5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

by The Oatmeal, Matthew Inman

NOOK Book(eBook)

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In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.

Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781449406752
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Publication date: 10/01/2010
Series: The Oatmeal , #1
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 160
Sales rank: 1,105,875
File size: 26 MB
Note: This product may take a few minutes to download.

About the Author

TheOatmeal.com is an entertainment Web site full of comics, quizzes, and stories. The site gets more than 7 million unique visitors and 30 million page views a month; 250,000 blogs and Web sites have linked to it. TheOatmeal.com is written, drawn, and coded by Matthew Inman, a king of all trades when it comes to the Web. Matthew lives in Seattle, Washington. He subsists on a steady diet of crickets and whiskey. He enjoys long walks on the beach, gravity, and breathing heavily through his mouth. His dislikes include scurvy, typhoons, and tapeworm medication.

Customer Reviews

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (and Other Useful Guides) [With Poster] 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 92 reviews.
ASudduth More than 1 year ago
I give this review 3 stars because I am a huge fan of TheOatmeal. I can't give this a full 5 stars simply because AFTER paying for it and downloading to the NOOK did I find out that half the comics are either too small to read (and you can't enlarge the text on the comic) or were already on the The Oatmeal website. I thought I would get original comics here that weren't available for free on the website. Overall I wish I could get my money back, but not because I am disappointed in The Oatmeals work. Matthew Inman is a comedic genius.
Zen_Diner More than 1 year ago
The comics written by the oatmeal (Matthew Inman)are a unique mixture of everyday situations and the bizarre. Each comic is a new adventure into the mind of creator Matthew Inman that will have you laughing from beginning to end. I thoroughly loved this book and hope you find as much enjoyment from it as i have.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Probably an awesome book, but if you buy it for the Nook, you're not going to be able to read any of the text -- you can't resize the images. VERY disappointed. I love the Oatmeal, but someone dropped the ball when offering this as a Nook book.
johnebravo More than 1 year ago
The book is great. But the B&N ebook is worthless. The images are so small that I cannot read most of the captions. THERE IS NO WAY TO ZOOM. Thought it was just the iPad, but I tried it in the B&N Nook app on the PC and I can't read it there either. Somebody really screwed up here.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
You can zoom in now with the latest update to nookcolor and tablet. Works fine!
NuclearNerd1 More than 1 year ago
I like the website, and was looking for more new content in the book; there was some, but not as much as expected. My biggest complaint is the fact that on the NookColor it is not possible to resize the content and a vast majority of the comics are too small to read. If given the option I would return this.
AnthonyMC More than 1 year ago
The best web comic out there- The Oatmeal is consistently funny, educational, and awesome. Well, the book delivers too. Just as hilarious and it really shines in full color. Oh, I guess some of the other reviewers are complaining about the NOOK version, so definitely buy it in print. I can confirm it is awesome.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So why can no one spell? Or get a joke? Great book, by the way.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Don't buy! I have a newer version of the Nook and can zoom in but when you DO zoom in it's all pixely and even harder to read so don't waste nine bucks on this plus they are like no words and the words that you can read are to small to read so overall DoN't BuY!
lizzybeans11 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
If you are a fan of the blog, you'll be a fan of this book. The illustrations are beautiful and the comics are hilarious. Most of my favourites were there, and there is plenty of new content that never appeared online. Plus there is a pull-out poster about Printers being from Hell.
Xenosophy on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
As if we need more reasons to punch dolphins in the mouth.This is a hilarious new coffee table book from a website called The Oatmeal.Everything I need to know about life, I learned from this book:(I swear to you, all this stuff is really in it.)1) At the urinal: men groan, talk to each other about drywall and chainsaws, and then congratulate each other on a job well done. I guess the only witnesses are the clouds outside the window...2) All those little clicks and whistles that dolphins make may sound cute, but they are actually vulgar insults. Ergo - It's okay to PUNCH THEM.3) People you really don't know will invite you to their Cat's Birthday just because you are friends on Facebook.4) You can totally get arrested for giving out free hugs...5) Kittens should be prepared for war with samurai swords. All kitties are really ninjas deep inside.6) Knowing this just might save your life - a lion is NOT a pony.7) And most of all: The Bear-0-Dactyl exists!None of the above are the exact quotes or actual images from [book:5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth|7830378], but they are the morals of this book. If you want to see them (and believe me - you do), then you will have to get the book yourself. I didn't know about the Oatmeal website before I read this, but I will certainly be visiting it now.This is a compilation of animated short comics from the Oatmeal website. It includes helpful and comprehensive guides to the most common issues of life, including lists of: different types of airline passengers, high fives and when to use them, types of handshakes, crappy pedestrians. Not to mention: a polar bear's guide to making friends, how to ride a pony, why you shouldn't feed your T-Rex cocaine and so much more.The Facebook bit was my favorite. It is a list of all the different types of Facebook trolls, accompanied by illustrations of them and their shenanigans. Not that I would know first hand, since I'm not on Facebook, but the list confirmed most of my sneaking suspicions.This is an igneous comic/picture comedy. I don't even know how to classify this book. Wait, yeah I do. Awesome sauce!! This book is awesome sauce!There are violent, crude, and awkward images. Sexual content and language - but it's all done so tastefully :) I mean, there's even a bit about why bacon is better than true love. Hahahahaha! Its a "bacon" bit!!! Yum...Hilariously informative! The perfect coffee table book for non-prudes, Beavis and Butthead, stressed out people, Bill Murray, sarcastic people, Ben Stein, perky yet dark people, Buffy, apparently anyone whose name starts with a B, and basically anyone who can appreciate non-PG-rated humor.If you have any sense but no sensibilities, or at least if your sensibilities are not easily offended - then read then book.If your senses and sensibilities are sensitive - don't.(I received this as a free review copy from Netgalley. Thanks Netgalley!)
hates_sunlight More than 1 year ago
Now only can I not read this in the Nook because the images don't resize, I am absolutely unable to view this on a PC because My Nook thinks I haven't purchased it, even though I already did. This is the last time I ever purchase a comic for the Nook.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The oatmeal never fails to please :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The bookn itself was actually very humerous and witty, but I found it tedios that the words and pictures were quite small and I could not zoom in on them. Other than these notes, the book pleased me immensily and I recommend it to all intelectuals around the world. Also cats are cool.
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If theres a way to view it i would like to know
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome!!! !BUY THIS NOW!!!!
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I for one am not a fan of dolphins so if some one starts useing it as a punching bag i would grab a soda and watch.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Pee poo pee
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love The Oatmeal and have spent many hours reading comics and answering quiz questions on his website, but the ebook sucks. Most of the time, it's very hard to make out the text, not to mention it's in black and white. I've read some other peoples comments on how it works fine on the tablet and HD nook, but not for people with the simple touch model, like me. So you'll have to trust others if you have a better model, but read it online if you have something like mine.