101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
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101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781491841624 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | AuthorHouse |
| Publication date: | 12/20/2013 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 152 |
| File size: | 257 KB |
Read an Excerpt
101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
By Mary Elizabeth Burgess
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2013 Mary Elizabeth BurgessAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4918-4161-7
CHAPTER 1
Prescription
"To ponder what life means
Precipitates sickness," the doctor said.
"Not to," the patient replied,
"Means you're nearly dead.
"It's not the asking makes one ill,
But expecting answers will.
"If they come, they are the gifts
Of birds whose songs the gray dawn lifts."
Pub. in George Street Carnival, 1972, and Gifts, 1986
Inventions for Oldsters
This is true (at least the first part).
Airbags for walkers so you can play
Michelin Man and Pillsbury Doughboy
when you trip or bump needlessly.
Hearing aids that glow in the dark in case
you have to answer a two a.m. call.
Rusty joints for hips, knees, shoulders
for built-in malpractice cases.
The baby boomers are making mints off us.
But they need to invent:
sweetly-scented Beano,
nose—and ear-hair clippers with platinum handles, and
multi-colored Depends for multi-colored ingestions.
A Husband's Lament
The cause of E. D. is grandchildren.
Those wees, the threes, rouse you to wee,
and who can get it on or off when there's three
in your bed. They age, as do you, but by then they'll
want to know what grown-ups do behind closed doors.
Parents can close doors, but not grandparents.
Oh, no, they'd rather be dead than lock out
a dearly beloved grandchild.
In inverse proportion your passion has gone out of fashion
as theirs is coming into.
It's been so long since you made love
you've forgotten how to.
Your face'd be red if you even tried to cuddle in bed.
What's a guy for?
By now you've forgotten. But hey, there's help—ta-da!
Viagra to the rescue!
If it's good enough for Dole, it's good enough for you.
So get up! Get going! Say, "Get into bed, pardner—
you're burning daylight."
Just pop that pill with a swill of red wine,
get the blood pumpin', you'll be sumpin',
by the time it's 'leven—quick now—
before the little one's seven.
There'll come a time when the tide will turn:
the little ones will become bigger ones,
and they'll have their own little ones—oh, sure,
they will make love, till their little ones
sleep between them.
Meantime, buy Viagra, go to Niagara, pop it nightly before your wife turns unsightly.
Pray.
Advice from the
Alzheimer's Association
Get plenty of mental stimulation: read, do puzzles,
learn a new language or hobby, go to the theater,
listen to CD's, travel.
Exercise: dance, walk or jog, walk (in water or in land)
or swim (in water), practice low-impact calisthenics,
Enjoy a healthy diet: fresh fruits and green, leafy vegetables
(but you don't have to become a vegan),
legumes—peas, beans, nuts, seeds, fish, low-fats,
ice cream with real fat only twice a week.
Share, enjoy, create, be kind, be curious, love
and be passionate about something.
When They Do the Autopsy
They'll think he rode horses from the spurs on his vertebrae,
lived in Battle Creek, Michigan, for the snap-crackle-pops in his
neck, produced bad records for Sony
from the condition of his discs, and went fishing every day
from the rods in his back.
An autopsy can tell a lot, especially on the guy who really
knew how to live, even when he's got saddle-sores,
ulcers, hernias, and flounders almost every day.
A Podiatrist
's job is hard.
It's hard to cut nails that are not soft,
dig ingrowns from toes that are not hard,
rub callouses the right way.
So treat him softly: he's worth every scent.
Blueberries Are Good
For the Brain
Brains contain millions, billions, infinite
(because they're infinitesimal) numbers of neurons,
those message containers, carriers, de-coders, connecting
with dendrites and axons at either end, not really connecting
because the synapses—gaps, nothing—are a marvel,
allowing plasticity, continuous re-mapping
of the brain and its memories,
and actual generation of new neurons.
Think of it!
Grey matter, a blob of image from Image
breathing life into the universe.
History Lessons
The radio brings tears with news in '56 of the Salk vaccine—
no polio for my little boy!
and again, in '62 tears of joy with John Glenn's space flight.
With t.v. in '69 at night all four of us open our eyes
and hardly talk of the marvelous walk Armstrong makes
on the moon.
In no time soon our two will be in television and medicine—
as camera man and 'lectrician!
The Economy
We are worried.
Margie, my friend's sister,
is afraid she'll lose her house,
though it's almost paid for.
So I sent her Keith's "rules of the road"
for such perilous times: —diversify, diversify, diversify,
his battle cry for investing at any time—
when markets are volatile, buy precious metals,
gold and silver, platinum and uranium
acceptable as well
—know what's in your mutual funds—
don't buy "junk bonds"
—in retirement, balance evenly
between stocks and bonds (with gold on the side),
the percentage depends on who's president
and what your nerves can stand
—don't listen to the news every day, and especially
don't follow your investments every day
(unless you're sure they're leading you down
a primrose Wall Street)
—pray a lot.
Finally, Margie, if you lose your house,
you can live with me, and if I lose mine,
I'll live with you. We bi-polars have to stick together.
Things to Do Before I Die
—Ride in a convertible with the top down
(have already ridden on a motorcycle twice
and liked the wind in my hair, the freedom)
—Walk in the rain without an umbrella,
my face turned to the heavens
—Dig in the dirt again and plant something
—Swim with no clothes on—no-no!—
I don't need to do that again!
—Cook a full-course meal for twelve once more
—Be in the movies (I was on t.v.
three times and a Blog once)
—Rob a bank—not
—Peel onions without crying
—Stand on my head again (I tried this recently,
but I couldn't get my backside up)
—Tumble in the circus, and walk the high wire
—Go to a Bruce Springsteen concert
—Own and drive a pink Cadillac convertible,
although an Atomic Blue Civic sedan works just as well
And after I die,
the possibilities,
the freedom,
the possibilities are endless ...
Age-Old Bonds
No sense "This hurts me more than it hurts you."
I felt the sting of wood and didn't want to sit just yet.
Now I tie restraints binding flesh to wood.
You sit yet yet yet, no sense.
This hurt stings me-not-you.
Catacombs
Cavernous doors swing open at a touch,
indifferent outdoor air is sucked up
by medicine-urine-carnation smells.
Foam-padded plush carpeting traps
the light, hurried step which moves
through Empire-furnitured lounges—
a few vital heads nod greeting—
down the long hallway chandeliered like some
grand merciful terminal
wide enough for spoked chariots
going nowhere with their twisted bodies whose gravity
strains against restraining bands, past these wall slots
filled with skeletons on lively jacquard slabs.
Cadaverous faces, flesh worn thin from bones within,
and staring unseeing eyes in hollow spaces haunt.
Some distant spectral moan like Cybil lures
me to my weekly ritual,
to my warm corpse, remembrance of a suckled past,
whose ghostly smile and disembodied words,
stabbed with memory's shards—
before the grave sleep comes—
taunt.
Pub.in Gifts. 1986
Good Heavens!
I forgot to put my earrings on and Emeraude
to remember her by,
she who instructed me never to wear red shoes or panties—
"trashy," you know.
Today I'm wearing both in memory:
I saw her buy red shoes once—
it made her more and more alive.
Gardening
At six I grew daffodils and tulips and sweet peas
—so hard to grow and train to climb those strings,
but so sweet, and sweet mother knew I'd love them.
We had two Victory Gardens, one in our small backyard
and one a few blocks away behind the school
when I was nine to thirteen, growing tomatoes and peas,
green and yellow beans (when the rabbits didn't nibble)
and weeds (the critters never minded them).
When I married, I grew tomatoes—always tomatoes, Big Boys
because they're early—and petunias, geraniums, bulbs
of every type, rhododendron and azaleas
(with husband's help), mint, parsley, chives, basil,
wild garlic and wild onion.
Tiger lilies, daylilies needing dead-heading,
And Madonna lilies (the bulbs from Mother)
abounded at one time.
Roses—that's another story (Momma always grew
such gorgeous ones in spite of aphids, mildew,
and hurricanes). The roses went, of their own accord.
With children, came sunflowers.
"They feed the birds this winter, honeyboy, and sure,
you can help plant the seeds."
My, how they grew, and grew, and g-r-e-w!
Honey was amazed, even more so when the cardinals,
blue jays, and robins came to the feast.
Later at another house came the trumpet vine,
blaring its orange way up my chimney,
yews, junipers, pyracantha—till we got tired of the thorns,
eunomous (firebush) and spirea (bridal veil).
Yarrow and Queen Anne's lace (this from the roadside)
to be dried and hung on the December tree.
Other roadside yields: stalks in the fall
to dry for winter's glory.
Surprise! they yielded insects—
flying insects emerging unbidden.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from 101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes by Mary Elizabeth Burgess. Copyright © 2013 Mary Elizabeth Burgess. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Prescription, 1,Inventions for Oldsters, 2,
A Husband's Lament, 3,
Advice from the Alzheimer's Association, 5,
When They Do the Autopsy, 6,
A Podiatrist, 7,
Blueberries Are Good For the Brain, 8,
History Lessons, 9,
The Economy, 10,
Things to Do Before I Die, 12,
Age-Old Bonds, 14,
Catacombs, 15,
Good Heavens!, 16,
Gardening, 17,
Scents and the Advertising Industry, 20,
Sundae Forgiveness, 21,
Twenty-Fifth Anniversary, 22,
Battle of the Sexes, 23,
Monday, 24,
Requiem for a Marriage, 25,
Who Can Know Grief?, 28,
After Divorce, 29,
Ladies' Troubles, 31,
Bedtime Snack, 33,
The Seconds, 34,
Counting, 37,
If You Remember, 38,
Scenes Seen, 40,
Magi, 41,
Living to Eat, 43,
A Fine Restaurant/Ristorante/Restaurante, 44,
Hotels and "Hotels", 46,
Bruges, 1992, 51,
To Keith, 59,
Sixtieth Birthday, 60,
Eulogy to Our Step-Dad, 1995, 61,
Maples, 62,
Spring Daffodils, I, 64,
Meals-on-Wheels, 68,
285-7305: Car Trouble!, 70,
Mid—and Low-Technology, 71,
Touching Paper, 72,
Answering Machine, 74,
Prayer, 76,
Disaster, 77,
Road Kill, 78,
Rain, 79,
For the Arthritic, 80,
Going to Funerals, 81,
Obits, 82,
Steeping, 83,
Complaint #1,000, and Prayer, 84,
A Conversation with Pain, 85,
Courage, Stubbornness, Tenacity, 86,
Loneliness, 87,
Dating While Lonely, 88,
Decisions, Decisions, 89,
Memorabilia, 90,
Tabloids, 91,
Touch, 92,
Good-Bye, Tom, 93,
Sister Rose, 95,
Textures, 99,
Magnetic Resonance Imaginer, 100,
Fearfully and Wondrously Made, 101,
Leaves, 102,
October Walk, 103,
The Age Effect: Exaggeration, 105,
Stepping Stones, 106,
Ephemera, 107,
After a Long Winter, 108,
April, 109,
s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g, 111,
Living Too Long, 112,
Tai Chi, 113,
New Things and Old Things, 115,
Pianists, 116,
Betty, 117,
Scaredy-Cats, 118,
Faith, 119,
Faith and Aging, 120,
Let the Good Times Roll, 121,
A Migraine's Prayer, 122,
Mammogram, 123,
Chemotherapy, 126,
Patience, 127,
Phases, 128,
The New Olympics, 130,
No Dieting, 131,
Lifeblood, 132,
50-100-1000, 133,
On Writing, 134,
A Place to Live, 135,
Peaceable Kingdom: Insects, Arachnids and Annelids, 136,
Too Soon, 138,
What Did You Do Today?, 139,
Life, 140,