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Waking Up an Empath

A Year in the Life of an Empath from Awakening to Spiritual Healer

Balboa Press

Empath

It all started with a book.

Fiction of course, as that's the type of book I have always read for entertainment. Paranormal romance is my favourite genre and if it includes witches or vampires, I will most likely read it.

It was Labour Day weekend in September, 2014, and we decided to go camping. I wanted to "rough it" in an effort to spend quality time with my fiancé, Tyler, and my son, Seth. Mind you, our version of roughing it consisted of a tent with an air mattress, bins of food, lots of clothing and bedding, and fixings for smores. You know, First World roughing it!

We selected a quiet campsite in British Columbia with lots of tress, a lake, and luckily for us, NO BUGS. The most pleasant surprise for me was having no cell phone reception. I had wanted an electronics-free weekend, but Tyler refused to turn his cell phone off in case he received a business call, and Seth wasn't excited about the idea either, because as he put it, "I might get bored." I had to hide my smirk when we realized we had zero cell reception. I had gotten exactly what I wanted - family time with my boys.

Tyler always drove any long-distance car journey, while I used my iPad, and Seth kept entertained with various electronics. I had been reading a novel on my iPad called Haunted on Bourbon Street by Deanna Chase. This was the book that changed my life.

The storyline itself is entertaining, but not important to my story. But the main character of the book is an empath. I had never heard that word before. I have read tons of paranormal books; so many in fact that I thought I should have seen that description before. How odd that I was resonating with this character described as an empath! How could she be so much like me? This is fiction! This makes no sense to me.

We had a wonderful weekend of camping and did many touristy activities in nearby towns. We toured a real mine at Sullivan Mine with a retired miner. We went for a ride on an old-fashioned steam engine at Fort Steele. I walked along the edge of the lake in the water nearly losing my sandal in some silt, only to have Seth follow behind me and do exactly the same thing. We made smores, played crib, tossed a ball, built a fire, and enjoyed being outdoors together. Seth had an incident of vomiting during a play the campground put on, and he had to escape fast before he could act out his part, but thankfully he felt better after. All the while, as everything unfolded on our trip, the word empath stuck in the back of my mind like an echo haunting me, teasing me.

We drove home on Monday, at our leisure. We stopped in at Turtle Mountain Franks Slide and did the tour, which was utterly depressing. I read a few of the survivors' stories and could not prevent the tears, so I avoided making eye contact with the other tourists. There was a mini movie playing so Tyler, Seth, and I watched it. Seth and I had tears running down our faces at the end. I jokingly asked if he had got dust in his eyes too, which earned me a smile. It was not a place to go for a 'feel good happy go lucky time' that's for sure. I was disturbed to see people wandering over the rocks from the slide where the people of the town were buried. I told Tyler and Seth we would NOT be doing that as it felt disrespectful and creepy.

Back on the road again, Seth plugged his ears in as soon as possible and tuned out everything but his movie. I grabbed my iPad when we had service again. I HAD to look up that word EMPATH.

Internet Search: Empath

There were so many hits! So much information on this one word I had never heard before.

"30 traits of an empath (How to know if you are an empath)" published by the Mind Unleashed on October 24, 2013 by Chistel Broederlow.

On my first read, it appeared I had 25 of the 30 traits listed.

"Tyler! Check this out," I exclaimed.

I read it to him and he agreed that yes, I had those traits.

There were lots of quizzes, so I filled out quiz after quiz and they all said the same thing "You are an empath" How can this be? Empaths are only fictional characters, aren't they?

I felt so confused.

I continued reading and sharing my findings with Tyler. The descriptions explained so much about me.

You see, I had always thought of myself as an atheist. I never believed in god, religion, or anything. I was skeptical of anything and everything I could not see with my own eyes. The things I could not explain or that could not be explained by science, okay sure, MAYBE there was a higher power. It didn't matter to me either way. I wasn't going to concern myself about the possibilities. I was convinced that when you die that is it. You were done, no more, dust to dust, and food for the bugs.

I had very little experience with death or the loss of loved ones. I barely knew my grandparents and great grandparents on my mother's side, so when they passed on I felt very little loss. I had not attended a funeral until I was an adult, and even then it was an acquaintance from work. The sadness at the funeral felt unbearable more because I mourned for the living, not the lost.

Religion to me seemed like the cause of so much fighting and wars. I saw people claiming religion was behind their actions of judgement and criticism, but it was their right because they were god-fearing folks. The concept of heaven and hell seemed more like a way to control people. As a teenager, I attempted to relate to and understand religion by joining my best friends at their family's church. I also joined the church youth group. I desperately wanted to belong somewhere, and to be a part of a community. I yearned to fit in and be a part of something bigger than me. And above all, I desired to be surrounded by love. While I found most of that, I also found judgement, ego, and unhappiness. If you didn't fit into a specific category then you were flat out wrong. If you divorced you were wrong. It was so black and white with no shades of grey. It didn't feel right for me, so I began to forge my own path. I knew I could be ethical, loving, and accepting of others without god or religion. I decided to follow my instincts and trust myself instead. I was a firm believer that religion had a purpose, and I knew it helped a lot of people, but for some reason, it wasn't right for me.

So as I sat in the car learning about empaths, it felt right, but it also meant believing in something bigger than myself. After all this time could I do that? I was 36 years old at this point and I thought I knew myself. I thought I had established my beliefs or lack of, so why did my being an empath sound and feel so right? I've never had a sense of belonging in this world. I always felt different than other people my age, especially as a child, but I could never explain why. To finally learn there was an explanation which meant I wasn't crazy was a big relief.

My first thought when 'I knew' I was an empath was, Great! Now how do I get rid of it? I don't want to be like this anymore. That was September 1, 2014.

Before I go any further I should explain what an empath is. According to Tyler J Hebert; "An empath is a person that is hypersensitive to the emotions and energy of other people, as well as animals. They have the ability to physically feel the emotions of a person/animal standing within their auric field."

No one can say without a doubt exactly what makes a person an Empath. I provided a quiz at the beginning to help you determine if you are or not, based on what I know about most empaths but one thing I have learned is that not all empaths are exactly alike. Here are a list of my empath traits based on what I learned that day:

* Crowds overwhelm you

You start out your day feeling great! You want to go to the mall and do a little shopping or go to a concert, maybe you thought you would go to the fair. Yet not even 10 minutes after being in a large group of people you start to get tired, irritable and achy. You're totally miserable and you just want to go home.

* Moodiness

Your moods change so quickly, often for what seems like no reason at all. You grasp to find a reason and blame whatever comes to mind. It feels like you are on an emotional roller coaster and you just want off.

* Pensive/Dreamy

This will happen most often if the person you are listening to has a monotone voice. With no inflections in their voice you drift away. You may have had difficulty in school because you couldn't stay focused during lectures. You get lost in your thoughts.

* Stranger's approach you

Strangers will walk up to you and start telling you very personal things about themselves and their lives. People on the bus will sit beside you and share things you didn't ask about. People on the street feel safe asking you for the time, directions or for help.

* Unable to watch or read the news

You find it unbearable to watch the news because of the sad stories. If you overhear it by accident, it upsets you the entire day. You can't read the news because the images of violence and pain disturb you deeply. You skip to the comics and ignore the rest.

* Violence is agonizing

You are unable to watch violence on TV or in the movies. Horror movies are just not an option. You feel traumatized every time you hear or see anything related to abuse or cruelty.

* Awareness of others emotions

You know how others feel (often better than they do themselves but I highly suggest you never point this out). You sense the underlying emotions of people and animals even if they attempt to hide it.

* Knowing that someone is lying

You can usually tell when someone is lying on purpose. You get a bad "feeling" about what they are saying or you can sense that their emotions don't match their words or actions.

* Low Energy

You will experience bouts of fatigue for what appears to be no reason. You are in good health, yet you tire easily. You may go through periods of depression.

* Clutter and disorder affects your energy

You quickly learn that a messy, untidy space affects your energy. When everything is clean and organized you automatically have more energy and the atmosphere just feels healthier.

* Attracted to jobs that involve healing or entertainment

This is not true for everyone but I've found many Empaths seem to be drawn to healing type work like spiritual healers, nurses, doctors, medics, counselors etc. I've also noticed that many gravitate towards the entertainment industry such as acting, musicians, artists, writers etc.

* Sense energy in food

Most commonly experienced with meat, an Empath can sometimes sense how the animal died and the trauma of it literally leaves a bad taste in their mouth. They can actually taste the fear of the animal. This causes many to become vegetarians or vegans. For other foods it may be how the foods were treated during processing.

* Experience others physical symptoms

Some Empaths can take on the physical symptoms of others such as headaches for example. I find this most commonly happens with loved ones or anyone close to the Empath.

* Highly sensitive skin

Those little tags sewn into your clothes drive you insane! Certain fabric hurt your skin because they are too rough. Common household chemicals like scented soaps and dryer sheets cause reactions on your skin.

* Watches die a slow death

You've given up on wearing a watch because they never keep the right time or they slowly but surely die not matter how many times you replace the batteries and the watch.

There may be many more traits of an Empath, nevertheless these are the ones that I can identify with and if you can too, then chances are you are an Empath.

I'm not one to ignore the facts when they are staring me in the face but this was a lot to wrap my head around. After a night of sleeping on it, I realized I had been this way my whole life. I'd simply gotten used to being 'different' and as I got older (past those difficult teenage years), I was even proud to be different.

My first thought was, How can I get rid of this ability? Yet the next day I came to realize that giving up all these traits or abilities would be the same as walking around completely blind and defenceless, because for me that's exactly what it would feel like. I would no longer know when people were lying to me. I may not have known it at the time but I had relied on these gifts since I was born. They were a part of me, in the same way my limbs are a part of me. These gifts had protected me, and saved me from untold pain, which when I think back makes me shudder at the possibilities.

So once I reached that conclusion I knew I needed to learn what it meant to be an empath. Thank goodness for the internet! Everything I wanted to know was right at my fingertips. One article led to another and then another. Each topic generated more questions and another word to look up. I soon learned there was more than one type of empath. It seemed I was an 'Emotional Empath I also discovered that empaths are natural healers, which means an emotional empath can heal others emotionally. You cannot learn to be an empath; you're born that way. I verified that I am a healer by the vertical lines underneath both my pinky fingers, as the palmistry website I came across explained. It was stated that this may be hereditary, so out of curiosity I checked Tyler's hands. He had no vertical lines. Then I checked my mom's hands and she had vertical lines like mine.

I researched palmistry some more but I found it very complicated and soon got bored with it. Shortly after I found a closed groups on Facebook for empaths so I immediately requested to be added to the group but it took three days. At first I read the comments and posts. Most were positive, supportive, and helpful. It was especially helpful to know there were others out there like me. One of the first suggestions I got when I finally posted a comment was to get some crystals for 'grounding' and 'protection.' I asked where I could buy such items, and I was told any metaphysical store. So I returned to the internet search and I found there were two metaphysical stores in Calgary.

Who knew?

Not me, apparently.

Ascension and Crystals

That same day, I went to a metaphysical store in Calgary. The store smelled nice, was decorated in pretty colours, and it seemed comforting. However, the products were unfamiliar to me. I wandered around touching and picking up things, until finally I admitted I had no idea what I was looking for and I asked the sales clerk for some suggestions. I explained I had only found out I was an empath two weeks ago and I felt lost. By the time I left the store I had four black tourmaline crystals for protection, which I was told to put at the four corners of my bed to protect me while I slept. I had white sage to burn around the house to clear negative energy, and I had a book. The total cost was under $30. I picked up the book "Heal Your Body" by Louise Hay that I had bought and I flipped through it a few times, then I read the first chapter, then I skim-read it, but none of it made sense to me, so I put it aside and later lent it to a friend.

I put the stones at the corners of my bed as I was told. I also remembered I had five pink Rose Quartz crystals and I placed them with the black Tourmaline crystals. Then when my mom went to bed I lit the sage. The windows were open so the negative energy could flow out. I felt silly but I walked in a clockwise manner as described and said my intentions under my breath. I wanted the negative energy OUT, to make room for only positive energy. I kept repeating this until I heard my mom say from upstairs, "Do you smell something burning?"

"Yes," I said rather sheepishly. "I'm burning sage." I fully expected the next question to be why? However, to my surprise she said, "Okay" and then there was silence once more. I figured she was used to my weirdness.

I cleared the main floor and the upstairs, getting in each nook and cranny as best as I could. The smoke bothered my throat a little and the smell reminded me of burning marijuana, but I didn't let that deter me. I opened a window or door on each floor to let the negative energy flow out. My fiancé sat quietly on the couch not at all bothered by my activity. When my rabbit smelled the smoke she became a little distressed by it. To her I'm sure it meant danger and she thumped on the floor a few times to let us know she was agitated.

That night I slept like a log! I had not slept that well in ages. Ever since my son was born I've struggled with insomnia or waking during the night. I've also suffered from night terrors, even as an adult. I get nightmares like everyone else, but actual night terrors are different. I've read that only kids have them and they grow out them. I've always been a night owl too, so I never seem to fall asleep at a decent time. I don't know if it was the sage or the stones/crystals nor did I care. I was so grateful to feel rested the next day, I knew I had to get more crystals and I was more than willing to try some other new things.

Someone on Facebook told me some people can feel the energy in crystals. That each crystal has its own 'vibration' that can be used to aid in healing, and many other things. I had to try it so I held some crystals, but I felt nothing. I was a little disappointed. I purchased the ones that caught my eye. I loved the multitude of colours and shapes. I felt like I was choosing and holding treasure. It might seem silly but having these crystals made me smile and that was enough.

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Excerpted from Waking Up an Empath by Kim Wuirch. Copyright © 2017 Kim Wuirch. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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