Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship

Overview

When your teen's rebellious behavior "Crosses the line," How can you reestablish your authority without getting caught in a power struggle? Bestselling authors and distinguished psychologists Russell Barkley and Arthur Robin have each spent decades helping parents and kinds resolve standoffs and repair their relationships. Now they've distilled their approach into a clinically proven self-help program that can help you break through to your teen and rebuild trust. Centered around 10 simple steps that lead to ...
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Overview

When your teen's rebellious behavior "Crosses the line," How can you reestablish your authority without getting caught in a power struggle? Bestselling authors and distinguished psychologists Russell Barkley and Arthur Robin have each spent decades helping parents and kinds resolve standoffs and repair their relationships. Now they've distilled their approach into a clinically proven self-help program that can help you break through to your teen and rebuild trust. Centered around 10 simple steps that lead to better behavior, Your Defiant Teen provides practical guidelines for putting an end to the hostilities. You'll learn realistic ways to foster mutual respect, introduce cooperative problem solving, and strengthen family relationships-while giving your teen vital skills for becoming a mature, independent adult.

About the Author:
Russell A. Barkley, PhD, is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston and Research Professor of Psychiatry at the SUNY Upstate Medical University at Syracuse

About the Author:
Arthur L. Robin, PhD, is Director of Psychology Training at Children's Hospital of Michigan, Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Wayne State University, and a practicing psychologist in Michigan with more than three decades of experience

About the Author:
Christine M. Benton is a Chicago-based writer and editor

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Barkley, research professor of psychiatry at SUNY-Syracuse Medical University and author (with Benton) of Your Defiant Child, and Robin (director of psychology training at Children's Hospital of Michigan) share between them 60 years of clinical and research experience studying the defiant behavior of children and adolescents. The first part of their comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem. The authors provide a chart to help readers gauge their child's behavior, then outline four factors that contribute to defiance: the teen's and parents' characteristics (which are unchanging), stress (which can be alleviated somewhat) and parenting style (which can be substantially modified). Part Two delves into the principles for reversing or preventing defiance, with sections on "one-on-one" time (including how to accomplish this with an uninterested teen), managing behavior and choosing appropriate punishments and rewards, to name a few. Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens. (Feb.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
From the Publisher
"The very best book of its kind for parents dealing with behaviorally difficult teens. Valuable real-life examples illuminate not just what defiance looks like, but why it happens, and how to bring about change while strengthening family relationships. This will be the first book I recommend to the families I work with."—Sam Goldstein, PhD, Department of Psychology, George Mason University

"Drs. Barkley and Robin have hit gold—this book is a real treasure! The book provides very practical strategies for managing teenagers' behavior and enhancing family relationships. It is written specifically for parents, but professionals and students also will find it a 'must read.' The authors should be congratulated for this brilliant work that will be of value to so many families in the years to come."—Ronald T. Brown, PhD, Dean, Temple University College of Health Professions; Editor, Journal of Pediatric Psychology
 
"Drs. Barkley and Robin have blended their talents and years of clinical experience in putting together this 'must-read' book for all parents struggling with a teenager's vexing, challenging, and frustrating behavior. The book delivers tried-and-true techniques for resolving conflict in parent-teen relationships, together with wonderful practical tips and FAQs."—Gerald J. August, PhD, Department of Psychiatry, University of Minnesota Medical School
 

"This practical book shows how real change starts with you, the parent, and provides empowering tools and step-by-step guidance for making a positive difference in teen behavior. It is an excellent resource that will help you become a stronger positive influence in your teen's life."—Sharon K. Weiss, MEd, coauthor of From Chaos to Calm and Angry Children, Worried Parents

"As my son enters his adolescent years, I am thrilled to have this book! It is an easy read with many practical, commonsense ideas to try. The checklists and step-by-step approaches are very inviting. With all the pages to personalize our specific problem areas, it felt as though this book were truly written for my family. I am thrilled to be able to implement positive practices instead of always dwelling on the negative. I have already told many fellow parents and teachers about this book."—Lisa Boyadjian, elementary school teacher and parent of a 12-year-old

"Another essential work from Drs. Barkley and Robin. With most books in this area focused on children, there is a great need for practical, evidence-based information related to adolescents and their conflicts with family members. A 'must read' for parents, clinicians, and all those interested in the often-trying area of teen/n-/family interactions."—Stephen P. Hinshaw, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley

Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
"A practical missive to parents confronting defiance....Your Defiant Teen delivers on its promise. It is a directive book that encourages parents to take back authority while simultaneously respecting the magic process of burgeoning independence....The examples are diverse and inclusive as they span the teen years. The problem behaviors vary from sneaking time on the Internet to covert midday romantic encounters at the expense of regular school attendance. These descriptions seem empowering for parents because they help define the problem and help parents feel less isolated in dealing with the difficult teen....Your Defiant Teen is an empathy-building, empowering, and practical book. It is a wonderful tool for highly motivated parents looking to master techniques for dealing with defiance....The sections of the book that help build insight into defiance as the task of adolescence and frame general healthy interactions could be helpful to all types of parents dealing with defiance. Defiance is a tough foe, and this book should be a real help to parents struggling to put defiance in its place."—Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Child and Family Behavior Therapy
"The authors have much experience in dealing with Oppositional and Defiant teens. They have included in this self-help book many practical and useful hints, ideas, and strategies that many parents may find helpful. Their trying to discriminate which level and sort of problems may need professional help and which can be tackled by simply using this book is a plus....It can be a positive adjunct to therapists working with this population by providing parents an additional resource to consult between therapy sessions. It is a good example of a targeted book that can be recommended."—Child and Family Behavior Therapy
Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics
"Barkley and Robin provide a systematic and well-organized approach for caregivers to develop the tools and techniques with which to manage defiant behavior in teenagers by first understanding what it is and realizing some of the contributing factors resulting in maladaptive negative behavior patterns. The ultimate payoff after immersing oneself in their 10-step program is living more harmoniously with your teenager as they assert their growing independence."—Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics
Journal of Child and Family Studies
"This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes."—Journal of Child and Family Studies
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781593855833
  • Publisher: Guilford Publications, Inc.
  • Publication date: 2/1/2008
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 326
  • Product dimensions: 9.22 (w) x 9.26 (h) x 0.88 (d)

Meet the Author

Russell A. Barkley, PhD, ABPP, ABCN, is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics at the Medical University of South Carolina. Dr. Barkley has published numerous books and five assessment scales, plus more than 260 scientific articles and book chapters on ADHD, executive functioning, and childhood defiance. He is also the editor of the newsletter The ADHD Report. A frequent conference presenter and speaker who is widely cited in the national media, he is past president of the Section on Clinical Child Psychology (the former Division 12) of the American Psychological Association, and of the International Society for Research in Child and Adolescent Psychopathology. His website is www.russellbarkley.org.

Arthur L. Robin, PhD, is Director of Psychology Training at Children's Hospital of Michigan and Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences at Wayne State University. Dr. Robin is a practicing psychologist with more than 40 years of clinical experience.

Christine M. Benton is a Chicago-based writer and editor.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments     ix
Introduction     1
You and Your Defiant Teen
What Defiance Is-and What You Should Do about It     9
How Defiance Develops     26
What Does Adolescence Have to Do with It?     39
Is It Just Your Teen's Personality?     53
Where Do You Come In?     65
How to Find a Way Out     82
10 Steps to a Better Relationship with Your Teen-and a Better Future for Your Teen
Getting Ready     97
Step 1. Making Positive One-on-One Time a Habit     112
Step 2. A New Way to Manage Behavior     127
Step 3. Contracts and Point Systems: How Teens Can Earn Privileges     142
Step 4. Making the Punishment Really Fit the Crime     171
Step 5. Tackling Additional Issues with Rewards and Penalties     187
Step 6. Addressing Defiant Behavior in School and Conflicts over Homework     205
Step 7. Using Problem-Solving Skills     219
Step 8. Learning and Practicing Communication Skills     245
Step 9. Dealing with Unreasonable Beliefs and Expectations     267
Step 10. Keeping It Together     293
Sample Problem-Solving Worksheets     305
How to Find a Therapist     310
Resources     313
Index     319
About the Authors     326
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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 27, 2011

    Great Book.. wondering if too late for me..

    I wish I would have found this book 10 years ago. My son is now 19 and was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder at 9 years old. We have tried counseling and nothing good ever came out of it. Great read and advice. Will try using some of these steps with hopes it works!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2009

    Your Defiant Teen

    Great Book! Self help program for parents to rebuild trust and rebuild order with there child.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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