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Zinna squeezed her eyes shut tighter as Monica's warm mouth covered her own. Now Monica's hands slipped under her blouse. Those warm, sensuous hands aroused her breasts. She had ached for so long for Megan's warm, gentle touch. Monica unfastened the clasp on Zinna's bra, releasing her waiting aching breasts. Zinna cried out as her already hardened nipples were teased into convulsions by Monica. A moan escaped from her throat as Monica gently laid her back on the sofa. "I need you, Zinna." Her breath was soft against Zinna's ear. "I've wanted you for so long." She removed Zinna's blouse, then placed her mouth on one, then the other, of her firm breasts, gently suckling them.
Desire overcame Zinna, and she arched her back. Monica's body was poised over her own, when she opened her eyes, seeing Monica's hungry stare. No, Zinna thought, oh Megan I thought it was really you! "No," she choked. "I can't do this." She pushed at Monica. "No," she moaned, her chest heaving up and down.
Monica slid off her, but not before Zinna saw the pain in her eyes. "What did I do?" Her voice quivered.
Zinna sat upright burying her head in her hands. "It's not you," she cried. "Monica, I've never been this close to anyone since..." her voice trailed off.
"Who?" Monica asked. "Please, Zinna, if you're seeing someone then please just tell me."
Zinna looked at her friend, ashamed for causing the tears that now rolled down Monica's cheeks. "I can't be with anyone else, now or ever."
Monica gave her a bewildered look.
"I've only been with one woman my entire life. You know that."
"Megan. Zinna, why are you doing this to yourself?" she asked indisbelief.
Zinna looked at her through tear-filled eyes. "You don't understand, Monica, and you never will."
Monica grabbed her shoulders. "Dammit, Zinna, you've got to let go! Face reality. It's been almost a year. She's not coming!"
Zinna grabbed her blouse and quickly put it on. "No, I'll never believe that," she choked, her fingers fumbling with the buttons. "She'll come. That's all I've been holding onto."
"Honey, I'm not trying to hurt you ... you've got to know that. If I thought Megan was coming here, I'd have never initiated what I did tonight." Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I thought ... I thought maybe there was a chance for us. We have so much fun together, and when you didn't stop me, I assumed you wanted me, too."
Zinna felt sick inside--for betraying Megan's trust and for hurting Monica. She grabbed Monica's hand. "We need to talk about this," she sniffed. "Megan and I were lovers in high school and lived together until I moved here. I've never even let myself get close to another woman. I'll always be faithful to her." She looked at Monica's pained expression. "I told you that the night we went to Carmelo's for the first time ... remember?"