Do you ever secretly worry, in the dark of night, that you’re a talentless hack? Well, worry no more—Miranda Sings is here with her hilariously amazing how-to guide to success, Selp-Helf! But before you start taking advice from some random stranger on the internet (even one as beautiful and talented as Miranda), you probably have a few questions. And we’re here to answer them:
1. Who is Miranda Sings?
Miranda is an incredibly talented young woman. She’s especially good at singing, but she also excels at dancing, dating, and doing other stuff. While she’s waiting to finally be discovered and share her talent with the world at large, Miranda’s kind enough to upload a weekly tutorial so we can learn to be as awesome and talented as she is.
2. No, but who is she really?
Miranda is the YouTube personality created by Colleen Ballinger as a satire of the many, many “stars” you’ll find on the web. She’s been around since 2008 and currently has over 500 million views and 4 million subscribers. Plus an awful lot of hair.
3. What is Selp-Helf?
Selp-Helf is Miranda’s book of advice for you, the average person. It’s full of step-by-step how-tos, personality quizzes, and even some fun activities (you’d better be prepared with a pair of scissors and maybe some glue). And with Miranda’s stellar personality behind it, you’ll hardly be able to put it down (unless you’re grabbing some cheese snacks).
4. So, Miranda is going to help me become a better person?
It would be impossible to read a book of advice by someone as smart and talented as Miranda without becoming a better person (unless you’re really, truly hopeless). But as long as you’re paying attention, you should pick up some tips on everything from dating to fashion to finances and everything in between (including children!).
5. Can I ever be as cool as Miranda?
No. Next question.
6. How did Miranda become so famous?
Soon after uploading her video “Free Voice Lesson” in 2009, she quickly went viral—and probably gained about a billion voice students. With her excellent singing voice (nobody does vibrato like Miranda), both fans, aka, “Mirfandas,” and haters, aka, “Those Jealous People,” alike can’t help but spread the word about Miranda.
7. Do I have to watch her videos before I pick up the book?
You don’t have to watch the videos, but trust us, you have a LOT to gain by checking out Miranda’s tutorials. Want to learn karate? She’s got it covered. Want to sing like Taylor Swift? Miranda can help you sing better. Want to be a superstar on social media? MIRANDA HAS BEEN THERE.
8. If I were going to watch her videos, where should I start?
Obviously the best thing to do would be to watch them all, start to finish. But since that would be a heck of a lot of videos and hours of time you could be spending READING MIRANDA’S BOOK instead, start here (because we both know your twerking skills could use some work). Then watch this one so you can be wowed by Miranda’s vocal technique. And then you can just click your way down the YouTube rabbit hole.
9. Is Selp-Helf just as good as the YouTube videos?
Even better. Why? The videos are great and all, but Selp-Helf is interactive. It has all the humor and skill of Miranda’s YouTube videos, without all the drawbacks of theiInternet—in other words, you can read it even when the power’s out or when all your coworkers complain about those “noisy video tutorials” they keep hearing from your cubicle. Bonus: no online haters to distract you.
10. I don’t think I really need Miranda’s help.
First off, that’s not a question. Probably you do need Miranda’s help because she knows things about grammar and such. And second off, HATERS BACK OFF.
Selp-Helf is available for pre-order now.