Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women

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Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women (eBook) Pub. Date: 4/26/2011 Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
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Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women Pub. Date: 4/26/2011 Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan

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Overview

Your Daughter’s Healthy Identity Starts With You

After psychoanalyst Joyce McFadden treated countless women who felt alone and isolated in experiences that they were unaware many other women were dealing with too, she began to ask what she could do to help them reach out to each other. The result was the launch of her Women’s Realities Study in which she interviewed hundreds of women from ages 18-105, about the most private issues as she sought to understand what events in a woman’s life impact her future happiness and self-confidence. What McFadden found was truly revealing— the theme that most interested them as they explored their identities was how their relationship with their mothers influenced their understanding of themselves as sexual beings throughout their lives—from the time they were little girls straight through adulthood.

Drawing on over a thousand responses, Your Daughter’s Bedroom offers a new and unprecedented look at the mother-daughter bond. McFadden argues that the type of womanhood mothers model for their daughters determines the young girls’ comfort with their own bodies which, in turn, leads to confidence and satisfaction later in life. From the most mundane and everyday gestures—a reluctance to call body parts by their real name; an offhanded suggestion to lose weight— to how mothers introduce life altering events such as the start of puberty and sexual exploration, all of these have an impact on a girl’s psyche. She found that in an attempt to protect and shield daughters, mothers withhold important information and leave girls to wrestle with their own bourgeoning sexuality and other challenges of growing up.

Offering a fresh perspective on the fraught mother-daughter relationship, McFadden shows how mothers can create the right environment for their daughters to grow into self-assured women. Your Daughter’s Bedroom is an essential resource for women who want to establish a more open and positive relationship with their daughters.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Manhattan-based psychoanalyst McFadden had been listening to women's narratives in her practice for 25 years; in 2005 she decided to conduct an online survey called Women's Realities, having observed that many women feel alone in their emotional struggles or ashamed of their sexual histories and desires. Knowing that others are going through similar experiences, the author hypothesized, would be healing. Hundreds of women from all walks of life, of various ethnicities and ages, participated by anonymously sharing their stories with "raw honesty." This text represents a portion of McFadden's extensive findings, focusing in depth on three of the survey's most popular topics: menstruation, women's relationships with their mothers, and masturbation (she explains that current publishing trends prevented her from examining the entire online survey in book form). McFadden's mission is not only to give women an anonymous forum, but also to encourage women to become more candid in their discussions about such issues with their own daughters. The text not only validates women's shared experiences but also gives mothers practical suggestions for shepherding their daughters to womanhood. Emphasizing a mother's power to enhance or harm a girl's sense of identity and attitude toward sex, McFadden warns against outsourcing sexual education: music videos, ads, books, or the school nurse aren't a substitute for an open mother/daughter relationship. Despite the rather ambiguous title, this is a fascinating and empowering text for women of all ages. (May)

Kirkus Reviews

Psychoanalyst and Huffington Post columnist McFadden offers insight and honesty in a discussion of the healthy ways mothers can help their daughters grow comfortable and knowledgeable about their sexuality.

In August 2005, the author launched the Women's Realities Study, a research project that aimed to take the pulse of modern women by asking open-ended questions about relationships, motherhood and mental health, among others. Her intended goal was to create a companion piece to the classicOur Bodies, Ourselves. Mission accomplished. The authorclears away the heavy clouds that overshadow topics many daughters do not learn about from their mothers (and which mothers often dread sharing with their daughters): menstruation, masturbation and sex. For generations, embarrassment, shame and even fear have kept this crucial information from being handed down to daughters. McFadden stresses that mothers must learn to value their own sexuality and to lead by example. This position is one many women may strain to achieve, however, as historically society has pigeonholed women into neatly gift-wrapped boxes with nothing "dirty" showing through the seams. "No matter how sexually alive [a woman] was before, as soon as she becomes a mother, we act as though her erotic life is over," writes the author. McFadden provides examples of mothers willing to take on and embrace these changes, and how they do so with trust, warmth and often space. There are hurdles to cross and backs to be straightened when it comes to this topic, but daughters need their mothers, and it's time they heard their voices.

An empowering resource for mothers and daughters everywhere.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780230103627
Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
Publication date: 4/26/2011
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 396,772
Product dimensions: 6.40 (w) x 9.30 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

Joyce McFadden is a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York and East Hampton. Author of the ongoing anonymous web-based Women’s Realities Study, she is a faculty member, clinical supervisor and training analyst at the Training and Research Institute for Self Psychology, as well as a faculty member at the Woodhull Institute and the NYC Open Center. She is a featured writer on intent.com and a columnist on Huffington Post.

Introduction

• Exploring Our Mothers’ Influence on Ourselves

• Menstruation: Are You There Mom? It’s Me, Your Daughter

• Sexual Mother, Sexual Daughter

• Talking To Our Daughters about Sex throughout Our Lives Together

• What Do You Most Want To Know About Your Mother But Would Never Ask?

• Body Image and “Beauty”: Saving Our Daughters From Ourselves

• Conclusion

• Appendix

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Anonymous

Posted May 19, 2011

Not For Me

I was hoping for something on communication with my 7-year-old. I saw the title and cover, but the description made me think this may be the book for me. Based more on sex than I was ready to read.

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Anonymous

Posted May 15, 2011

No text was provided for this review.

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