A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss-- Guidance and Support for You and Your Family

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss-- Guidance and Support for You and Your Family

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Overview

A Silent Sorrow has long been considered the "bible" for families seeking emotional and practical support after a pregnancy loss. Well organized, easily accessible, and filled with practical suggestions for each topic it covers, A Silent Sorrowis a positive first step for bereaved parents and their families, providing support and guidance to help resolve thegrief and enable them to look to the future with hope.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780415924818
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
Publication date: 01/20/2000
Edition description: REVISED
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 598,273
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Ingrid Kohn, M.S.W. , was a founder of the Pregnancy Loss Support Program of the National Council of Jewish Women in New York City. She is currently in private practice in San Diego where she is also the supervisor for Jewish Family Services and is author of Understanding Grief and Coping with a Loss (19 ). Perry-Lynn Moffitt has served as the lay counselor with the Pregnancy Loss Support Program since 1984. She is author of Guide to Pregnancy and Early Parenthood (1994) and Understanding Your Pregnancy Loss (1998). Isabelle A. Wilkins, M.D. is a specialist in maternal-fetal medicine at the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston.

Table of Contents

Preface to the Second Editionxiii
Acknowledgmentsxv
Forewordxix
Section IThe Grief of Pregnancy Loss
1When an Unborn or Newborn Baby Dies3
Bonding with Your Unborn Baby3
Grieving for Your Baby4
The Phases of Grief5
Initial Shock6
Anticipatory Grief7
Acute Grief8
Grief Work11
Integration of Your Grief13
Anniversary Reactions14
Grieving Loss in a Multiple Pregnancy14
If You Have Difficulty Mourning15
Pregnancy Loss Changes You17
Key Points to Help You Grieve17
2The Mother's Experience19
Factors That Affect Your Grief19
Feeling You Failed the Baby's Father21
The Ways Women Grieve22
Your Return to the Community22
Key Points for Bereaved Mothers23
3The Father's Experience25
Bonding with Your Baby25
Your Grief and the Pressure to Move On26
Your Concern for the Baby's Mother27
The Urge to Be Strong27
When Your Grief Is Unfinished30
Key Points for Bereaved Fathers30
4Pregnancy Loss and Your Relationship: Grieving Together and Apart32
Your Relationship during the Crisis32
Incongruent Grief34
Your Grief and Sexuality37
How Pregnancy Loss Can Change Your Relationship40
Key Points for Couples43
Section IIPregnancy Loss Examined
5Early Losses47
Issues Common to All Early Losses47
Experiencing a Miscarriage: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath50
Experiencing an Ectopic Pregnancy: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath56
Experiencing a Molar Pregnancy: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath60
Key Points for Coping with Your Early Loss63
6Crisis Pregnancies and Loss64
Issues Common to All Crisis Pregnancies64
Experiencing Preterm Labor: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath66
Experiencing Premature Rupture of the Membranes: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath70
Experiencing Cervical Incompetence: Symptoms and Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath73
Key Points for Coping with Your Loss in a Crisis Pregnancy77
7Stillbirth and Newborn Death78
Issues Common to All Stillbirths and Newborn Deaths78
Experiencing a Stillbirth: Diagnosis and Treatment, Causes, Emotional Aftermath82
Experiencing a Newborn Death: Causes, Emotional Aftermath86
Key Points for Coping with Your Stillbirth or Newborn Death92
8Prenatal Diagnosis and the Burden of Choice93
Preparing for Prenatal Testing and Receiving the Results95
Continuing Your Pregnancy when Your Baby Is Not Expected to Live97
Your Hospital Stay when You End a Pregnancy98
How to Discuss Ending Your Pregnancy with Your Children99
Your Emotional Recovery after Ending Your Pregnancy100
Finding the Support You Need after Ending Your Pregnancy102
Key Points to Help You Cope with an Impaired Pregnancy104
Section IIIThe Response of Others
9Medical Care when You Lose Your Pregnancy109
Learning about Your Loss109
Your Hospital Care111
Special Considerations with Stillbirth and Newborn Death114
Communication among Medical Staff118
Your Hospital Discharge and Follow-up Care119
How You Can Improve Hospital Bereavement Services121
Key Points to Help You Obtain Compassionate Medical Care123
Bereavement Protocol124
10Finding Solace in Your Religion125
When Your Loss Feels Like Retribution126
When You Turn to the Clergy126
When the Clergy Console You127
When Religion May Disappoint You128
The Relevance of Rituals129
Naming Your Baby131
Burying or Cremating Your Baby132
When Ritual Is Denied133
Theology and Ritual134
Jewish Traditions134
Islamic Traditions136
Catholic Traditions137
Protestant Traditions139
Mixed Religions139
The Need for Special Rituals140
Rituals for Early Losses141
Rituals for Ending an Impaired Pregnancy141
Your Return to Faith143
Key Points to Help You Find Solace in Your Religion143
11The Response of Your Family and Friends145
Telling People about Your Loss145
Informing Close Family and Friends145
Telling Your Wider Social Circle146
Special Issues149
Finding the Support You Need149
Handling Thoughtless Remarks151
Coping with Social Pressures153
Being with Pregnant Women and Little Children154
Key Points to Help You with Family and Friends157
The Five Worst Comments You Might Hear157
The Five Best Comments You Might Hear158
12Helping Your Children at Home159
How to Talk with Your Child160
Toddlers and Preschoolers161
Children Age Six to Eleven163
Preteens and Teenagers165
Special Issues for You to Consider165
Saying Good-bye to a Baby Sibling166
Your Child and Religious Rituals166
Your Child's Peers167
After the Crisis168
If You and Your Family Need Extra Help169
Key Points to Help Your Children after a Loss171
13For Bereaved Grandparents172
Grandparents' Guilt174
Helping Your Adult Children175
Family Celebrations and Holidays176
Pregnancy after a Loss177
Strengthening Family Ties177
Key Points for Bereaved Grandparents178
Section IVSpecial Circumstances
14The Impact of Pregnancy Loss on Your Career181
Making Career Decisions181
Men and Their Careers183
Your Career Choices and High-Risk Pregnancy184
Key Points when Pregnancy Loss Affects Your Career187
15Pregnancy Loss and Infertility: A Twofold Sorrow188
Coping with a Pregnancy Reduction189
When to Stop Trying to Conceive191
Enduring Uncertainty194
Key Points to Help You Cope with Pregnancy Loss and Infertility196
16Becoming Pregnant Again197
Making the Decision197
The Right Timing198
Finding Out You Are Pregnant Again199
Telling Others200
If a Loss Occurs Again201
Reconsidering Your Medical Care202
Changing Doctors202
Use of Technology203
Surviving the New Pregnancy205
For Mothers Who Must Manage a Subsequent High-Risk Pregnancy208
Parenting after Your Loss210
Experiencing the Birth of a Healthy Baby210
Problems with Child Rearing210
Responding to Awkward Questions211
Key Points to Help You Survive a Subsequent Pregnancy212
Appendices
AManaging Problem Pregnancies213
BRituals226
CPregnancy Loss and the Environment240
DResources244
Resources for Pregnancy Loss244
Resources for Loss in Multiple Gestations248
Resources Online249
Resources for Psychotherapy249
Resources for Genetics Information and for Ending a Pregnancy251
Resources for Infertility253
Resources for Childbirth253
Resources for Adoption255
Resources on Health and Pregnancy256
Glossary258
Bibliography267
Index291

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A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss-- Guidance and Support for You and Your Family 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Kalebs_Mom More than 1 year ago
Sadly, my family and I experienced the shock of stillbirth firsthand at 29 weeks of pregnancy in March 2009. It felt like no pain I have ever known. My son was healthy up until that point, and suddenly everything I thought I knew became questionable. He would have been our second child. I have always been an avid reader, so in trying to understand my journey of grief and pain, I went in search of information. I was unable to find any books on the shelves dealing with the subject of stillbirth in the stores, but found this one online. It was helpful, informative and thought provoking. Although a couple of the chapters didn't apply to my situation, I read them to get an understanding of other scenarios related to infant and fetal death. I would highly recommend this book to any family dealing with pregnancy loss.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Well laid out and informative. There aren't many books out there (that I could find) that deal with this subject. Don't bother looking in the pregnancy section of B&N¿I found this with the other books dealing with loss.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book brought fresh tears to my eyes as it carried me back both to the sudden trauma of losing my daughter sixteen months ago and the prolonged trauma that followed -- that of the inadequate responses of friends and relatives. The chapter on the reactions of family and friends touched on my experience of feeling that the depths of my tragedy and profundity of my sorrow kept those I needed most at a painful distance. It was a comfort to recognize myself in the pages that discussed this pattern. After the loss, I was so preoccupied with my own needs that it was hard for me to reach out to my husband and understand how and why his experience differed from mine. The chapter on the father's experience helped me to see more clearly what he had to endure -- and was forced to keep bottled up inside -- because as a man, his grief was little recognized by those around him. Finally, the chapter on becoming pregnant again offered a sober and realistic look at the medical concerns and emotional turmoil that a future pregnancy might bring, but it also offered a ray of hope that should make the sadness easier to bear. -- A.C., New York
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
THE BOOK WAS EASY TO READ AND COMFORTING FOR SOMEONE TO REALIZE THAT THEY ARE NOT ALONE IN THEIR LOSS. IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT MISCARRIAGE IS NOT TREATED THE SAME AS FULL TERM LOSS,AS NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU HAVE LOST A CHILD YOU WERE WAITING FOR AND IS NO MORE. WE FOUND IT A GOOD READ AND VERY INFORMATIVE.