Your Coffin or Mine? (Dead-End Dating Series #3)

( 26 )

Overview

BEING DEAD CAN KILL A SOCIAL LIFE!

For Lil Marchette, the owner of Manhattan’s premier dating service for vampires (and a dazzling denizen of the dark herself), death is all in a night’s work. Unfortunately, it’s going to take more than matching up vamps to pay the bills and fund Lil’s cosmetics addiction. Dare she add actual humans to the mix? Eager to diversify, she signs up for a popular dating show, Manhattan’s Most Wanted (MMW), to pitch ...

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Your Coffin or Mine? (Dead-End Dating Series #3)

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Overview

BEING DEAD CAN KILL A SOCIAL LIFE!

For Lil Marchette, the owner of Manhattan’s premier dating service for vampires (and a dazzling denizen of the dark herself), death is all in a night’s work. Unfortunately, it’s going to take more than matching up vamps to pay the bills and fund Lil’s cosmetics addiction. Dare she add actual humans to the mix? Eager to diversify, she signs up for a popular dating show, Manhattan’s Most Wanted (MMW), to pitch her expertise to the perfect target audience–eligible women looking for eligible men.

Of course Lil is trying to forget the one man she’d love to sink her own teeth into: Ty Bonner, the ultraseductive vamp who broke her heart after she gave him the hottest night of his afterlife. Problem is, she and Ty have an intense mental connection and she’s sensing he’s in deep trouble. Even worse, she soon finds herself heading for MMW’s grand finale (cameras are so not a vamp’s best friend). The race is on as Lil struggles to save Ty (and herself) before all hell breaks loose.

“Lil is a likable mix of Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw and Dracula–charming, sweet, stylish, with just a hint of fang.”
Parkersburg News and Sentinel

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780345492180
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 9/25/2007
  • Series: Dead-End Dating Series , #3
  • Format: Mass Market Paperback
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 337,392
  • Product dimensions: 4.18 (w) x 6.87 (h) x 0.82 (d)

Meet the Author

Kimberly Raye is the bestselling author of more than thirty novels, including Dead End Dating and Dead and Dateless. She’s been nominated for several Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Awards, as well as two RITA Awards. Her books have been featured in several major magazines, including Better Homes & Gardens and Glamour, and her novel Sometimes Naughty, Sometimes Nice was a Cosmopolitan magazine book club pick. She lives deep in the heart of Texas Hill Country with her husband and their young children. Please visit her website at www.kimberlyraye.com.
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Read an Excerpt

One

I was being followed.

If that wasn’t creepy enough, it was dark out, I was all alone, and I was standing in a smelly alley near Times Square.

Talk about a Wes Craven flick.

For me, however, it was just another day in the life of a fantabulous five-hundred-year-old (and hold- ing) born vampire. My name? Countess Lilliana Arrabella Guinevere du Marchette, but my best buds call me Lil.

Because of my BV heritage, I ooze sex appeal, and since it’s oozing out of a totally hot package (great body, great face, kickin’ highlights), I’ve had more than my share of stalkers. Like the rest of my kind, I attract the opposite sex en masse.

Okay. So maybe en masse might be stretching things a teensy bit. Particularly since I haven’t had an official date in . . .

Well, I can’t actually remember the last time. (Fix ups DO NOT count, Ma.) To make matters worse, I was sorta, kinda dumped recently by a megahot bounty hunter after our one and only night together (sniffle).

But neither of those is due to a lack of hotness on my part. The Dating Deficit? My choice. No, really. I’ve given up meaningless flings in favor of finding my eternity mate, settling down, and propagating the species.

As for the bounty hunter . . . I’m sure (fingers crossed) he’ll soon realize what a vampilicious babe I am and come begging my forgiveness. I, of course, will tell him—as would any female who’d been dumped with not so much as a Later scribbled on a Post-it—to go bite himself.

At least that was the revenge fantasy I was currently tuning into. In between numero uno—I rip off all of his clothes and we make like jackrabbits—and three—he rips off all of mine and we make like jackrabbits.

I know, right? It was one measly night. I should get a life (or an afterlife in my case) and forget all about him. And the way he kissed. And touched. And tasted.

Yes, I’ve tasted him, too, but not during sex. I’m weak, but not that weak. The tasting occurred before the sex.

I’d been staked and he’d been trying to help me recoup my strength. I’d drank from him and since then we’ve had this mental connection thing going on. He can send me thoughts and vice versa.

Not that he’s sent me anything in the past months.

No desperate apologies. No sweet nothings. No flowers. Not even a measly IOU for a night of hot, wild, primo mattress dancing.

All the more reason to push him completely out of my mind and get back on track, right? Right.

So, um, where was I?

Oh, yeah. Dark, creepy alley. My being followed. No huge deal.

Until now.

Wedge heels tapped the pavement behind me and thundered through my head as I rounded a corner and started down another alley. The sharp aroma of cheap hair spray mingled with generic body spray burned my nostrils. I turned and caught a glimpse of a chipped manicure clutching a tiny disposable camera before my stalker realized I was looking and ducked behind a Dumpster.

A man I’d expected (see the long rambling above), but a woman?

While I knew chicks got off to really hot chicks everyday (I could appreciate the latest Angelina Jolie pic as much as the next mature, sexually confident, semilonely woman), I couldn’t shake the gut feeling that there was more to this than a love-struck groupie eager to feed her own private fantasies.

I kept staring at the Dumpster until she stole another glance at me. My gaze collided with hers for a nanosecond and her stats rolled through my head like movie credits (another perk of being a vampire is that I can look into someone’s eyes and read their mind).

Gwen Rowley. Thirty-nine years old. Italian. Full-time fourth-grade teacher and part-time private investigator. Divorced mother of three. Hated men. Even more, she hated her mother, who’d put her up to following a small-time matchmaker when she could have been (a) grading tomorrow’s math assignment, and then, (b) tailing her ex and his new girlfriend. They were going bowling. Gwen hated bowling, too.

She retreated behind the massive metal monster and the connection ended before I could find out the really good stuff.

Like who in Damien’s name was her mother and why would she want me followed?

And, more important, had Gwen started dating again?

FYI: In addition to being a hot, happening vampere, I’m also Manhattan’s newest primo matchmaker.

Gwen peeked around the corner once more, camera poised, and my instincts screamed for me to shift into Super Vamp mode, make like my last client fee, and—poof—disappear.

Fast.

Our species, and the dozens of Others out there, hadn’t survived thousands of years by keeping a high profile. We exercised caution and kept to ourselves and avoided cameras at all cost.

I paused and made a show of adjusting my shoe (snakeskin Prada stiletto for the record), and gave her my best profile.

Hey, we’re talking stiletto. As in mucho P-A-I-N. I simply had to stop and wiggle my toes.

And ease my own conscience. What can I say? I’ve got a soft spot for potential clients. Even more, I’m a jumbo marshmallow when it comes to potential clients with bossy, overbearing mothers (DO NOT get me started).

The camera clicked a few times. Finally, I ceased with the hamming it up and shifted into action mode. I stepped forward, my feet moving so fast that I emerged from my back alley route a half a block away, walked into the massive high-rise near the heart of Times Square, and sailed onto the elevator before Gwen had a chance to blink, much less follow.

Did I mention that born vamps are superfast in addition to being total mind-reading hotties?

While I wasn’t opposed to giving the woman a few pics so she didn’t go back empty-handed, I hadn’t taken a back alley route for the great scenery. The last thing—the very last thing—I needed was to be caught dead (or undead) in a place like this.

I stepped off the elevator on the eighth floor and walked into the lobby of KNYC, a local cable network near the NBC studios. KNYC was responsible for several homegrown news programs, a handful of talk shows, and the recent reality smash Manhattan’s Most Wanted.

MMW was a local version of The Bachelor that paired up one of the city’s most sought after males with fifty marriage-minded, crème de la crème females, and let him weed them down to The One.

At least that was the idea. The last guy—a Wall Street financier—had narrowed his bevy of bombshells down to The One Who’d Taken the Rock and Hauled Ass. She’d pocketed the cash, headed for Mexico, and the financier had ended up on Dr. Phil.

This year’s bachelor? Some heartthrob weather guy at one of the local stations. Since I don’t really watch much television (except Date My Mom and I Love New York, both purely for research), I couldn’t say exactly which one. But being a super-intuitive vampere, I didn’t have to see him to know the really important stuff. Namely, he actually had a job and decent looks, otherwise he’d be telling fortunes on Coney Island instead of on television.

Inside the lobby of the station, plush gold carpeting cushioned my stance and eased the pressure on my tootsies. Pale yellow walls decorated with gold Art Deco mirrors surrounded me. Cinnamon-colored leather chairs traced the perimeter. Several tables overflowed with magazines. A man stood near a glass doorway marked studio a, a headset hooked around his neck and a clipboard in his hands.

The only man in a room that otherwise overflowed with single, successful, smart, attractive, desperate women.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 26 )
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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 26 Customer Reviews
  • Posted April 19, 2010

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    I Also Recommend:

    Poor Evie!

    In the third book of the Dead Ending Dating series, Evie, Lil's fabulous assistance, is possessed by a murderous demon. Much to Lil's dismay, the handsome trio of demon brothers are on a mission to capture and kill this demon. While dodging her mother's continuous efforts to find her Mr. Right and bribing her oldest brother Rob, Lil has obtained and restrained Evie/Demon to her bedroom.

    After the destruction of her wardrobe and several near misses with the green slimy stuff, Lil has finally found a way to save Evie. its exorcism time! Only when it comes time to absolve Evie of her demon, a miscalculation land's Lil with a new possession and it's not a hot new couture purse. Thank goodness Lil has her own personal Knight in Shining Armor, Ty Bonner her ex-whatever bounty hunter.

    If you like vampires and you like funny then this might be the series for you. Check out some of my other recomendations if you like funny/romantic vampire stories.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 26, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Laugh-out-loud page turner.

    "Your Coffin or Mine?" definitely provided a few hours of worthwhile entertainment. Raye's style and driven plot create a book which left me feeling if I could not turn the pages fast enough.
    After reading this book, along with the previous two, I have fallen in love with Lil's voice. Everyone has met at least one person who acts and thinks like the main character. I picture several friends while reading and am constantly entertained through her story telling and hillarious romps through nighttime Manhattan.
    Running a dating service with a growing clientele and looking for the perfect eternity mate are in constant conflict. The subplot involving Ty grows deeper and I eagerly await what's to be revealed in the next books in the series.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 7, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Still lovin her books..

    I enjoyed this book it kept you reading and wondering what was going to happen next.. Although if it was me I would have seen what ASH was all about..lol.. Looking forward to the next one..

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    Few authors combine chick lit shtick with vampire bites better than Kimberly Raye does

    In Manhattan professional matchmaker BV (beautiful vampiress) Countess Lilliana Arabella Guinevere du Marchette (call her Lil) is hired by a reality TV show to find a match for a famous bachelor. However, that project seems relatively tame when compared to a telepathic message she received from bounty-hunting vampire Ty for help He vanished several months ago without a trace after a glorious one night with Lil.------------- As Lil tries to locate Ty in order to rescue him for a second night and who knows what else, she meets homicide detective Ash, who is not human or vampire. They work together seeking to find Ty. At the same time the human fiancé of her brother pleads with Lilliana (not quite one of her best buds yet so Lil is inappropriate) to find the right wedding dress and her mother tries to matchmake her DEAD AND DATELESS daughter with any mortal, vampire, or other ilk as long as they are male.------------ The latest adventures of that DED (DEAD END DATING) BV Countess Lil is, for the most part, a lighthearted romantic romp although the Ty subplot is a bit darker and much more serious in tone. Fans of the serious will appreciate Lil¿s fun Manhattan frolic as few authors combine chick lit shtick with vampire bites better than Kimberly Raye does.---------- Harriet Klausner

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2014

    Love them

    Kimberly raye is the reason why i invested in a booknook. I laughed myself tears on her first two books. The characters are loveable. Want a fun corky book, this is it.

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