You Have to Say the Words: An Integrity-Based Approach for Tackling Tough Conversations and Maximizing Performance

Overview

Employees crave honest feedback. Leaders must make time to provide specific and timely feedback, even when it feels uncomfortable to do so. Leadership expert and coach Kathy Ryan shares easy-to-implement action steps that take the fear out of feedback so you can lead with confidence and inspire maximum performance. Packed with practical advice and real-life stories, this definitive guide helps you to leverage the best practices of successful leaders.

Inside you will find an ...

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You Have to Say the Words: An Integrity-Based Approach for Tackling Tough Conversations and Maximizing Performance

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Overview

Employees crave honest feedback. Leaders must make time to provide specific and timely feedback, even when it feels uncomfortable to do so. Leadership expert and coach Kathy Ryan shares easy-to-implement action steps that take the fear out of feedback so you can lead with confidence and inspire maximum performance. Packed with practical advice and real-life stories, this definitive guide helps you to leverage the best practices of successful leaders.

Inside you will find an in-depth discussion of the qualities and skills needed to build trust and credibility as a leader, complete step-by-step guidance for providing impactful performance feedback, and valuable tips and templates for documenting performance discussions.

This books is a must-have resource for all managers and HR professionals.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780983756507
  • Publisher: Achievement Press LLC
  • Publication date: 9/26/2011
  • Pages: 306
  • Sales rank: 410,966
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.64 (d)

Meet the Author

Kathy Ryan is an author, speaker, leadership coach and founder of Pinnacle Coaching Group, LLC. She has expertise in a variety of areas including leadership, human resources, communication, performance management and personal development. Kathy earned a lifetime certification as a Senior Professional in Human Resources from the Society for Human Resources Management and has been certified in the use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment since 1995.

During her 20+ year career in human resources, Kathy helped thousands of individuals to increase their management skills and raise their level of influence as leaders. Now as a coach and consultant, she helps organizations improve their financial results by investing in and committing to the personal growth and development of their leadership team.

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Table of Contents

Authors Note
Warning: Disclaimer
Introduction
Section One: Your Leadership Style

1. A Commitment to Honesty
• It Isn't Real Until You Say It
• Dave's Story
• The Courage to Be Honest
• Types of Tough Conversations
• Behavior Issues
• Performance Issues
• Sensitive Topics
• Terminations

2. Build a Strong Foundation
• Building Influence
• Robert's Story
• Developing the Qualities of a Leader
• Becoming a Person of Character
• Be Trustworthy
• Communicate Your Expectations
• Become a Servant Leader
• Invest in Yourself and Others

3. Get Out of Your Own Way
• Your Dark Side
• Fears
• Insecurities
• Biases
• Personality Traits
• Emotionally Distant
• Heart on the Sleeve
• Impatient
• Arrogance
• Avoiding the Conversation
• My Story

Section Two: Develop the Tools

4. Filling Your Toolbox: The Basic Skills
• Your Virtual Toolbox
• The Basic Skills
• Direct Feedback
• Active Listening Skills
• Adapt Your Feedback Style
• Manage and Diffuse Energy
• Consistency

5. Take it to the Next Level
• Advanced Skills
• Trust Your Intuition
• Think Strategically
• Develop a Poker Face
• Think on Your Feet

Section Three: Follow the Process

6. The Development Process
• Set Clear Expectations
• Provide Timely and Consistent Feedback
• Provide Coaching and Counseling
• Document Issues
• Follow Through

7. The Progressive Discipline Process
• Addressing Behavior Issues
• Addressing Performance Issues
• Probationary Period
• Determining the Next Step
• The Roller-Coaster Effect
• Keeping the Right Attitude

8. Sensitive Conversations
• Addressing Sensitive Topics

Section Four: Preparing for the Conversation

9. Assemble Your Dream Team
• Creating Your Dream Team

Mentors

Experienced Leaders

Human Resources

The Boss

Mental Health Professionals


10. Have a Meeting before the Meeting
• Your Pre-Meeting Meeting
Start with the End in Mind

Determine Overall Tone

Decide on Participants

Identify Roles

Review Signals

Play "What If?"


11. Pay Attention to the Details
• It's All in the Details
• What to Consider
Timing

Location / Environment

Additional Support

Money Matters

Security


Section Five: Having the Conversation

12. The Opening
• Three Phases of a Conversation
• The Opening Phase
Setting the Tone

Explain the Purpose

Encourage the Employee to Talk

Listen More Than You Talk

Transition to the Next Phase

• A Few Exceptions to the Opening Format
Addressing Sensitive Issues

Starting with Your Message


13. The Feedback Phase
• The Feedback Phase
Flush Out Pertinent Details

Closed-Ended Questions

Open-Ended Questions

Provide Feedback

Feedback Formulas

• The C.A.R. Formula
• The "While I Appreciate..." Formula
I- Statements

Acknowledge Emotions / Diffuse Energy

Identifying Levels of Emotion

Managing Defenses

The Blame Game

The Stonewall

Taking the Offensive

Playing on Your Emotions

Handling Distractions and Interruptions

Inclement Weather

Loud Noises

Time of Day

People Interruptions

Determine if You are On Course

Transition to Close


14. The Close
• The Closing Phase
Deliver Your Message

Crafting Your Message

The "Or Else" Clause

Leaving Yourself Options

Check for Understanding and Answer Questions

Discuss Follow-up Meeting

Introduce Documentation

Close the Meeting


15. Terminating Employment
• The Format of a Termination Conversation
Prepare for the Conversation

Have a Meeting before the Meeting

Work Out the Details

Have the Conversation

Communicating the Termination to Others

Documentation


Section Six: After the Conversation

16. You're Not Done Yet
• After the Conversation
Debrief After the Meeting

Check-in with the Employee

Keep Scheduled Follow-up Meetings

Provide Follow-up Documentation

Find a Reason to Interact


Section Seven: The Wonderful World of Documentation

17. What is Documentation?
• When to Document
You Start to See a Pattern

The Problem Is Already Serious

You Have Concerns about Legal Action

The Issue is Job Threatening

• Types of Documentation
Informal

General

Written Verbal

Written Warning

Performance Probation

Final Warning


18. Crafting Your Document
• Writing Your Document
The Format

Bridging Gaps in Documentation


19. Signatures and Witnesses
• Getting a Signature
Refusal to Sign

Order of Signatures

• Including a Witness
The Witness's Role

The Balance of Power

Explain Their Presence

Witness's Signature


Section Eight: Bringing It All Together

20. Final Thoughts
• Work from the Inside Out
• Practice the Skills
• Learn Your Company's Processes
• Prepare for Every Conversation
• Have the Tough Conversations
• Simplify Your Documentation

Additional Resources - Performance Documentation Templates
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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 8, 2012

    Take your game up a notch

    What Kathy Ryan has accomplished here is magnificent. I have never read anything quite like it and I love how she uses real world stories to drive home her points. I want to get this into the hands of every new manager with the hopes that they review its messages throughout their careers. Everything here is real and relatable to the world of work as we know it. If you have been getting it done competently, this will help you get the job done admirably.

    Anthony Kern, Labor Relations Analyst

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  • Posted February 4, 2012

    Straightforward, practical, insightful

    As an outplacement consultant, I often work with clients who arrive in my office bewildered as to the reasons for the termination of their employment and angry about the mixed messages they received from their managers leading up to it. In this very practical book, Kathy Ryan draws on her extensive experience as an HR Professional and a Business Coach to make the case for much needed straightforward and honest communication from managers to employees regarding performance expectations and workplace behavior. She also provides a wealth of tools and examples that will help both new and experienced managers improve their ability to "say the words" that lead to clear and productive communication with employees. Roger E. Pickard, VP / Managing Consultant, Lee Hecht Harrison

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  • Posted February 3, 2012

    Highly Recommended Read For Any Manager

    I have known Kathy for well over 10 years and she is the consummate HR professional. She was one of the few HR people I knew who was able to be an employee advocate and simultaneously ensure company policy was enforced. As an operations person, I fully subscribe to her theories embodied in 'You Have to Say the Words'. I live by that credo and it has served me well for many years.

    Don Watson
    Food and Beverage Executive

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  • Posted February 2, 2012

    Incredibly insightful and full of practical knowledge!

    Kathy Ryan has put into words what every manager must know in order to effectively manage and mentor their employees. With clear and concise examples, Kathy eloquently provides the "real world" dialog necessary to handle the difficult conversations that are typically avoided in the work place. "You Have To Say the Words" was not merely a pleasure to read but is also a treasure chest of tools I now have at my finger tips to apply to my managerial responsibilities. Anthony Paolini, Vice President, Instructors Network, Inc.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2012

    A MUST READ

    Whether you're an HR professional, a line manager with people responsibilities, or new to the HR profession, this book is a "must read". Kathy shares many real life examples that we all can relate to, with very practical, hands-on solutions that are so insightful. After being in the business world for 40 years, I can honestly say that I learned a tremendous amount from Kathy's perspectives.

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    Posted February 2, 2012

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