In order to be truly successful in life, being personally secure and intellectually adept is not enough. Because every individual must operate as part of a larger society, it is necessary to be socially skillful as well; and, as is the case with most of an individual's characteristics, the roots of interpersonal proficiency form during infancy and toddlerhood.
Unfortunately, social skills occupy a somewhat strange position in early development. While effective interactions with other people rest upon solid "psychological" foundations, they are essentially "intellectual" exercises. On the other hand, although effective interactions with other people require certain mental capabilities, they involve applying those capacities to a very special set of objects, concepts and circumstances.
Since social skills fall into this "in-between" area, even the most alert and concerned mothers and fathers often overlook them. Most children emerge from the early years armed with ample abilities for coping with how the physical world works. However, far too few have been equipped with superb abilities for dealing with the people who populate that world.
That is not to say most mothers and fathers neglect the "non-intellectual" aspects of early development. Parents generally recognize that their child must learn to value herself, and they pay attention to nurturing emotional security and self-esteem. They also recognize that their child must learn to control herself, and they employ suitable disciplinary procedures. They further recognize that their child must be "socialized" to a certain extent, so they take plenty of time to teach proper eating, dressing and toileting techniques.
Nonetheless, many parents fail to realize that it is during infancy and toddlerhood that their child must start to learn how to interact with her fellow human beings. Sometimes they assume that social skills assimilate casually during the preschool and elementary years, but for whatever reason, their child does not receive a sufficient supply of relevant lessons.
Fortunately, helping a child along the path toward life-long interpersonal proficiency is not difficult. Although "fundamental" in nature, social skill development during the early years is not particularly complicated, and with a little awareness and information, parents can easily pursue policies and practices that will ensure optimal progress in this area.
