You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story [NOOK Book]

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Overview

In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
 
After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an unsentimental account of the ...
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Overview

In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
 
After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an unsentimental account of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a very rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny story is sure to strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of all couples (not to mention every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial state).
 
Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who has come to realize that being “in love” can only get you so far.
 
On Cohabitation
He says: “Within days of Annabelle’s arrival, I became very aware that she demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal.”

She says: “The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off for even a second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he’d scored box seats at Fenway Park.”
 
On Sex
He says: “I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.”

She says: “Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turnoff, but it’s only a turnoff if you’re talking about not having money. Talking about money before you have sex when you have money is actually a turn-on.”
 
On Pregnancy
He says: “For God’s sake, all I wanted to do was have sex without a condom for a little while; now we were moments from bringing a new life into the world!”

She says: “My ass was expanding so fast it was like a Starbucks franchise. On every corner of my ass there was a new branch of ass opening up.”


From the Hardcover edition.
  • Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn
    Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn  
  • Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn
    Annabelle Gurwitch & Jeff Kahn  

Editorial Reviews

Lisa Bonos
Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn's You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story shows how hectic, hard and hilarious married life can be. Spanning friendship, courtship, marriage and parenthood, their "he said/she said" memoir at times reads like a mix of couples therapy and "Real World" confessionals for grown-ups. Only funnier and heavier.
—The Washington Post
Publishers Weekly
Married for 13 years, Gurwitch and Kahn look back with laughter at the highs, the lows, and their “different marital needs.” Writer-actor Kahn (Curb Your Enthusiasm) won an Emmy for scripting The Ben Stiller Show; actress Gurwitch (Seinfeld) produced a documentary adapted from her 2006 book Fired! Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, & Dismissed. By teaming for this equally merry marriage memoir, the duo doubles the giggles and guffaws. Over many months, they have been doing readings and performances from this book in progress, when it had the working title, How Not to Have a Marriage Like Ours. The book includes alternating “He Says”/”She Says” sections. Opening with Jeff’s pursuit of Annabelle, they write in a lighthearted fashion about dating, cats, living together, marriage, the honeymoon, and lots of sex: “In the beginning, there was sex and it was good. In the middle, it became something to schedule like a tennis lesson and flu shot.” A genuine crisis interrupted their comedic conflicts when their son was born with birth defects, a situation that affected their marriage: “We became each other’s psychological punching bags.” In the concluding chapter, they speculate on the future direction of their marriage, possibly “like the bonds of emperor penguins and Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas.” Readers will hope they stay together to write more heartfelt, funny books like this one. (Feb. 14)

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307463791
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 2/23/2010
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 98,966
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author

ANNABELLE GURWITCH is an actress and writer, best known for her years cohosting Dinner and a Movie on TBS and her Fired! book and documentary film. Her acting credits include Seinfeld, Boston Legal, and The Shaggy Dog. She’s been a humor columnist for TheNationMagazine.com and a regular commentator on NPR.
 
JEFF KAHN won an Emmy Award for his writing on The Ben Stiller Show. As an actor, he has appeared in The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Tropic Thunder, as well as in the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage.


From the Hardcover edition.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 Let Us Now Praise Lactose Intolerance 10

2 A Saab Story 24

3 A Tale of Two Kitties 40

4 28 Days Later 59

5 Hungry Like the Wolf 79

6 The Years of Living Sleeplessly 98

7 The Eighteen-Year Plan 123

8 Back to the Pussy 144

9 Slouching Toward Cooperstown 156

10 They're Not Our Fathers' Fathers-in-Law 173

11 I'm OK, You're the Problem 193

12 Anything Goes 213

13 Future Shock Spouse 230

14 The State of Our Union 247

Acknowledgments 262

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 24 )

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Sort by: Showing all of 18 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2012

    SHUT UP

    that is exactly how i got here

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2012

    Yo

    Not good...

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    Posted July 5, 2011

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