101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol
Bringing to light an entertaining array of anecdotes, this collection of police stories recalls some of the strangest, funniest, and most poignant accounts from the freeways, highways, and country roads throughout California. From the family who pulled over for a picnic on the median strip of a busy freeway to the angelic-looking 5-year-old girl who defused a tense traffic stop by sweetly confessing, "my daddy has a beer under the seat," this is an uncompromising view of the everyday pursuits, enforcement stops, arrests, accidents, and weird encounters that patrolmen must endure. Also featured is a panoply of unlikely drunk-driving suspects, including Santa Claus, a Boy Scout troop leader, a newlywed couple, and an airline pilot on his way to fly a plane; the traffic stop of an elderly driver whose license had expired 35 years earlier—and who explained he was on his way to the DMV; and many more hilarious, odd, and tragic stories of life and death on the open road. Encouraging a renewed respect for the men and women in uniform who risk their lives to protect the public, this compilation also contains advice on highway safety and how to behave when pulled over by a patrol officer.
1102500057
101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol
Bringing to light an entertaining array of anecdotes, this collection of police stories recalls some of the strangest, funniest, and most poignant accounts from the freeways, highways, and country roads throughout California. From the family who pulled over for a picnic on the median strip of a busy freeway to the angelic-looking 5-year-old girl who defused a tense traffic stop by sweetly confessing, "my daddy has a beer under the seat," this is an uncompromising view of the everyday pursuits, enforcement stops, arrests, accidents, and weird encounters that patrolmen must endure. Also featured is a panoply of unlikely drunk-driving suspects, including Santa Claus, a Boy Scout troop leader, a newlywed couple, and an airline pilot on his way to fly a plane; the traffic stop of an elderly driver whose license had expired 35 years earlier—and who explained he was on his way to the DMV; and many more hilarious, odd, and tragic stories of life and death on the open road. Encouraging a renewed respect for the men and women in uniform who risk their lives to protect the public, this compilation also contains advice on highway safety and how to behave when pulled over by a patrol officer.
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101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol

101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol

101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol

101 Road Patrol Tales: Memoirs of a Chippie of the California Highway Patrol

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Overview

Bringing to light an entertaining array of anecdotes, this collection of police stories recalls some of the strangest, funniest, and most poignant accounts from the freeways, highways, and country roads throughout California. From the family who pulled over for a picnic on the median strip of a busy freeway to the angelic-looking 5-year-old girl who defused a tense traffic stop by sweetly confessing, "my daddy has a beer under the seat," this is an uncompromising view of the everyday pursuits, enforcement stops, arrests, accidents, and weird encounters that patrolmen must endure. Also featured is a panoply of unlikely drunk-driving suspects, including Santa Claus, a Boy Scout troop leader, a newlywed couple, and an airline pilot on his way to fly a plane; the traffic stop of an elderly driver whose license had expired 35 years earlier—and who explained he was on his way to the DMV; and many more hilarious, odd, and tragic stories of life and death on the open road. Encouraging a renewed respect for the men and women in uniform who risk their lives to protect the public, this compilation also contains advice on highway safety and how to behave when pulled over by a patrol officer.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781610350006
Publisher: Linden Publishing
Publication date: 08/01/2011
Pages: 240
Product dimensions: 5.88(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

E. W. Tompkins Jr. is a former California Highway Patrol officer who retired after more than 20 years in law enforcement.

Table of Contents

Introduction vii

Getting Started xviii

1 Do You Want Fries with That? 1

2 've Got Mail? 2

3 Missing in Action 3

4 They Went Thataway! 4

5 Cutie Pie 8

6 Mr.Big N. White and the Green Machine 9

7 Mr.Glib 12

8 The Great Haywire Patrol Tow Truck Caper 15

9 Equal Opportunity Enforcer 24

10 Mighty Friendly of You, Friend 26

11 Do You-See That? No 27

12 Hell Hath No Fury 29

13 Bouncing Chips 32

14 Glug, Glug, Glug 33

15 A Friendly Wave Would Have Been Better 34

16 Reds Rain 35

17 Care for a Canape, Old Man? 36

18 It's Only Sticking Out a little Bit 37

19 "X" Marks the Spot 38

20 You're Not Heavy, You're My Moped 40

21 It's a Reach 40

22 Helpless in the Act 42

23 Bigger Is Not Necessarily Better 43

24 Wadda Ya Mean, Woo-Woooooo? 45

25 Construction Destruction 47

26 Crying Wolf in the Rain 49

27 Such a Deal He Has for Me 51

28 A Bang-Up New Year's Eve 53

29 Such a Cute Puppy 55

30 Stubborn Is as Stubborn Does #1 56

31 Stubborn Is as Stubborn Does #2 59

32 Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! 61

33 Four Way, No Way 63

34 Jacked Up 64

35 I Love to Go A-Wandering 66

36 Even the Meek Can Speak Mightily 67

37 He Flies Through the Air 69

38 Like Shooting Birds on the Ground, No Sport 72

39 The Old Girl 73

40 Definitely Not a Diamond Day 74

41 Thar She Blows! 80

42 Clothes Do Not Necessarily the Man Make 82

43 Bike Ride 84

44 Doctor Frustration 86

45 Public Toilet 88

46 What Goes Around Comes Around 89

47 The Zs in the Night 92

48 Man of Peace 95

49 If Only I Were on Commission 96

50 Traveling Light 99

51 Ugly American Deer 101

52 Got Rope? 105

53 Duck Sou 106

54 Peddling as Fast as I Can 107

55 Headless Chickenlike 111

56 Cause You Did It 112

57 Said to Contain 114

58 Strangers in a Strange Land 118

59 Recruits for the Three Stooges 121

60 The Big Push 123

61 The Big Rush 124

62 The Big Oversight 125

63 The Big Cry 126

64 Fair Damned-sels 129

65 It's Only a Disabled Vehicle 130

66 Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! 132

67 A Night to Remember 134

68 Blondies Have More Fun, She Thinks 136

69 A Slacker Gets His Due 137

70 You Gotta Work with What You Know 139

71 Auxiliary Days Off 140

72 We Have Lift-Off! 145

73 Bull. Darn It 147

74 The Highway Hots Club 149

75 Close, but No See-gar 154

76 Group View 157

77 I Wasn't Even in Heat 159

78 Sad Hands 160

79 Those Invisible CHP Cars 162

80 Her Name Should Be Lucky 163

81 Help from Heaven 164

82 Flying Too High 166

83 The Devil's in the Dirt 167

84 Was I on Fire? 169

85 Told You So, Too 170

86 And Awaaaay, We Go 173

87 Eye Think That's Funny 176

88 Lunch, Is Served 177

89 Bill's Thrill 178

90 Care to Dance? 179

91 Gentleman jim Ain't Too Happy 180

92 Public Acclamation 181

93 They're E-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e 183

94 More Said to Be So's 185

95 The Bunker 188

96 The Only Thing Missing Is the White Flag 190

97 Showtime 192

98 Loose Lips Sink the Speaker 193

99 Baby, Baby, Come to Me 194

100 How Low Can You Go? 196

101 Funny That You Mention It 197

You Pays Your Dime, You Takes Your Chance 199

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