Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage

Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage

by Gary L. Thomas


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Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
michelemorin More than 1 year ago
Wood stoves do not render their comforting warmth without regular tending. Fires must be coaxed along with frequent ministrations, and I never give this much thought — unless my good husband is away, for he miraculously tends to this important detail, and our house stays cozy and warm. Similarly, since the beginning of our marriage, he has changed the oil in our vehicles, paid our bills, balanced the checkbook, and locked the doors every night, leaving me with the delightful sense of being safe, cared for: cherished. Gary Thomas writes that this variety of practical love is reassuring to me because it demonstrates that our life together is a priority that is worthy of my good husband’s time and effort. Now, with his one-word title, Cherish, he challenges readers to go beyond merely loving our spouses and to live our way into a “marriage that feels more precious, more connected, and more satisfying.” Many marriage vows include a promise to “cherish,” but do we understand what that looks like from the perspective of our spouse, the cherished one? Gary unpacks the concept in terms of learned behaviors that can change everything in a marriage: Cherishing means learning to hold someone dear. The Message to the Cherished: “You don’t have to be anyone other than who you are.” When we allow our spouse to define “beauty” (or “handsome-ness”) in our minds, we have begun to rewind history to Eden when each was the “only one” in the world to the other. Choosing anew every day the one you chose on your wedding day is the antidote to disappointment, discontentment, and critical comparing. Cherishing means learning to showcase your spouse. The Message to the Cherished: “How can I support you today? How can I make your day better?” For the believer, this includes enhancing one another’s ministry opportunities. We want our beloved to shine! It is based upon the assumption that we have ended the love affair with ourselves. Gary uses the vivid example of a male ballet dancer rejoicing in the standing ovation a ballerina receives because he has “supported, tossed, caught, turned, and showcased” her. It’s all about helping your spouse to realize his/her potential in the world. Cherishing means noticing and honoring each other. The Message to the Cherished: “I will put your needs above everything else.” Here’s the truth in a nutshell: “You can honor someone without cherishing them, but you can’t cherish someone without honoring them.” Wives will feel noticed if their words are taken seriously; husbands are looking for physical affection. For either gender, we honor our spouses when we take an active interest in what interests them. Cherishing is about protecting each other and killing contempt. The Message to the Cherished: “When I scan you, I will be looking for something to praise – not to criticize.” Gary traces the tragic journey from newlywed infatuation through disappointment, frustration, and bitterness to contempt, which is the single biggest threat to a marriage’s survival and happiness. Practicing fierce gratitude is the antidote to contempt. Cherishing teaches us to indulge our spouses and, thus, to help heal their spiritual wounds. The Message to the Cherished: “I am committed to your healing and wholeness.” When we nurture our spouse, we provide a picture of God’s cherishing heart. We make our spouse’s needs a priority and work to discover what actions we . . .Finish reading at Living Our Days!
Teadrinker More than 1 year ago
Traditional wedding vows often have spouses vowing to love and to cherish each other. However, if you are like me, you remember that you are to love each other but that word, "cherish" can get lost in the day to day life after saying those vows. Cherish by bestselling author Gary Thomas helps spouses understand just what it means to truly cherish their spouse. Cherish offers a lot of practical insights and advice to living a better life as a couple, cherishing your spouse and making your marriage better then you could imagine. Throughout the book, Thomas shares stories from his marriage, from other couples and wisdom from the Bible to help you better understand the art of cherishing your spouse. This book is easy to read and understand. . .and honestly helps you want to cherish your spouse better each day as you read through it. I have to say Cherish was such a helpful book for me on marriage. I could see so many ways that I could better cherish my husband after reading this book. I could also see how that could help our marriage be better all the way around. I highly recommend Cherish to everyone and anyone who is married or who wants to be married. I think this book would make an excellent wedding gift. I wish I had had this book earlier in our marriage so I could have better understood how to cherish my husband sooner. I also have to add that the story in the epilogue left me in tears and left me wanting that kind of lifetime marriage. I also like how Thomas ends the book, "If it pleases God, may this book multiply such stories until his church is filled with husbands who deeply cherish their wives and wives who eagerly and generously cherish their husbands until the very end." I hope with Thomas that Cherish does indeed bless many couples with that kind of marriage. I received this book from Zondervan. I was not required to write a positive review in exchange for the book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cherish is the marriage book that just might eliminate the need for other marriage books. Gary hits the target of why we struggle, challenging our understanding of the gospel core of our marriages. "When you feel cherished by God, it follows that you want to cherish others." Cherish is the missing element in good marriages that want to be great, and struggling marriages that want to thrive.This will be one you read over and over.