The first time I saw her I wanted to cry. There wasn't a smile, only tears. You could see a smile belonged there, but was strangely missing. How the tears wanted to flow, like streams in a river beds flowing at capacity. A dam filled to capacity needing the release least it over flow and wash away the river banks needed to hold the stream during times of great floods. Yet the smile was gone with not a sign of it's returning anytime soon. She was beautiful, you could see it in how she looked out for others, but the joy wasn't there, not like it should have been. She served as though she felt she needed to for some past wrong she had committed, some sin against someone. She served as if by chance she did enough good, she would somehow be able to find redemption.
I wish to go back when her smile was alive with joy. A joy that filled everyone around her and made the world so right for so many. How was it her smile vanished leaving only a need to serve others, caring nothing for her own needs. How could such a tragedy happen? Who could have extinguished her light so completely as to take the joy of life from one with such beauty and charm. What would it take to bring back what was stolen, to give the joy of life back to someone so beautiful and kind?
|Publisher:||Jayne Amanda Maynes|
|File size:||371 KB|
|Age Range:||18 Years|
About the Author
I was born in April 1955 as the heir to my father. My older brother should have been, he had the same initials as dad, but he was mentally retarded and had a heart condition from birth. According to my mother she knew from the time I was growing inside her that I would be a boy and the heir they had hope my brother could have been. I have known for as long as I can remember that I was different that there was something not right about me. I am a M2F (male to female) transsexual. I am currently on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy); I started on HRT October 1, 2007. I have been in therapy for GID (Gender Identity Disorder) since February 2007. I have not set a time yet for completing my transition to becoming the woman I know I am inside. There are so many things involved in transitioning that most people have no clue about. The differences between the sexes are so vast and all of my life I have led a life that just never fit who I am inside. I have learned so much and yet there is still so much that I still don’t know about being the woman I always knew I was.