    When I saw this IN MY SCHOOL LIBRARY, I thought... I gotta read this :)
    It looked absolutely ahhmazing. The writing was so well done, and so descriptive and I really learned who the main character was. I even got my brother into it. I say read this book :)

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This is definatly my most favorite book.

    I ADORE this book !! I think that john's mind is sooo fasinating, the writting is definatly original, I'm 13 and I recommend this book to parents and teens.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2008

    not really like the proffesional reviews

    I don't think the professional reviews were that good. Here is my review(i will try to make it short): John is a 14 year old boy abuised by the man his mother has chosen to love. John's story mainly takes place at his home that is not a home(explains in book) and anti-math(also explains in book) class and music class which is for a extra mandatory activity. He tells about his 'friends', and girls. John directs his story as if telling it to his mother(that will help you when you read it). Be willing to forget what he may have just said as it was only his imagination in some parts. I think you should read this as it is not a fast read but one you should be willing to re-read a paragraph to better understand it.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 27, 2003

    not awesome but ok!

    This book started out really good but as i kept going it got boring and i wasnt very attatched to it as much. This book wasnt awesome but it was okay.

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 13, 2002

    I do not understand why so many people enjoyed this title.

    As i read the book the pages seemed to get harder and harder to turn. It seems as if the book is about a poor child going through tough times, but I believe it is a cheesy book with the author trying to get the audience's affection for the main character. There were some parts I enjoyed however. I thought the beggining was a good introduction, but overall the book "didn't do it for me."

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2007

    Not very good.

    I found this very boring, and just..bad. Not worth the money I spent shipping it over.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2012

    Grabs you from first page

    I loved this book! I read in 8th grade for a project and I loved it. It was interesting, creepy, and funny. I would read it again

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2012

    Love it

    I absolutly loved this book. Its one that i can read over and over and never get tired of

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 13, 2012

    Ok

    Nothing specail but a good way to pass the time

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 13, 2012

    Super cool book

    What a cool book. I love it it was so good book it was so real so if u have any problems in you soical life or just has troubles at all READ IT! Thats all i can say

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2011

    Wow!

    This book is amazing with a capital A i mean. Its confusing if u confused easily but i read it all without stopping

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2011

    ;) READ IT I LOVED IT!!! - Sarah B

    This book really relates to me except i play the clarinet not tuba, i'm girl not a boy, and my stepdad dosent hurt me and my brother much any more......... my stepfather is very mean and just because my brother just had surgery dosent me i cant have dome alone time with my self! Ok back to the book.....even thought David Klass is such a great writer this book is very confusing so if you are some one who gets too confused too easily than STAY AWAY!!!!! So this is very touching and you cant help but feel like you have too help John any way you can!!!!!!! When you read you will fall in love with John and feel a deep hatred for the step father!!!! When i say 'fall in love with John' fall in love with his character. Almost every one at Cedar Creek Middle School ( my school ) loves it!!! I reconmend it to ages 10 and up!! - Sarah Booth :);)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2011

    Love this book

    This book is very good its diffrent from any book i have read before i recomend it to all teens

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2011

    I hated it.

    Well , it overall was a deppresing book that focused mainly on 1 character and was sincerly boring with a capital B. I was not pleased. David Klass , this time I am very discoureged. This is coming from a person who scarcly can put a book down, and I just couldn't read it. Sincerly discouraged,
    Gabby Hinkle

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 20, 2011

    Ok

    This but it ok not boring but wasnt wrote in the best way

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 13, 2011

    eww this book is j E W Eww this book is so bad and disturbing

    I dont like this book. I think that this book is stupid. It has no point.

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  • Posted October 24, 2011

    Awesome!

    The way the book is worded is quite interesting. The book overall was amazing! I even read it twice, and that is super rare for me to do with books.

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