Renée Watson on Love: An Exclusive Guest Post from the Author of Love Is a Revolution

“And even with all my flaws, I am enough
And I have failed but I am not a failure.
And love is patient and love is kind and love is not
just something to give away.
Keep some for myself.” —from Love Is a Revolution  
In Love Is a Revolution, Nala Robertson listens to these song lyrics by her favorite (fictitious) singer, Blue, on repeat. She sings along until the words become something she lives by, not just something she bobs her head to. She has messed up and there are many things she needs to work on, but she knows she is still worth loving. She is learning how to not only love others but love herself.
And what is self-love? When I was younger, I thought self-love was about having high self-esteem and about loving how you look and accepting your body. I do think that’s part of it. To be able to look in the mirror and love what you see is important, especially if what you see is not considered beautiful according to mainstream beauty standards. On my journey to self-love, I’ve grown to realize self-love is really about loving who you are. Not only what you look like. It is about accepting my physical attributes and working on the essence of who I am, the things no one can see.
My favorite definition of the word love is from a scripture in the Bible. First Corinthians 13 says, “love is patient, love is kind … It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” With that in mind, I ask: Do I truly love myself? Am I patient with myself? Am I kind to myself? How do I protect my heart, my time? Do I trust my instinct — that quiet voice that is trying to guide me to make the decision best for me? Am I making room to hope, to dream? Am I determined to never give up on myself?
I am falling in love with me — practicing grace and kindness towards myself. It is a process and like all relationships, it takes work. I am a whole person — not just legs and arms, belly and hair. I must take care of both my physical body and my being. Neglecting either is not loving my full self. And so, taking care of myself looks like many things: therapy, buying a new lip gloss that looks good with my complexion, taking naps, saying no, spending quality time with friends, looking to mentors for advice and encouragement, solo dance parties just because, long walks, crying when I need to, and most of all, being patient with myself and forgiving myself.
These are the ways I show myself love; this is how I practice body positivity. I remind myself that my body is sacred. It houses my imagination, my memories, my lungs, my heart. It is majestic and so am I.