You can admit it—you kiiinnndaa think you could’ve saved Anna Karenina—she’d be that good kind of crazy under your mellowing influence. Katniss is crushworthy (her temper, indecisiveness, and sulkiness are totally charming), Elizabeth Bennett’s pride never bothered you, and with a twirl of Sabina’s bowler hat and a few words about kitsch, you’re undone. But who’s your true literary love? Which novel should find a permanent home beneath your pillow? Take this quiz to find out:
1. My dream first encounter with a girl is:
a. At church, but you’ve both got one of the seven deadly sins in mind.
b. She’s the girl next door. One day you’ll admit your true feelings.
c. In a bar. Everyone wants to be her/be around her/talk to her. She talks to you.
d. In a bookstore. Meet-cute is 50/50 combative debate/veiled flirting.
e. At an underground club. She decks some handsy jerk. You compliment her technique.
2. Your biggest turn-off is:
a. She’s timid.
b. She can’t learn from her mistakes.
c. She’s uptight.
d. She’s lazy.
e. She’s predictable.
3. My favorite thing my lady does for me is:
a. Keeps my secrets.
b. Takes care of me.
c. Makes me feel alive.
d. Always seems to be there when I need her most.
e. Let’s me be myself.
4. The trait I most admire in a girl is:
a. Her courage.
b. Her good heart.
c. Her carefree spirit.
d. Her rational mind.
e. Her resilience.
5. My girlfriend’s favorite book/movie might be:
a. The Bible/The Piano
b. Twilight/Bringing up Baby
c. The House of Mirth/Party Girl
d. The Encyclopedia Britannica/Love Actually
e. Anything Kierkegaard/Hedwig and the Angry Inch
6. On a Sunday afternoon, my girl and I like to:
a. Turn off our phones. Stay in bed. That’s all you need to know.
b. Eat a big early dinner and go for a walk.
c. Cab to champagne brunches, meet new people, cause trouble.
d. Hang with family. We all get along.
e. Play dueling laptops. She’s working, I’m working. We break for burgers and fries.
If you answered mostly A’s, your literary girlfriend is Hester Prynne.
Passionate, willful, and fiercely independent is your flavor. Both virtuous and fallen and comfortable with that dissonance, Hester knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. (It’s you’re fault if you’re too chicken to run away with her and your illegitimate daughter.) If you’ve got the chutzpah to hang with her, being in Hester’s private world is empowering and exciting.
If you answered mostly B’s, your literary girlfriend is Emma Woodhouse.
Energetic, sweet, and a general delight to be around (for the most part), Emma’s learned not to be too much of a busybody and is ready to settle down into a pleasant Victorian marriage. With Emma, you get someone who loves and is devoted to you, and who genuinely likes to do good—if she gets carried away with a misguided scheme, you’ll happily steer her down a more reasoned path.
If you answered mostly C’s, your literary girlfriend is Lady Brett Ashley.
She’s intoxicating and intoxicated, uninhibited, and a magnet for men young, old, and emasculated by the Great War alike. Brett’s dalliances and incessant pursuit of good times mask her intelligence and her true feelings. Discovering what Brett really wants would likely make for a lifetime of frustration and fun, and you’re the man for the job.
If you answered mostly D’s, your literary girlfriend is Hermione Granger.
Hermione’s loyal, hardworking, brave and extraordinarily bright. Even though she’s lousy at quidditch and can get a little emotional, she’s someone you’d always want on your team. This nerdy good girl with a tough side is a keeper—and hey, she goes for Ron, so you totally have a shot!
If you answered mostly E’s, your literary girlfriend is Lisbeth Salander.
She’s the dangerous girl, the unpredictable, self-reliant, defiant, pocket dynamo with an eidetic memory and a penchant for punishing bad guys, hard. You’re down with that, and her subversive habits and illegal hacking, too. You might not know where she is all the time, or if she’s getting hit on by guys or girls at the bar, but after the events of Hornet’s Nest, Lisbeth’s learned to trust. She might be ready for a steady beau.
Who’s your literary ladyfriend?