Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ

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by Daniel Goleman, Goleman



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New York, NY 1995 Trade paperback New. Softcover print: CRM Sewn binding. Cloth over boards. Contains: Illustrations. Audience: General/trade.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780553095036
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 09/28/1995
Pages: 368
Product dimensions: 6.45(w) x 9.54(h) x 1.18(d)

About the Author

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., is founder of Emotional Intelligence Services in Boston, Massachusetts. For twelve years he covered the behavioral and brain sciences for the The New York Times, and has also taught at Harvard (where he received his doctorate). In addition to Emotional Intelligence, his previous books include Vital Lies, Simple Truths; The Meditative Mind; and, as co-author, The Creative Spirit.

Table of Contents

Part One: The Emotional Brain
Chapter 1: What Are Emotions For? ..... 3
Chapter 2: Anatomy of an Emotional Hijacking ..... 13

Part Two: The Nature of Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 3: When Smart is Dumb ..... 33
Chapter 4: Know Thyself ..... 46
Chapter 5: Passion's Slaves ..... 56
Chapter 6: The Master Aptitude ..... 78
Chapter 7: The Roots of Empathy ..... 96
Chapter 8: The Social Arts ..... 111

Part Three: Emotional Intelligence Applied
Chapter 9: Intimate Enemies ..... 129
Chapter 10: Managing with Heart ..... 148
Chapter 11: Mind and Medicine ..... 164

Part Four: Windows of Opportunity
Chapter 12: The Family Crucible ..... 189
Chapter 13: Trauma and Emotional Relearning ..... 200
Chapter 14: Temperament Is Not Destiny ..... 215

Part Five: Emotional Literacy
Chapter 15: The Cost of Emotional Illiteracy ..... 231
Chapter 16: Schooling the Emotions ..... 261

Appendix A: What is Emotion? ..... 289
Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind ..... 291
Appendix C: The Neural Circuitry of Fear ..... 297
Appendix D: W.T. Grant Consortium: Active Ingredients of Prevention Programs ..... 301
Appendix E: The Self Science Curriculum ..... 303
Appendix F: Social and Emotional Learning: Results ..... 305
Notes ..... 311
Acknowledgements ..... 341
Index ..... 343

Reading Group Guide

1. Emotional Intelligence proposes that empathy and other emotional skills can be taught--and that schools should teach students how to handle and express their emotions appropriately. However, a Time magazine cover story about emotional intelligence argued that, "The danger is that any campaign to hone emotional skills in children will end up teaching that there is a 'right' emotional response for any given situation." Do you believe it's appropriate--or possible--for schools to teach emotional skills to students? If parents don't teach these skills, and schools shouldn't, who should?

2. The book portrays a society suffering from a breakdown of emotional intelligence. It cites the following statistics: Violent crimes by young people are up by a factor of four over the past 20 years. Suicides have tripled among young people in the same period, and forcible rape has doubled. Though he acknowledges that factors such as poverty play a role in the creation of violent criminals, Dr. Goleman says, "Every time we read about another senseless murder, it's a sign of emotional intelligence gone awry." What current or recent events in the news strike you as possible examples of emotional illiteracy? Do you believe there's hope for improving our collective social life by teaching emotional skills to individuals?

3. Are women more emotionally intelligent than men? Dr. Goleman doesn't believe so. He finds that each gender has its emotional strengths and weaknesses. Women are trained to be more empathetic--thus, they are often better than men are at picking up "the subtle, unspoken emotional dimension" of communication. On the other hand, women are treated for depression at twice therate men are. Men are often better at managing their moods--a key component of emotional intelligence. What other patterns of strength and weakness might be attributed to the sexes, respectively? Do you believe boys should be trained to be more aware of others' moods? Do you think girls could be given skills that would help them be more optimistic? Do you believe there are innate differences in the emotional capacities of the genders?

4. Contrary to popular wisdom, Emotional Intelligence argues that venting anger--by yelling, for instance--can cause more harm than good. The author believes catharsis has an undeserved popularity as a method of handling anger. He cites studies which show that the net effect of lashing out is to prolong rage rather than to end it. Do you think it's desirable--or possible--to avoid emotional displays of anger? In what other ways can extreme frustration be expressed? Have you ever regretted an unplanned outburst of rage? Ever seen a tantrum produce a desired result?

5. According to the author, emotions are impulses which compel us toward--or away from--various courses of action. "Formal logic alone can never work as the basis for deciding who to marry or trust or even what job to take; these are the realms where reason without feeling is blind." He believes that gut reactions and intuitions are more than mere momentary whims, that they are sophisticated calculations based on a quick-but-careful review of past experience. Are your important life decisions based more on rationality, or on an emotion-based "gut instinct?" Can you recall any occasion when an instantaneous decision reached by your emotional circuitry steered you right ... or wrong?

6. A previous bestselling book, The Bell Curve, asserts that one's intellectual capacities are fixed: The Bell Curve's authors claim there's no way to transcend the IQ you were born with. Emotional Intelligence defines intelligence more broadly, positing that there is an emotional brain which greatly influences the workings of the rational brain, that both contribute to one's level of intelligence, and that emotional skills can be improved on. Which view of intelligence do you find more valid, and why?

7. Tests of aspects of emotional intelligence, such as "The Marshmallow Test, " have proven to be strong predictors of future success. Some four-year-olds who took "The Marshmallow Test" were able to restrain their desire for a treat in favor of a greater reward later. This triumph over the urge for immediate gratification turned out to have a far-reaching impact later in life. As high-school seniors, those who had "passed" the test "were more academically competent: better able to put their ideas into words, to use and respond to reason, to concentrate, to make plans and follow through on them, and more eager to learn. Most astonishingly, they had dramatically higher scores on their SAT tests." Given such evidence that emotional skills affect one's capacity for success, do you believe children should be given standardized tests which measure not just IQ, but also emotional intelligence?

8. The book offers compelling evidence that parents' degree of emotional skill goes far toward determining their childrens' level of emotional intelligence. Can you recall ways in which your parents enhanced or deterred the development of any of the five components of emotional intelligence (self-awareness; emotional control; self-motivation; empathy; handling relationships) in you or your siblings?

9. Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence; sensitivity to others' feelings is a prerequisite to developing strong relationships. Researchers believe that 90% of emotional communication is non-verbal. What are some examples of unspoken cues people use to express their feelings?

10. Dr. Goleman says modern medical care often lacks emotional intelligence. "Medicine's inattention to the impact of emotions on illness neglects a growing body of evidence which indicates that emotional states can play a significant role in vulnerability to disease and in the course of their recovery." He claims that "there are many ways medicine can incorporate new knowledge about the impact of emotions on health into its view of patient care." Have you, or has someone you know, experienced emotional insensitivity at the hands of medical professionals? How far should the health-care delivery system go in concerning itself with patients' emotion?

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Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 22 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
As a university professor of early childhood education with background in counseling psychology, I was ecstatic to discover this monumental book. I am now reading it for the third time, still marking informative bits of information to use in my lectures on child development. If all parents knew the information in this book when they first take their newborn babies home from the hospital, our world would be a much brighter place. If all teachers knew what is REALLY happening in children's minds, they would change their own behavior dramatically. The really good news is that even though our emotional learning is established in the very early years (and at this time we do not know how to alter the physiology of the emotional brain), WE CAN learn how to handle those emotional triggers. Thank you, Mr. Goleman, for giving us this power packed book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Great insight into emotions & how to deal with them & how they can work 'for' you & help you understand yourself & others, especially if you're having trouble or issues with others at work (or in general). Amazing relief. Good to know I'm not crazy & don't need to pay for counselor.
ClaudiaBrauer More than 1 year ago
Emotional Intelligence - by Daniel Goleman - One of the best books I have ever read!  I had the pleasure and the honor to translate into Spanish the original Emotional Intelligence scientific documents of Harvard University's Project Zero, way back when these concepts were totally foreign to most people.  I have re-read the book several times and it is still fantastic. "Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our "two minds"—the rational and the emotional—and how they together shape our destiny."
Guest More than 1 year ago
I love this book. It really shows you how the emotional response is achieved and the ingredients for emotional intelligence. read it!
m_cyclops on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The book has good information but you have to dig for it though a lot of data about how the brain works and education systems, which are interesting, but really distracting from what the main scope of the book should be, and that is how to improve your emotional intelligence.
nguyethuynh on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A very good reference about emotional intelligence
SharkRodeo on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Emotional and Social Intelligence have been the topic of many books in the past decade. Like all seminal books, Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" contains many interesting ideas, though in this case they are not entirely developed. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is different than normal "IQ" intelligence in that it concerns reading people, managing emotions, communicating effectively and generally being empathetic. The stereotype of the rocket scientist who can't relate to people (or get a date) comes to mind as illustrative of this difference. People with high EI, the book explains, do better in social relationships, have more friends, are better able to manage through life's challenges and perform better in school and the workplace (if IQ is held as a constant). The lack of EI education in schools is an increasing problem, Goleman explains, because the traditional social and familial roles and relationships that taught the skills to previous generations are changing (or more accurately, degrading). Those with low EI have less impulse control and are quicker to anger and acting out. This goes for children fighting in schools, to gang violence to domestic abuse. There is a fair amount of neuroscience talk in the book, focusing on the connections between different parts of the brain and how the different roles developed in the course of evolution and how many of these roles, once critical to our survival are no counterproductive. Acting without thinking would have saved your life in the days of the sabretooth tiger, but it can be a problem in the office. One major issue I had with this book was the lack of "how". There is a great deal of discussion regarding 'what' emotional intelligence is, 'when' it should be taught (younger is better), 'who' should learn it (everyone), and 'why' it should be taught (prevent violence, get better grades, be a better manager), but there is little more than the occasional anecdote regarding *HOW* to teach EI, to others or how to harness the lessons for yourself. For all the talk of the amygdala and its role in emotional life, there is little way for a person to control how this almond sized piece of the brain actually functions. Yet Goleman stresses repeatedly that EI an absolutely crucial skill. I found this very frustrating. Another issue with the book was that it seemed very clearly written for critics of the thesis. The repeated assurances that "no, really, EI is important!" became rather tiresome. Those of us who are reading the book already accept that, or at least are willing to suspend our disbelief for the time being, can we please move on? All in all, it's a good book with interesting ideas about an extremely important topic. However, it was not exactly what I was looking for and as such, I was quite disappointed. Goleman has other books that may be more practical regarding this topic, but other authors might be more up my alley. If you aren't familiar with what EI is, or you'd like to flesh out your understanding of it, I would recommend this book. If you have a fair understanding of it conceptually and would like exercises to improve your EI or teach someone else, this is not the right choice for you.
Silvernfire on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I'm pleased to see this book has held up rather well over the years: I was afraid that it might've become dated. I'd been told the book was all about how it was more important to be emotionally savvy than to have a high IQ, but that wasn't really Goleman's point. He talks about the brain chemistry behind emotions and how imbalances there affect us. He also examines how "emotional literacy" - teaching children to identify and handle their emotions - can help one handle life's pressures as a teenager and an adult. While I see why he focused on children, I wish he'd talked more about how emotionally illiterate adults can do to help themselves and what can be done to help them.
sheherazahde on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Well it's a great idea, but it's not "self help" he gives no solution to the problem!Luckily I found a couple of books that do have solutions: "Crucial Conversations" and "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Dummies". Both teach the skills you need if you don't have natural "emotional intelligence"
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Guest More than 1 year ago
AWESOME... especially liked the section on page 210 about emotional relearning and recovery from trauma. This should be taught in every school system at all grades and in preschool. It brings great hope for a better future and better world.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm wondering if there is a production problem with the audio CD. It genuinely sounds as if it's being read by a computer, with an odd separation between the words. It makes it very difficult to focus on 'what' is being said.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Good read
Rudrawar More than 1 year ago
This is a very good book to read. Recommended at least once for everyone.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Very good.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Goes back
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
* she puts her face in her hands*