20 New Year’s Resolutions for Book Nerds

If you’re a book nerd, you know the usual boring New Year’s resolutions just don’t work for you. The most popular resolutions every year are to lose weight, eat better, sleep better, meditate, drink less, exercise more, and save money. Sure, these resolutions are all generically “good” for you, but they’re also uninspired and uninspiring after a few months. Worst of all, they don’t involve any books!

We book nerds need goals that appeal to our literary sensibilities, and we need resolutions that address our idiosyncratic readerly ways. That’s why we’ve come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions just for book nerds. If you recognize yourself in any of these, maybe it’s time to become a new and improved book nerd in 2016!

  1. I will stop losing bookmarks.
  2. I will keep my “all-nighters to read a book from cover to cover” down to once a week.
  3. I will do things other than read on weekends. Things like interact with other humans, eat things other than cereal, absorb sunlight, and appreciate trees.
  4. I will give people who don’t read a chance. Maybe.
  5. I will conquer the 100 greatest novels of all time.
  6. I will choose a literary prize and read every book that has ever won that prize.
  7. I will be faithful to one book club, instead of joining five different ones and just reading whatever I want.
  8. I will shed 20 pounds from my bookshelves so they’re not straining under a potentially hazardous amount of weight.
  9. I will exercise more by walking around the bookstore five times before making my purchases.
  10. Before passing judgment on a genre of books, I will read three books in that genre first.
  11. I will read a book in another language, even if it’s “The Cat in the Hat,” by Dr. Seuss.
  12. I will organize my book collection in a way that other sentient beings can understand.
  13. I will diligently record every book I read this year and my thoughts on them.
  14. I will stop being late to things because I got distracted by a book.
  15. In fact, I will show up extra early to everything so I have time to read while waiting.
  16. I will stop judging people who see the movie before reading the book.
  17. I will stop recommending books with ultimatums like, “If you don’t love this book, we can’t be friends!”
  18. I will finally finish that one book I’ve tried to start four times already.
  19. I will keep one book on my nightstand instead of a tower of precariously piled hardcovers that could topple at any minute and crush me in my sleep.
  20. When my significant other reads a book I love, I will not sit and stare at them while they read. Nor will I keep asking, “Are you at (my favorite part) yet?”
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