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Introduction

When Did You Die?

How to Recognize When You're Dying a Bit Every Day

The secret of life is not whether we will live or die; it is the parts of ourselves which we allow to die while we are living.
—Gary Busey, Hollywood actor, who was given this message when he had a near-death experience in a motorcycle accident

We are walking our path in paradoxical times. We hear that the world is waking up, yet we read every day that another life or many lives have been taken by senseless tragedies. We evolve with technology yet ponder how to stay connected. We have prepackaged foods yet struggle to take care of ourselves. We have more knowledge but seem to know less. We believe in dreams yet have difficulty believing in our own. We long to believe in God or something larger than ourselves, yet we do not seem to understand that the way to God is by loving what is closest to us.

We have more wealth, yet in so many ways we are still poor, and many of us are longing for a life of meaning, value, and purpose. We long to have a message and an understanding of life that allows us to be heard, recognized, and discovered for who we truly are. We long to matter, and as a teacher of mine many years ago always said, 'We are here not to solve all the problems of the world but to not be one of the problems of the world.'

We have become a 'me' or 'what about me' generation, yet we do not innately understand that there is not a true me expressing in most of us. We are programmed and robotic rather than innately being who we are destined to be.

All of us long to be appreciated and valued. We long to be seen and heard. Until we see and hear our own inner voices and callings, we will simply continue to die a little each and every day.

I wrote this book because I have come to understand that our experiences and challenges play a major role in our development. I am the same person now that I was at five years old—a person who 'survived myself' long enough to understand the difference between our earthly birth story and the magic and miracles of our sacred creation story. I understood that embracing my Creator offered me the crayons for the amazing coloring book of my own life. I somehow finally understood that the anger and disconnected feelings I had carried most of my life really weren't anger with and disconnection from the Creator but were anger with and disconnection from myself.

The only difference between who I was then and who I am now is that I have given myself total permission to be vulnerable and real and not be concerned with what someone else thinks of me. I believe I was born to write this book, and from my living a little and dying a little (a lot of dying a little, actually), I have become more awake and a little wiser. I believe that life is simple but that because of our inability to see how natural our paths are destined to be, we have made life hard and complicated.

We are living in a time in our society when we need to move beyond scratching the surface by sharing platitudes and clichés and bumper sticker truths. We need teachings of depth and practical applications to show us how we can die many times in a lifetime and how, with our permission and willingness to do so, we can stop dying all these times and truly live. We all long to become fully present and alive. It is our true sacred creation story.

We often fear or avoid the call of death within our lifetimes, hoping that science will create a magic pill or potion so that we will not have to exit this go-round. Death will be our ultimate gift to the life we have lived. We can deny it, yet the key secret to life—the magic code—is realizing that being born and dying are not once-in-a-lifetime events.

We actually choose life or death on a daily basis. And while we are determined to avoid aging and avoid the truth that we will die, we miss out on the greatest performance of all time: not dying while we are living.

In this book you will learn how to choose life over death every day. You will learn to wake up, to celebrate your life, and feel the excitement you were born to express.

The Many Layers of Dying a Bit Every Day

Many people do not realize that there are many layers of being asleep and dying while we are living. We are so caught up in the motions of living, eating, working, and making and keeping appointments that we don't realize that we died to our potential a long time ago. We have become robotic! How do you know whether you've been dying a bit every day? One key way is to notice if you are feeling disconnected or drained rather than energized or impassioned about your life. Listed below are a number of life events which can happen to us and we lose energy in our bodies if we have not spiritually or emotionally handled them to find a sense of peace. Please take some time to evaluate real moments in your life and consider the questions below to see which ones apply to your current situation:

Have you ever been involved in an automobile or a motorcycle accident? Have you had another type of major accident or life-threatening condition?

Have you ever lost a loved one from death or separation and you are not completely at peace with it?

Have you ever had major surgery?

Are you carrying a dream that is not currently being fulfilled?

Do you explain, justify, or defend yourself at least once a week?

Have you ever had, or do you currently have, an addiction?

Do you have sugar and/or carbohydrate cravings?

Do half the clothes in your closet either not fit you or not appeal to you?

Do you long for something more in life?

Are you in an unhappy relationship or marriage?

Do you feel not seen or heard by a number of people in your life?

Do you have what feels like endless days during which you feel sad
and anxious?

Is your energy level not what it used to be?

Are you waiting for something to happen so you can then be happy?

Do you have people in your life who you know do not deserve to be there?

Within the past twenty-four hours, have you had an encounter with someone to whom you did not say what you truly felt or wanted to say?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then you are a person who has been dying a bit every day. Because you've picked up this book, you are obviously ready to benefit from these writings. You have the potential to become more alive, more authentic, more youthful, and more energetic. I know it, and deep down you know it, too. Subtle deaths on a daily basis are just as significant as the larger ones. They add up a bit every day and take away our life force, our creativity, and our energy. Subtle deaths prevent us from experiencing the miracles and magic that are our birthright.

We are not designed to grow old; we are created to grow up and out as beings of light. Some would call this the lightness of being or taking yourself lightly. Whether or not you believe in the Bible, when the Creator said, 'Let there be light,' the Creator was talking about you. Even Jesus tells a parable in which he reminds us not to hide our light. We are that light, and, as long as we hide it, we are hiding from ourselves. We are dying a little rather than thriving a lot. As long as we stand in the way of our light rather than expressing as a sparkle, we are merely a shadow of who we could be.

My Mission to You

I'm going to show you how to stop dying a bit every day and start seeing yourself as someone who can be fully awake to your complete and present life. No matter what your background, no matter what you have gone through in life, you and I are going to transform all that, and, once you stop dying a little bit every day, you will begin to see yourself as the empowered being that you are, worthy of love and happiness and being fully alive. You will shift from being disconnected and drained to being energized and impassioned.

When you learn more about my life—the pain, the rejection, the dismissal by many—some of you may be surprised that I hold on to God in a way that is not only a choice but also a necessity. I believe that having a relationship with our divine Creator is absolutely necessary to have a thriving and vibrant life. I want to share with you how I started seeing life from a new perspective by understanding in depth that we cannot separate ourselves from the very essence that we are made of.

©2014 Temple Hayes. All rights reserved. Reprinted from When Did You Die? 8 Steps to Stop Dying Every Day and Start Waking Up. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.