I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

by Joshua Harris

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I Kissed Dating Goodbye 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 59 reviews.
Teresa_Konopka More than 1 year ago
With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relationships must be pure and done out of love and service to the other person. To have no interest in marriage or commitment is just wasting the other person's time and emotions. Fascinatingly, at the end of the book, he alluded to his sequel where he accounts for how he met and courted--yes, I just used that word--his wife. Bible is quoted, and the pages fly by in this captivating book. What striked me the most was how Harris said we can grow in God's love in our singleness (something I've even seen in other relationships people have). The point of being selfless and not selfish will really hit home with readers. To truly stare at Christ is not to be worked up over members of the opposite sex, sizing them up and fantasizing about potential mates. No. Harris tells us to love our neighbors, pursue holy righteousness, be selfless, and trust God to work out his plan. Splendid.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was so disappointed to see that the study guide (and not the actual book) was offered in Nook format. Please, consider creating a Nook version, I so very much need to have this with me at all times!
Arias_Myles More than 1 year ago
I Kissed Dating Goodbye doesn't just tell you that dating is bad, or tell you courtship is the only way to go. It doesn't tell you to avoid the opposite sex entirely. Joshua Harris instead encourages "a new attitude toward romance and relationships". Throughout the book, the author reminds readers that "the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment". He points out problems with today's dating habits and ways to avoid this. Rather than following this up with a list of rules, he instead talks about what the true definition of love is and how we should enjoy the time we have as a single and use it for God's glory. He talks about viewing marriage properly, and not basing our affections on mere appearances but instead on character. He mentioned some "little acts" of a person's character to look for, which I found extremely helpful. Not only are they things to look for in a person, but also things we should work on in our own lives. I Kissed Dating Goodbye is not necessarily about dating vs. courtship as much as it is not pursuing romantic relationships until the proper time. Whatever your views on dating/courting, and whether you are currently dating or not, there are many helpful tips to be found in this book. I Kissed Dating Goodbye is definitely a book I would recommend. I received this book free from the publisher and am not required to write a positive review.
s-v More than 1 year ago
The title grabbed my attention, so I began to read it. I could not believe what I was reading. Josh Harris showed me a different perspective about dating and relationships. His book is inspiring. I enjoyed reading it.
J_Alfred_Prufrock More than 1 year ago
A good book tackling the issue that plagues many a youth group in churches today. With a revolving door of teens dating for the sake of dating, Harris does a good job pointing out the pitfalls that plague this line of dating. Instead of finding fulfillment through others, he points to finding fulfillment first through God. Then, you will be in a position to fulfill the needs of others and also date with purpose. The purpose of finding your future spouse.
asyl2012 More than 1 year ago
In Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," he discusses a subject many people like to avoid. That subject is dating... I'm sure many think this guy is crazy, I mean who ever heard of "today's" people not wanting to date. Joshua advises us how to just be friends in a just do it world, while still having fun with the opposite sex. He gives 7 habits of highly defective dating... 1) Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship. 2) Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love. 3) Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships. 4) Dating can distract young people from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future. 5) Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness.  6) Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character. 7) Dating often becomes an end in itself.  Joshua doesn't leave us hanging though, he gives us 5 ways to avoid defective dating as well... 1) Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love.  2) My unmarried years are a gift from God. 3)  I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I am ready for marriage.  4) I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage. 5) I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or mind.  There are many different views of dating. There are people who date... date... and date. They aren't ever content unless they have that boy or girlfriend. Some think dating is fine as long as everything stays within their bounds. Many have good intentions and it may very well be that the one you are dating is going to be your future spouse. But the question is this, why even date when you aren't ready for marriage? The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Joshua discusses these issues and many more including purity, romance, and the gift of singleness. This book was quite an eyeopener and is definitely something you should consider reading. But in the end the choice will be up to you, will you "kiss" dating  goodbye? I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books and have given my honest opinion of this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book, full of useful information, easy read, changes how one see's things
Guest More than 1 year ago
This was an eyeopening book, that has an unusual, but much needed perspective on dating. I didn't whole-heartedly agree with every single thing, but most of the things and the book overall were amazing! It helped my perspective on dating, men, and my own relationships with those around me as well as with God.
julesnpebbles on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I really wish I read this book while I was in college. Can you imagine if more young Christians would commit their love lives to the Lord and carefully conducted themselves to honor Christ? Can you imagine if young believers would trust God for their future mate instead of taking it into their own hands and dating 20 people in order to find the 'right one'? I liked the book "When God writes your love story" by the Ludys better but this one is definitely one to read.
GoodGeniusLibrary on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a must read for every beginning teen. WARNING: This book should only be read by teens who have been educated about s*x as there is appropriate, non-expicit, discussions of f*replay. In fact, every parent should read this book first before giving it to their teen to read. I wish I had read this book when I was a teen as I had similar thoughts about dating and physical activity, but I did not have it so well spelled out and formulated and it would have helped me know better and live stronger in those convictions that I had not quite formed.Whether or not you agree with Christianity, or whether or not you agree with Joshua Harris' ideas, I guarantee you will find very useful thoughts and ideas to consider when dealing with the opposite sex.
padame on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye. Dating. Isn¿t there a better way? I kissed Dating Goodbye suggests there is. Reorder your romantic life in the light of God¿s Word and find more fulfillment than a date could ever give¿a life of sincere love, true purity a purposeful singleness.
ieJasonW on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a silly book, for sure. When will we, as a culture, accept that it is not dirty for people to express themselves sexually -- and here's the hardest part for many to accept -- outside of marriage? Take, for example, a couple that has been dating for three years starting at age 18. This book advocates the 21 year-olds to not have sex unless they are married. I contend that it is strange for two adults to be in a monogamous relationship for years and not have sex. In fact, I think it is strange to expect people to treat sex as if it is dirty (I'm referring to the phrase sexual purity) until they are married. Sex doesn't change once you're married. Only your commitment to other people does.Moreover, why do so many Christians feel as if reading books like this makes them better Christians? When you die and go to the pearly gates - is God going to care that you read many of these books? Or have you read and studied the Bible? My questions aren't to upset anyone but rather to point out that many people would rather read Mr. Harris' book than read the Bible. Which seems silly. Why not read the Word of God? Isn't that important?
deferredreward on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I resisted reading this book a lot. Mostly because I've encountered some very smug "we do courtship!" type of people who think date is a four letter word. If you have those qualms about reading this book, just pick it up & read the introduction - he isn't that extreme. Later on in the book there's a great chapter about how to talk about your not dating without putting people off. Because of my own life, I've actually come to many of the same conclusions that Joshua reaches, so my hesitation to read his book was really a disservice to him, though I don't know how I would have responded had I not already come to most of his conclusions before reading the book. He is concerned that we do not view dating purity as a specific line in the sand, be it intercourse, kissing or something else physical, but as a total mindset that says "I have no right to emotional or physical intimacy with someone unless I'm ready to be married to that person (& for most levels of intimacy AM married to that person)." He challenges people not to waste their time & energy of singleness on a pursuit of romantic involvement that does not lead to a lasting commitment, so if you aren't ready for marriage, don't hurt yourself or others by playing at marriage & toying with emotions & purity. Take advantage of singleness, work hard at what you need to do to get ready & get ready. He outlines ways in which one can prepare yourself for marriage - the real work that is marriage. (When he first wrote this, he wasn't married, but, as I have been married, he's got some really great points!) He points out the need to examine someone's character, to get to know them, serving alongside them or engaging in other activities with them, mostly as a group, where the focus isn't one another, it's that other thing you have in common.This is a really great book & I think much regret & pain could be spared young people by reading it & taking what he has to say seriously. There's no point in wrapping your heart around someone when you are in your teens, it probably won't work out & you'll have lost a chance to have a friendship with that person, or all the other people you ignored while dating. Read it, listen to him, he's on the right track.
Rozax on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I would recommend this book to any young adult who is unsure as to how one should approach the realm of dating. Unlike the title suggests, the reader is not encouraged to completely forego the search for that special someone.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
PlantsandPillars More than 1 year ago
A book that challenges our culture. A book that equips young adults to fight for purity. A book with practical, sound advice. A book founded on the Lord's commands. And a book that you will read over and over again. I Kissed Dating Goodbye was written by Joshua Harris at the age of 21. His book opened new ideas for dating and relationships. He wrote simply and he wrote from his heart. He challenged and impressed people. I recommend that every young adult read this. I, personally, have never dated (so I didn't have to kiss that goodbye), but it had wonderful, bublical advice for helping your dating friends. Joshua reminds us constantly that we are to seek the Lord and remain humble as we make different decisions from our friends. It is very convicting. I highly recommend this book. Please be aware that some adult topics are discussed. While they are handled with grace and maturity, parents will want to preview. Score ~ ¿¿¿¿¿ Violence ~ None Indecency ~ 4 (with parental guidance) Language ~ None Age Appropriateness ~ 15 and above
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a young Christian woman, I loved this book! Christian parents will also love this book. It makes a perfect present for your teenagers and anyone looking for love. This book is about waiting, of course. It is not offensive or too much for a teenager and shouldn't turn them off. It doesn't tell you like a bossy know-it-all adult, so it isn't offensive to the reader. In fact, it makes waiting for love beautiful. I recommend this book for all those singles out there. I am 27 and still waiting for my love. I am happy to wait and this book inspires me to continue waiting.
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The_BibliophileJM More than 1 year ago
Joshua Harris brings us an amazing book that, if you let it, will reshape your love life entirely. And I mean that in a good way!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Thank you, God! I am so grateful that someone is getting the message out about a better standard for relationships. This book changed my life and my outlook; I would probably be in a different place spiritually and emotionally were it not for the Lord speaking to me through this book. It offers a timeless view on relationships applied to recent situations, and challenges the reader to reevaluate how we interact with the opposite sex. The book is not there to make you feel guilty or impose a one-way mindset on you; rather, it's purpose is to illuminate what the Lord had in mind and make you able to make an informed decision about relationships. The book is full of real-life stories, tips, Scripture, and more.Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris's second book, offers tips on how to Kiss Dating Goodbye, but Say Hello to Courtship. It is very encouraging to read that courtship and not dating does truly work, and it produces a beautiful, God-honoring relationship. I encourage everyone to read both of these books; they will change your life. I was reluctant at first to let go of my worldly perspective, but I have found so much more joy treating guys as brothers in Christ. Pray about it, give it a try!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago