Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza: Delivery of Doom

Overview

When Luno's dad FINALLY gives him the responsibility of delivering pizza orders all over the galaxy, Luno is excited, mostly. He knows that delivering pizza is no walk on the moon. There are hostile customers, and there's always the threat of his deliveries being intercepted by Quantum Pizza, the fast-growing chain restaurant that will do anything to put indies like Zorgoochi Intergalactic out of business.

Luno is joined by his best friend Clive, a super-smart, talking clove of ...

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Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza: Delivery of Doom

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Overview

When Luno's dad FINALLY gives him the responsibility of delivering pizza orders all over the galaxy, Luno is excited, mostly. He knows that delivering pizza is no walk on the moon. There are hostile customers, and there's always the threat of his deliveries being intercepted by Quantum Pizza, the fast-growing chain restaurant that will do anything to put indies like Zorgoochi Intergalactic out of business.

Luno is joined by his best friend Clive, a super-smart, talking clove of garlic, and Chooch, a not-so-smart, talking pizza oven. Their deliveries are often dangerous (try landing on a fire planet) and sometimes frustrating. All Luno wants to do is help his dad keep the family business afloat. He realizes that the owner of Quantum Pizza wants the Zorgoochi family recipe, and only Luno can protect it.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
07/21/2014
Pizza delivery has never been as dangerous or exciting as in this whimsical first novel from author-illustrator Yaccarino (Doug Unplugged), in which Luno, the scion of an ancient and respected pizza-making family, faces an enemy bent on taking over the pizza industry for an entire galaxy. To stop the dreaded Vlactron, Luno must travel through time, master the Zorgoochi Pizza Toss, learn the Whey of Life, and locate the long-hidden Golden Anchovy. Luno’s allies are a neurotic, sentient pizza oven and a hyper-intelligent mutated garlic clove, while his enemies include deadly calamari, legions of enslaved insects, and a fleet of heavily armed pizza delivery ships. Cheap jokes and bad puns fly fast and furious (at one point, Luno meets the Mozzarella Monks, practitioners of Tai Cheese) as Yaccarino cooks up an action-packed slice with everything on it, including the anchovies. The humor is decidedly goofy, but the story’s charming sincerity makes it a delight. Yaccarino’s loose, cartoony illustrations appear throughout, and the characters’ exaggerated features and gangly limbs befit the frenetic, action-adventure plot. Ages: 8–12. Agent: Rebecca Sherman, Writers House. (Sept.)
From the Publisher

Praise for Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza:

“Plenty of spunk, with some seriously imaginative world-building and wisecracking absurdity.” —BCCB
 
“This is picture-book-creator Yaccarino's first middle-grade novel, and it comes with everything: aliens, robots, time travel, and wormholes are just the beginning . . . Yaccarino's hilarious illustrations are the final delicious topping.” —Booklist
 
“. . . A good choice for science-fiction fans with a taste for off-the-wall humor.” —School Library Journal
 
“Inventive . . .  readers with quirky senses of humor can look forward to being surprised.” —Kirkus Reviews
 
“The humor is decidedly goofy, but the story’s charming sincerity makes it a delight.” —Publishers Weekly

“Preheat your curiosity to 500° because Dan Yaccarino has rolled out an adventure of intergalactic proportions, covered entirely with a layer of saucy humor, sprinkled with an extra helping of cheesy wordplay, and topped generously with absolutely delicious illustrations. . . . I loved this meal! I can only hope that I'm offered another helping soon.” —Nick Bruel, New York Times–bestseller author of Bad Kitty

“Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza: Delivery of Doom is a supersonic flying-saucer ride through asteroid belts of adventure and light-years of laughs. I’ll have an Extra Large with Everything of Delivery of Doom.” —Mo O’Hara, author of the New York Times–bestselling Zombie Goldfish 

“Delivery of Doom is an endlessly inventive comic fantasy that breaks all the rules, in the best possible way.” —Dan Gutman, author of the My Weird School and Genius Files series

author of the New York Times–bestselling Zom Mo O'Hara

Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza: Delivery of Doom is a supersonic flying-saucer ride through asteroid belts of adventure and light-years of laughs. I'll have an Extra Large with Everything of Delivery of Doom.
New York Times–bestseller author of Bad Kitt Nick Bruel

Preheat your curiosity to 500° because Dan Yaccarino has rolled out an adventure of intergalactic proportions, covered entirely with a layer of saucy humor, sprinkled with an extra helping of cheesy wordplay, and topped generously with absolutely delicious illustrations. . . . I loved this meal! I can only hope that I'm offered another helping soon.
Kirkus Reviews
2014-06-25
There's a party game writers play from time to time. They'll try to improvise a story based on the objects in front of them in the room. If Yaccarino was playing that game, he got carried away and threw every item in his house into this story.This book is so inventive that every chapter—and sometimes every paragraph—is crammed with ideas. Most of the ideas involve pizza, because the main characters work for Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza, which is locked in a battle for supremacy with Quantum Pizza. Readers will learn about the "teleportation device that delivered pizza using radio waves, the liquid pizza that filled you up and quenched your thirst at the same time, and the pizza seed that could be planted and harvested." Unfortunately, in his debut as a novelist, the author/illustrator is less inventive when it comes to plot mechanics. The characters make remarkably stupid decisions whenever necessary to advance the story. Any readers who shout "Don't go in the basement!" when they're watching a horror movie will scream themselves hoarse. The pictures, however, make up for any flaws in the narrative. The black-and-white ink drawings look like technical illustrations from a textbook from the far future. If clip art really were art, it would look like this. The story is not for everyone. The characters include a superintelligent clove of garlic and a walking pizza oven. Readers with quirky senses of humor can look forward to being surprised—and then surprised again a few paragraphs later. (Science fiction. 8-12)
School Library Journal
08/01/2014
Gr 4–7—Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza has been a leading force in pasta innovation for more than 1000 years, from volcano-powered ovens to zero-gravity delivery boxes. Luno, 12, longs to continue the family tradition, but so far his inventions have been notably unsuccessful. Moreover, all of the family-run pizzerias of the galaxy are in trouble. The members of the independent Pizza Pyramid association strive to deliver fresh, hot food to hungry beings on far-flung worlds, but they are being overwhelmed by a giant chain operation. Quantum Pizza is undercutting their prices with cheap gimmicks and synthetic ingredients. Worse, the evil conglomerate is intercepting their ships and stealing their orders. When Luno sets out on his first interplanetary delivery run, he knows that the Zorgoochi family livelihood depends on a successful voyage. Unfortunately, the route includes stops on sizzling fire planets, frozen ice worlds, and a place where the carnivorous customers would rather eat him than the pizza—all the while dodging Quantum Pizza's laser-laden delivery rockets. Then Luno discovers that Quantum's megalomaniac CEO has bigger plans than just taking over the pizza trade. Vlactron is looking for the legendary Golden Anchovy that has the power to control the galaxy—and he believes that Luno can lead him to it. This wacky space adventure is stuffed with pizza puns and science-fiction allusions. Yaccarino's cartoons of weird space creatures, from robo-onions to the Yoda-esque Mozzarella Monks, are especially amusing. Similar in style to Jon Scieszka's "Time-Warp Trio" series (Puffin), but for a slightly older audience, this is a good choice for science-fiction fans with a taste for off-the-wall humor.—Elaine E. Knight, formerly at Lincoln Elementary Schools, IL
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781250008442
  • Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
  • Publication date: 9/30/2014
  • Pages: 336
  • Sales rank: 679,855
  • Age range: 8 - 12 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

Dan Yaccarino has written and illustrated numerous picture books, including The Belly Book and Kate and Nate Are Running Late! for F&F, and Every Friday for Holt. He's also the creator of the animated TV series Oswald and Willa's Wild Life. He lives in New York City.

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Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER ONE

Six Years Later

“Vake up, boy!” Roog shouted, smacking Luno on the head with his metal claw as he tried to toss pizza dough in the air.

“No good enough!” barked Roog. “Again!

Just like every morning, Luno tried to perfect the famous Zorgoochi Pizza Toss, and just like every morning, it was far from perfect. At least this time it didn’t stick to the ceiling.

“I have trained all Zorgoochi for last two hundred year,” barked Roog, “and you are vorst of all! Again!

Even though he could barely feel his arms, Luno tried again.

And again and again and again and again.

Luno began to think he wasn’t a Zorgoochi after all. Maybe there was a mix-up at the hospital and the real Luno Zorgoochi went home with another family and was out there somewhere tossing pizza dough perfectly.

And what would Dad think? How could Luno ever take over Zorgoochi Intergalactic Pizza with a crummy pizza toss?

In his zeal to master the Zorgoochi Pizza Toss, Luno went as far as to invent a pair of Memory Gloves, which he had his father wear when he tossed pizza dough. Once the microscopic circuitry recorded the movements of Geo’s nimble fingers, then all Luno had to do was slip them on and the gloves would do all the work.

Unfortunately, the Memory Gloves malfunctioned and tried to strangle Luno.

“Your fazzer, he master Zorgoochi Pizza Toss vhen he vas ten!” Roog growled. “You cannot take over pizzeria unlezz you do Toss perfek!”

Roog shook his head in disgust. He had helped train every generation of Luno’s family to make pizza since Solaro hired him, and from then on, he sort of came with the place. Luno had no idea how old Roog was, where he came from, or anything else about him other than he had a prosthetic metal claw from being wounded in the Great Pizza War of Deep Dish vs. Thin Crust, and liked to yell at him.

Every morning before school, Roog trained Luno in the basics of pizza making, including the dozens of hand signals, like baseball catchers used, to identify the different kinds of pizzas, as well as how to hold your breath underwater long enough to pick a bushel of Sea Garlic in the kitchen tank without drowning.

Every day after school Luno wrestled Cosmic Calamari, deflated Plutonian Pufferfish, and shucked giant snapping Space Clams, which was bad enough, but he also had a seafood allergy and had to wear a protective suit to handle them or he’d swell up like one of those Pufferfish he popped every day.

However, Luno still wasn’t entirely sure how dodging flying pizza cutters, walking across hot coals, or taking apart and reassembling a pizza oven blindfolded had anything to do with making pizza.

“You call dis meatball, boy?” shouted Roog as he pelted Luno with meatballs with microscopic imperfections. “Your grandfazzer Pomodoro, he made perfek meatball no vun could bear eet, they ver so beautiful! Again!

As Luno attempted to make perfect spheres of ground meat, he daydreamed about what it would be like to play sports, be in the school band, or just not have to work at his parent’s pizzeria every morning and afternoon, and now that school was over, for the entire summer. But his reverie was cut short by a strange feeling on his leg.

Luno looked down and his spine froze. A Saturnian Sausage with a hungry look in its eye was slithering up his pant leg!

“Vhat are doing, zilly boy?” Roog bellowed. “Dat zausage iz about to keel you! Dere is no time to be afraid!”

Luno pulled the sausage off and whipped it into a massive bubbling pot of Zorgoochi special tomato sauce.

“Maybe I forget to lock cage, eh?” Roog chuckled. “It vas accident, I tink.”

Roog seemed to have lots of “accidents,” but only when no one else other than Luno was around. No matter how many times Luno complained, his parents never believed him. Once, Roog “accidentally” knocked Luno into the laundry dryer and he was left spinning for an hour until his mother discovered him tangled up with the aprons. Another time, Roog “absentmindedly” locked him in the walk-in cryogenic freezer for two days. Luno had to keep moving or he would’ve been frozen solid. It took a whole week for his eyebrows to defrost.

Luno had the sneaking suspicion that Roog was trying to kill him.

One thing Roog didn’t yell at Luno about was his sense of smell. In fact, Luno was his school’s Smelling Bee champ five years in a row.

Roog threw Luno into a chair and blindfolded him. Then he passed different herbs under his nose.

“Basil!” Luno said. “Parsley, sage, cayenne pepper—ah-choo!”

Then Roog waved another leaf under Luno’s nose.

“Erba Zorgoochus.” Luno smiled.

Roog pulled the blindfold off.

“Not bad. You inherited nose from great-great-great-great-great-grandfazzer Solaro,” Roog grunted. “A nose like his only happens every six generation. You are lucky, boy.”

When Luno was younger and Roog told him that, he thought Roog only meant that he had a nose that was as super-sensitive as Solaro’s, but now that he was thirteen, it was starting to look like he also inherited a nose as big as his ancestor’s.

It also had its drawbacks. No matter how hard they tried, his parents were never able to successfully throw him a surprise birthday party because he could always smell the cake before he saw it.

“Okay, boy,” Roog said. “Time to make de pizza.”

Copyright © 2014 by Dan Yaccarino

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