This is a story of my personal experience. It was the 50's. At age 16, I was young and naïve. Love of my religion and an idealistic desire for perfection led me to a Convent of Carmelite Nuns; where I committed to the spiritual. I was taught to practice humility, obedience, detachment from people and earthly possessions, silence, and suffering in the name of God for the sins of the world. Unable to control my earthly desires and wishes, the challenge became choosing between the two. I felt manipulated by my superiors and caught in a web of self-doubt and indecision.