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A Satiric Look at the Jeer-Ful Side of Our National Pastime
There are countless volumes celebrating the best teams in professional baseball. Unfortunately, winning represents only one side of the game. For every champion's record-setting season, there has been an equally memorable story of defeat. These teams and their shameful contributions to America's national pastime have been a neglected topic in the annals of baseball history. Until now.
In You Stink!, two fanatical historians (or historian fans), Michael Aubrecht and Eric Wittenberg, give credit where it is far overdue with a statistically backed, satiric look at the worst teams and individuals ever to set foot on a diamond. You Stink! includes franchise origins, detailed stats, player profiles, photos, and more, as well as a collection of long-format essays in a "Hall of Shame" that recognizes some of the worst moments ever witnessed on a ball field. The first half of the book is based entirely on statistical data; in the second half, the authors give their personal opinions.
With an insightful foreword by Dave Raymond, the original "Phillie Phanatic," You Stink! showcases disappointments on the diamond dating as far back as 1889. Readers are treated to stories of the worst teams, players, owners, calls, fans, plays, and more. A timeline of Major League terribleness and an assortment of quotations about losing complement this unique survey of shame.
Ultimately, You Stink! celebrates a sport that gives us more than just wins and losses and drives to the heart of what all of us love about baseball. Fans bond with their teams, and everyone can relate to suffering through slumps. Watching our heroes stumble through ineptitude, boneheaded plays, and heartbreaking losses makes the celebration all the sweeter when victory finally comes.
Foreword (The Phillie Phanatic) Raymond, Dave ix
Introduction: Monument to Mediocrity xiii
Terrible Teams
Not Louisville Sluggers: The 1889 Louisville Colonels 3
Bad News Brownies: The 1898 St. Louis Browns 12
Squashed Like a Bug: The 1899 Cleveland Spiders 22
"Et Tu, Brute?": The 1904 Washington Senators 31
The Curse Continues: The 1932 Boston Red Sox 42
Even the Babe Couldn't Save This One: The 1935 Boston Braves 52
From Dynasty to Despair: The 1916 Philadelphia Athletics 63
Tie: '42 and '61 Phillies 72
Tie: '50-'51-'52-'53-'54 Buccos 92
The Worst Record of the Modern Era: The 1962 New York Mets 103
One Year of Wretchedness: The 1969 Seattle Pilots 115
In Need of Forgiveness: The 1973 San Diego Padres 130
Fundamentally Flawed: The 1988 Baltimore Orioles 140
A Complete Massacre: The 1991 Cleveland Indians 152
Scaredy Cats: The 2003 Detroit Tigers 164
Hall of Shame
Worst Season: From Heroes to Zeros: The 1884 Wilmington Quicksteps 177
Worst Investment: Money for Nothing: $100-Plus Million 2008 Seattle Mariners 181
Worst Collapse: Rotten to the (Big Apple) Core: The 2007 New York Mets 186
Worst Pitching Staff: Scoring 10 Runs a Game But Still Losing: The 1930 Philadelphia Phillies 195
Worst Scandal: Cheaters Never Win: The 1919 "Black Sox" Scandal 199
Worst Call: *61 in '61: Maris Gets the Asterisk 207
Worst Team Year In and Year Out: Abandon Ship: The Pittsburgh Pirates and 19-Plus Straight Losing Seasons 215
Top 10 Worst Plays 219
Worst Players 237
Disappointment on the Diamond
A Timeline of Terribleness 259
Notable Quotables
Lines about Losing 299
Acknowledgments 305
Notes 307
Bibliography 313
Index 317
Overview
A Satiric Look at the Jeer-Ful Side of Our National Pastime
There are countless volumes celebrating the best teams in professional baseball. Unfortunately, winning represents only one side of the game. For every champion's record-setting season, there has been an equally memorable story of defeat. These teams and their shameful contributions to America's national pastime have been a neglected topic in the annals of baseball history. Until now.
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