The Scariest Things to Find in a Borrowed Book

Used books

The polar vortex is on its way out, so let’s talk about the other things that give us chills. And what’s even scarier than having your face freeze to your scarf? Finding mysterious hairs and what you desperately hope is a chocolate stain in your used copy of Gone Girl. Here are 10 of the other worst things you can find in a book that other people have read (probably in the bathroom) before you:

Stapled-in fan fiction ending relying heavily on the heroics of a new character named Kevin.

Receipt for cat ether being used as bookmark.

Magical portal to another land! Which leads to the break room of your local Staples.

Unflattering photo of yourself sleeping.

The word “HAHAHAHA!” written in the margin next to every slightly funny part.

Post-it note to-do list reading “gym, tan, laundry.”

Book troll that makes you answer three questions before every chapter, and they’re all really uncomfortably personal questions.

Ghost of the author’s dead wife, who’s still really mad about her thinly veiled portrayal as a sickly henpecker.

The words, “Persuasion, now a major motion picture starring Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber.”

One-eighth of Tom Riddle’s soul.

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