A STATE OF JANE

A STATE OF JANE

by Meredith Schorr

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781635111538
Publisher: Henery Press
Publication date: 11/22/2016
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 462,846
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.60(d)

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Holding the phone against my ear with my shoulder as I painted my toenails in OPI's That's Hot Pink, I said to my sister, "Wish me a happy anniversary."

"Happy Anniversary, little sister." Claire was only seventeen months older than me, practically my Irish twin, but she always insisted on referring to me as her "little sister."

"May I ask what anniversary you're celebrating?"

"My first one. And hopefully my last."

Claire replied, "Clarify."

"My first anniversary as a single person. It's been exactly a year since Bob and I broke up, and I'm officially ready to fall in love again." I looked toward my computer screen where my eHarmony profile was 28 percent completed.

Claire snorted. "Says who?"

"I've done extensive research online, and my scores on several questionnaires clearly indicate that I'm emotionally available for a new relationship."

A hint of doubt in her voice, Claire questioned, "'Cause it's been exactly a year?"

"Precisely. Three hundred and sixty-five days." I wasn't going to let Claire's teasing get to me. I knew waiting a year meant I'd be less likely to waste my time in a rebound relationship.

"Only you would actually believe a few days could make a difference," Claire said in obvious amusement.

"Ha ha, Claire. Keep laughing all the way down the aisle on my wedding day when you're my matron of honor."

"Who do you intend to start this new relationship with?"

"Someone amazing. I just have to find him. Could be anywhere — eHarmony, the subway, a bar, at work. In fact, a new set of first year associates is starting this week." I bit my lip. "Although, if they started law school right after college, they might only be twenty-five." Not everyone worked as a paralegal first like I did.

"And that's a problem because?"

"I'm twenty-six! I'd rather date someone older. Or my age." Thirty would be ideal since men matured less quickly than women. A four-year age difference might mean we'd be ready to settle down at the same time.

"It's a one-year difference, Jane. Keep your options open."

"They are open."

"Whatever you say."

I blew on my toes, willing the polish to dry faster. "I hate when you do that, you know."

"Do what?" Claire asked innocently.

"Dismiss me."

Claire sighed dramatically. "You're not in high school anymore, Jane, and guys in New York are not gonna fall at your feet." Laughing, she added, "Except the really short, nerdy ones with balance problems. Just don't expect to meet Dr. Right who looks like Eric Bana. It ain't easy, and you've got lots of competition."

I met Bob the summer between our sophomore and junior years in high school, when we were co-counselors for the same group of seven-year-old boys. We became good friends, but when I told Claire I had a crush on him, she said I'd never have the guts to make a move and should just use his friendship as practice for talking to guys. "As always, thanks for the uplifting pep talk. And it's not as if guys fell at my feet in high school either. Bob was my first boyfriend, remember?"

Softening her voice, Claire said, "Sorry if I sounded mean. You're a definite catch, sis. But you're naive, and I don't want you to be unprepared. Just go in with no expectations, okay?"

"Okay," I said quietly. I had hoped Claire would share my excitement, not give me unsolicited advice.

Her voice brightened. "You do realize you'll need to actually go on dates first, right? Which means no more back-to-back episodes of the Barefoot Contessa and Iron Chef on the Food Network on Saturday nights."

"It's not like I'm a hermit, Claire. I wanted to make sure I gave myself enough time to move on after a nine-year relationship." The fact that I broke up with Bob and not the other way around didn't make the split any less traumatic. Or at least not that much less traumatic. On a positive note, I'd learned a lot of new recipes over the past year. "Anyway, I'm ready now."

"I'm sure you are. Just please don't expect things to be as easy as they were when you met Bob. The dating world post-millennium is an entirely different animal, and you're dealing with experienced men, not innocent boys. It might not be as easy to meet another Bob. If you don't believe me, ask Pin Cushion."

Pin Cushion was my sister's secret nickname for my far from virginal roommate, Lainie, and she was the last person I'd ask for relationship advice. Birth control advice, maybe. We'd met through Craigslist and although she was often negligent in the way of household duties, I was happy she wasn't a psychopath.

"I'll be myself and things will happen. Like they eventually did for you."

Claire groaned. "Eventually is the operative word. And now we can't make a baby to save our lives."

I remembered how Claire had dyed her dirty blond hair jet black when she dated a drummer in college, and how she gave up meat when she dated a vegetarian. She wound up married to Kevin, another high school teacher from the suburbs who, ten times out of ten, also chose cheeseburgers over tofu and soy milk. They were a perfect match, but baby making had proved to be a challenge. "It will happen when it's supposed to, Claire. I truly believe that." Secretly, I wished it would happen sooner rather than later so I could start buying cute baby clothes for my little niece or nephew.

"My advice to you — take your own advice. It will happen when it's supposed to happen. Don't look at every guy as the potential 'one.'"

"Not every guy, Claire. Just the single, handsome, ambitious, generous, funny ones." A message popped up on my computer saying my session on eHarmony was going to timeout if I remained idle for another sixty seconds, so after I told Claire I loved her and would cross my fingers she didn't get her period that month, we hung up and I finished my online profile. I couldn't wait to be matched with someone with whom I was compatible on twenty-nine dimensions.

CHAPTER 2

The next night, I had drinks at the Brass Monkey with my best friend, Marissa, and her older sister, Katherine. We sat on the rooftop sipping pear cider and enjoying a view of the West Side Highway and the Hudson River. It was an Indian summer, but there was still a chill in the air. I reached behind my chair for my pink and green Lilly Pulitzer cardigan, wrapping it around my shoulders. Gesturing toward Marissa, I asked, "How are things going with that guy Eric?" She had met him on PlentyOfFish. When I asked why she didn't try eHarmony, she said she lacked the patience to complete the extensive questionnaire. I, on the other hand, was certain the extra labor would pay out in finding me my consummate other half.

Marissa took a sip of her drink. "I don't know. He's really nice, but totally clueless."

"In what way?" I asked.

Snorting, Katherine said, "Do you have all night?"

I ignored Katherine. She'd been a know-it-all ever since she got married the year before, and I never forgave her for making Marissa wear a beige maid of honor dress. With Marissa's pale complexion, she looked naked. And besides, beige was only flattering on girls who wore a size four or less. Marissa was not one of those girls. Neither was I.

I nodded toward Marissa. "Details, please."

Marissa gave an embarrassed smile. "I guess his first offense was taking me to Smiler's Deli on our first date. It was approaching closing time, but we managed to snag some grilled vegetables and stale California rolls before they cleared out the salad bar. Second, and more ridiculous, was telling me on our second date that he was in therapy because his ex-wife left him. Too much information way too soon." Marissa shook her head of long plum brown hair as if bewildered by it all.

"Are you talking to anyone else?" The whole internet dating phenomenon fascinated me since I hadn't been on a date with anyone except Bob since the summer of 1999.

"Yeah, but still at the email stage. Eric already asked me out for a third date."

"Did you let him down easy?" I asked.

"She said yes," Katherine said matter-of-factly. "He's nice, not ugly, and he asked. She has to give it another chance. Pickings are slim."

How would Katherine know this, being that she was the opposite of single? Oh, yeah, because Katherine knew everything. Tuning her out, I asked Marisa, "But do you like him? You shouldn't force yourself to go out with him if you don't."

"He's really nice, but I'm not sure if I could ever be attracted to him. I'm trying though."

It pained me to watch Marissa practice this ritual time and time again, believing she could create chemistry if she tried harder. She'd been my best friend since she lived across the hall from me our freshmen year in college, and I wanted her to meet her soul mate almost as much as I wanted to meet my own. "Why are you even trying? You shouldn't have to try to be attracted to someone. You either are or you're not."

"Or you close your eyes and pretend he's Bradley Cooper," Katherine said, laughing.

I took a sip of my drink, thankful it was diluted with ice. I wanted to squeeze in an hour of studying for the LSAT before bed. "You can't settle. New York City is full of eligible bachelors. Onward and upward, I say."

Looking at me like I was a clueless intern on my first day of work, Katherine raised her chin toward the air. "Yes. Manhattan is full of eligible bachelors. Eligible bachelors who are unemployed, uninterested, gay, or looking to get laid."

Marissa nodded her head in agreement. "Jane will see soon enough. She's ready to start dating again."

"Really? One piece of advice. Try to refrain from telling every guy who hits on you all about how you and Bob 'lost the spark' and how important it is to find 'the spark.' Ranting about your ex-boyfriend is not the best way to get a new one."

While Katherine's face distorted into an obnoxious laugh, I glared at Marissa. She mouthed, "Sorry" and quickly looked away.

"I did that once, and I wasn't even interested in the guy," I muttered. And how kind of my big-mouthed best friend to share it with her bigger-mouthed older sister. "Besides, the spark is important."

Katherine downed the rest of her cider and placed her empty glass on the table. "Well, best of luck finding the spark, Jane. I can't wait to hear about your dating disasters. Marissa's are getting old."

Katherine was so cynical, I wondered how she ever managed to get married. Then I remembered what her husband looked like and smiled to myself. Placing my hand over Marissa's, I said, "You'll meet the right guy someday. Don't waste time on the wrong ones. Remember when I told you Christopher would say yes if you asked him to the formal senior year?"

Marissa nodded somberly. "Yeah."

"I was right then, and I'm right now."

"What about you?" Marissa asked. "Have you spoken to anyone yet?"

"Not yet, but ask me again tomorrow and I might have a different answer." I handed my credit card to the waitress. "These drinks are on me, ladies. I'm feeling generous tonight."

"Thanks, Jane. What's the occasion?" Katherine asked.

Tucking a strand of dirty blond hair behind my ears, I said, "Love is in the air. I feel it. I'm checking my eHarmony matches as soon as I get home. Maybe the love of my life is waiting in my inbox."

Katherine looked at me doubtfully. "Your optimism is inspiring."

Half laughing, Marissa said, "With Jane's luck, the 'one' will be the first guy she goes out with. She'll be married before I get past the fifth date with someone."

"I hope so." I paused and looked at Marissa. "Not the part about you and the fifth date, of course. But just in case eHarmony doesn't pan out, I've also joined a group on Meetup for singles in their twenties through thirties, and I'm smiling at every cute boy I pass on the street. I want to be settled in a committed relationship by the time I start law school next year, when I'll be too busy studying to meet anyone."

Katherine stood up and flung her bag across her shoulder. "I hate to drink and run, but I told Martin I'd be home twenty minutes ago." To me, she said, "Thanks again for the drink and best of luck in the dating jungle. Don't get eaten alive."

We waved goodbye before I said to Marissa, "Alone at last."

Marissa frowned.

"Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't mean it as an insult to Katherine. I just haven't spoken to you in a while." Marissa and Katherine were also less than two years apart in age, but you'd think they were twins from the way Marissa told Katherine everything.

Marissa furrowed her dark brows. "This has nothing to do with Katherine. I'm just afraid your expectations with this dating thing are too high. It's not easy."

"You sound like Claire."

"Maybe Claire knows what she's talking about."

I waved my hand in protest. "I appreciate your concern, but I know what I'm doing." Marissa's cautious attitude toward dating wasn't exactly confidence inspiring. Anxious to change the subject, I said, "How's work? Any samples you can spare?" Marissa worked in the corporate department of a cosmetics company. Along with a 25 percent discount off of the wholesale price of products, they were always passing along free samples.

Marissa's face brightened as she reached into her bag. "Yes. I completely forgot. Here," she said, handing me an assortment of sample-sized perfumes. "I'm not sure if any of them are good, but you can have them all."

I happily threw them into my purse. "Thank you. I'm almost out of my Michael Kors."

Smiling, Marissa said, "What are friends for?"

"We're meeting tomorrow morning at the Greenmarket, right?" I bought all of my produce at the farmer's market in Union Square, but it was only open on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. "I'll be there by eight thirty to beat the crowds."

Marissa smirked. "I'll aim for ten thirty. No fruit is worth getting up early on a Saturday morning."

I stood up. "We'll agree to disagree on that." With a hug goodbye, I said, "Sleep well."

Later that night, I sat at my computer desk and logged onto eHarmony. I wondered if my future husband was among my twenty-three new matches. The first eligible bachelor was Peter. He was five foot five. Since I was five foot six, I clicked "not interested."

The second match was Nate. He was cute with short brown hair, dark skin, and broad shoulders. And at five foot eleven, he was a nice height for me. He was a financial consultant, so he could probably meet my intellectual standards, and since he loved home-cooked meals and I was a master in the kitchen, we were probably a perfect match.

I confirmed my interest and moved on to the next — Brett. Brett posed shirtless with a harem of women in every picture. I clicked "not interested," figuring he didn't need another girlfriend.

I finished reviewing the remaining twenty matches, confirming interest in four of them, and climbed into bed.

I closed my eyes and imagined where Nate would take me on our first date. Hopefully not Smiler's Deli. Later, I dreamed about swim-up bars and sex on the beach with Nate on our honeymoon. The dreams were interrupted only once when I woke up in a panic, remembering I had forgotten to study for the LSAT. I made a mental vow to spend an extra hour the following night and fell back against the pillow, anxious to return to the Caribbean and beach-side massages with my future husband.

I brought a ripe nectarine to my nose, breathed in the sweet fragrance, and placed three in my basket. I wanted to take full advantage while the fruit was still in season. I could use it in a fresh fruit salad or maybe make a relish. I paid for my fruit and glanced at my watch. I was meeting Marissa at the Deep Mountain Maple vendor in five minutes, we'd walk around for a few more minutes, and then head to Max Brennar for coffee and breakfast. It was Marissa's favorite spot for hot chocolate and how I bribed her to meet me on Saturday mornings when she'd rather curl on the couch and catch up on her DVR.

I spotted her fawning over a jar of syrup and poked her lightly in the back. "Hey, you."

Without turning around, Marissa said, "If I buy the syrup, will you make the French toast?"

"It's a deal. I even saved an article from BuzzFeed with recipes using maple syrup. There was one with sausage I'm dying to try." My mouth watered just thinking about how a hint of sweet could enhance a savory dish like sausage.

"God bless you for being you and loving me," Marissa said.

Thirty minutes later, with my grocery bags tucked safely underneath my chair, Marissa and I sat comfortably in a booth at Max Brennar. "How was the rest of your night?" I asked.

"I fell asleep watching Breaking Bad and have to watch the episode again. I hate when that happens." She pouted. "How about you?"

I told her about Nate. "I can't wait for you to meet him."

(Continues…)


Excerpted from "A State Of Jane"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Meredith Schorr.
Excerpted by permission of Henery Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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A State of Jane 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
eBook_Addict More than 1 year ago
The book begins with Jane, the main character, talking to her sister on the phone about wanting to get back to dating. It's been a year since she broke up with her boyfriend, Bob, and she feels as if she's ready to move on. Later on in the novel, Jane experiences horrible dates, she begins to alienate her family and friends, and she begins dating like a man, "date em and leave em". At times, Jane could come off as a little selfish, but it made me like her even more. She seemed so realistic, and I really enjoyed going through her journey with her. Overall, this was a great book, I was kind of hoping for a different ending for Jane, but I understand why she had the ending that she did, which makes me admire Jane even more and love the book also.
JerseyGirlBookReviews More than 1 year ago
A year to the date after she broke up with her long-time boyfriend Bob, twenty-six year old Jane Frank is ready to start dating again. Jane is on a mission, she wants to be settled in a committed relationship by the time she starts law school the following year, because she'll be too busy studying to meet anyone. From online dating to the local New York bars and everything in between, Jane finds out that finding Mr. Right isn't exactly as easy as she had thought it would be. So if you can't beat em, join em ... Jane decides to date like a man ... love em and leave em! But this way of finding the right guy isn't working out either ... so come along for the ride as Jane weaves her way through the variety of New York's eligible bachelors in search of Mr. Right. Every now then I crave a story that will tickle my funny bone from cover to cover, and in A State of Jane, author Meredith Schorr has created a fun, laugh-out-loud, hilarious story that left me completely satisfied. Written in the first person narrative, Jane Frank takes the reader along for the ride on her journey into the crazy dating scene and the trial and tribulations that she encounters in her search for Mr. Right. Author Meredith Schorr weaves a realistic tale of the frustrations of being single and looking for love. Jane is a hot mess but she is real with flaws and ideals, and the variety of guys she dates will leave you laughing and shaking your head in amusement. We can all relate to what it is like to be in the dating scene, and the variety of people we meet and have to weed out in order to find that special someone. Jane's adventure is thoroughly entertaining, as I followed along on her search there were times where I was cheering her on, but there were also times when I simply wanted to smack her upside the head and say "what were you thinking?"! Throughout her search, Jane lives and learns until she finally comes full circle and listens to her heart. With a quirky cast of characters; witty dialogue and interactions; richly detailed description of the sights and sounds of NY and Hoboken, NJ; and a storyline that is written in a humorous and sassy style, A State of Jane is a witty true-to-life story that will not disappoint you, it is Chick Lit at it's very best!
MarissaA More than 1 year ago
A State Of Jane was a very good Chick Lit Novel; I enjoyed it! The main character, Jane of course, and whose POV we read from, to me, seemed like a relatable character, and I liked that. The Author wrote some great character development, including other characters in the story. Jane just seemed believable and goes through situations that some of has may have gone through. Jane just has so much on her plate, from not studying for her upcoming LSATs, to being miserable as a single woman, and when seeing guys casually doesn't work, what is she to do? Well, I believe Jane's journey of self-realization was so unpredictable, and I liked that; turning the page without a clue of what's going to happen next, for me, I liked not knowing what's going to happen, and you might see that same type of attitude in the story, just saying :) All in all, this was a well written story with enough conflict, some happy moments, kisses and... more, a lot of alcohol and just more to keep you turning that page! My Rating: 4.4/5I say a Strong PG-13 Rating (Some Mature Language & Mild Sexual Content) 
Chrissy_W More than 1 year ago
Did I enjoy this book: I did enjoy this book. It was a fairly quick chick lit read that I read every free chance I had. I finished this book in just over a day. The main character, Jane, reminded me of most twenty-something women who are still single. They want to find "the one" and will look at every date as the potential "one". We have all done that, we have all waited for "the one" to appear. That made her very relatable for this reader...and probably for most readers. Sometimes, I found Jane to be naive, childish, and rather self-absorbed but I also found her to be funny and just trying to find her path. There were times where she just rubbed me the wrong way and I wanted to yell at her to stop being so UGH! Then, there were times where I was rooting for her and wanting her to get things right. Her career path was another obstacle she had to overcome to help her find peace and happiness for herself. The remaining cast of characters were all great and really added to the overall story. The reader can relate to these characters as well as with Jane. Lainie was a great roommate and new friend for Jane. She was the "pot" to Jane's "kettle" in some ways. Marissa, the long time BFF, was like most best friends...even when she gets left behind, she is there for her friend when it matters the most. Their friendship is one that survives even the rockiest of patches. Andrew, Jane's officemate, was funny. Jane and Andrew were funny together and good friends. He gave her some good, and some not-so-good, advice. All-in-all, a good story with a good ending. Would I recommend it: I would recommend this book. It was a good chick lit read. Will I read it again: Probably not. But Ms. Schorr is on my "must read author" list!
iiiireader More than 1 year ago
Reading this book was both an enjoyment of the writing style and a real desire to talk some sense into the main character. It was almost painful to read as Jane (the main character of the story) careened from bad decision to bad decision with reflecting on the reality of her life goals. Jane has decided that it is time to begin dating again after having broken up (one year ago to the day) with her long-term relationship with her high-school sweetheart. Having been involved with Bob for nine years (since she was 16), now at 26, Jane isn't too sure of how she will find “the one” that she feels will be out there waiting for her beck and call. Her focus is narrowed onto this and all other individuals and goals in her life are set aside as she is sure she will end up with her partner within months if not weeks. Jane goes through a wide variety of dating disasters and manages to alienate many others at the same time. It takes a big event to give Jane pause and to look at her life in a new way. The book is well-written and was a fast read. Apart from wanting to have a serious life choices discussion with Jane at the end of every chapter, I enjoyed reading the book and will certainly look for others by Meredith Schorr in the future. I was provided a digital advance reader copy of this book by the publisher via Netgalley.
Deb-Krenzer More than 1 year ago
I thought this was a pretty fun book. I didn't get any laugh out loud moments, but I did get a few chuckles. This poor girl was without any clue about the dating world having been in a relationship for 9 years with a guy since before college. And the advice she was getting, totally out of left field. Not only that, but she wasn't even hearing it right. Definitely an entertaining, enjoyable read. Which I am terribly glad of since I have another book by this author on my TBR pile (wiping sweat off brow!). So far, I'm thinking I have another new author to add to my list! Thanks to Henery Press for approving my request and to Net Galley for providing me with a free e-galley in exchange for an honest review.
1morepage More than 1 year ago
Continuing my love for Meredith Schorr, I started on A State of Jane immediately after finishing Blogger Girl. I'd heard many grumblings, and heard about some not-so-nice reviews and I had to read this book - because I loved Blogger Girl and because I just had to see what all the fuss was about. I was not disappointed and I have to say that A State of Jane is one of my favorite books! I love that Jane is so much fun. That she is willing - no matter how many times she was trampled on - to get up, brush herself off and try again. That she had so much to learn and you could see her growth throughout the book, in very tangible ways. When Jane decided to take back her life, to study for the LSAT, to relax on the dating scene and to heal the rifts in her relationships with her family and friends, I was thrilled. I knew then that nothing would stop Jane and that she could and would achieve whatever she set her mind to.  The characters were very well done and so well developed that I knew what they were going to say and do before they did it. I love that. I love reading a book and getting to know the characters so well that it's like you have a new set of friends. And they were so realistic! Their actions, emotions, thoughts - you knew that it could happen that way. That old friends could have enough and walk away. That new friends could give you advice, but disagree with how you put their advice into practice. That family can be disappointed in your choices, but still love you. The ending? Well, you have to read it for yourself. But I will say that it was unequivocally the best ending I've read in a long time! Ms. Schorr did a fabulous job staying true to the character and knowing exactly what Jane needed. Well done, so very well done!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very enjoyable book, a perfect beach read. I think most women will find that they can really relate to this book. Can't wait to read Meredith's next book!
Chesca1 More than 1 year ago
I feel like I know Jane Frank! I also feel I could have been her once in my life! She's a likable character who, after a year long hiatus from dating, decides to get back in the game. I think we can all relate to trying too hard for a guy who isn't worth it and we see the mistakes Jane is about to make before she makes them. We cringe and hope for the best! A State of Jane is a great chick lit read and I look forward to Meredith Schorr's 3rd book!
cjp0 More than 1 year ago
If you want to spend your time reading about how bad Jane's dating life is spend your money. I deleted this book half way through.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved loved loved this book! Could not put it down - chick lit at its finest!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hard to follow. Way too many details that were not needed
Nikki825 More than 1 year ago
Right off the bat, this book started out good.  I liked Jane, the main character and her quirkiness.  After a one year hiatus from dating, she decided to have a go at it again. Unfortunately, she immediately finds all the available men in New York City to be far too eager for one thing.  And it was not the one thing Jane was seeking...love.  She traverses a series of bad dates and a few one night stands, but never actually accomplishes finding a long term boyfriend. As the book goes on Jane begins to lose her upbeat, quirky personality and becomes bitter and cynical in regards to dating and men in general. I really wanted to love this book, but it fell short for me.  The multiple men Jane dated throughout the book were hard to keep track of and were continually referred to in different parts of the story.  I also felt that Jane's bitter and cynical turn made her far less endearing as a main character. In saying that, I enjoyed the dialogue between Jane and her colleague, Andrew.  It was funny and at points I laughed out loud. I would consider this a good book and if you're looking for a funny, chick lit book then give this a try.  I'd read another book by Meredith Schorr.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
long and predicrable. Has potential but not quite there.