A Matter of Death and Life
A year-long journey by the renowned psychiatrist and his writer wife after her terminal diagnosis, as they reflect on how to love and live without regret.

Internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom devoted his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her.

In alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv's first months alone, they offer us a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of one's beloved. The Yaloms had numerous blessings—a loving family, a Palo Alto home under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers around the world, and a long, fulfilling marriage—but they faced death as we all do. With the wisdom of those who have thought deeply, and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who've grown up together, they investigate universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by two lifetimes of experience, A Matter of Death and Life is an openhearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.

1137338534
A Matter of Death and Life
A year-long journey by the renowned psychiatrist and his writer wife after her terminal diagnosis, as they reflect on how to love and live without regret.

Internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom devoted his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her.

In alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv's first months alone, they offer us a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of one's beloved. The Yaloms had numerous blessings—a loving family, a Palo Alto home under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers around the world, and a long, fulfilling marriage—but they faced death as we all do. With the wisdom of those who have thought deeply, and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who've grown up together, they investigate universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by two lifetimes of experience, A Matter of Death and Life is an openhearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.

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A Matter of Death and Life

A Matter of Death and Life

A Matter of Death and Life

A Matter of Death and Life

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Overview

A year-long journey by the renowned psychiatrist and his writer wife after her terminal diagnosis, as they reflect on how to love and live without regret.

Internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom devoted his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her.

In alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv's first months alone, they offer us a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of one's beloved. The Yaloms had numerous blessings—a loving family, a Palo Alto home under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers around the world, and a long, fulfilling marriage—but they faced death as we all do. With the wisdom of those who have thought deeply, and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who've grown up together, they investigate universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by two lifetimes of experience, A Matter of Death and Life is an openhearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781503632585
Publisher: Stanford University Press
Publication date: 04/19/2022
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 371,541
Product dimensions: 8.60(w) x 5.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Irvin D. Yalom, emeritus professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, is the author of internationally bestselling books, including Love's Executioner, The Gift of Therapy, Becoming Myself, and When Nietzsche Wept. Marilyn Yalom's books include classics of cultural history such as A History of the Wife, Birth of the Chess Queen, and How the French Invented Love, as well as her final book released posthumously, Innocent Witnesses: Childhood Memories of World War II. They were married for sixty-five years.

Table of Contents

Preface ix

1 The Vital Box 1

2 Becoming an Invalid 12

3 Awareness of Evanescence 21

4 Why Don't We Move to Assisted Living? 28

5 Retirement: The Precise Moment of Decision 35

6 Setbacks and Renewed Hopes 41

7 Staring at the Sun, Once Again 50

8 Whose Death Is This Anyway? 63

9 Facing Endings 67

10 Considering Physician-Assisted Suicide 73

11 A Tense Countdown to Thursday 79

12 A Complete Surprise 87

13 So Now You Know 92

14 Death Sentence 100

15 Farewell to Chemotherapy-and to Hope 106

16 From Palliative Care to Hospice 109

17 Hospice Care 120

18 A Soothing Illusion 124

19 French Books 127

20 The End Approaches 132

21 Death Arrives 137

22 The After-Death Experience 142

We Will Remember 149

23 Life as an Independent, Separate Adult 158

24 Home Alone 166

25 Sex and Grief 169

26 Unreality 174

27 Numbness 180

28 Help from Schopenhauer 184

29 Denial Revealed 190

30 Stepping Out 193

31 Indecisiveness 199

32 On Reading My Own Work 202

33 Seven Advanced Lessons in the Therapy of Grief 207

34 My Education Continues 211

35 Dear Marilyn 215

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