Act from Choice: Simple tools for managing your emotions, your habits and yourself, to be how you mean to be

Act from Choice: Simple tools for managing your emotions, your habits and yourself, to be how you mean to be

by Robert Goldmann

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Overview

Train your brain to help you manage your emotions, your habits, and yourself

Everyone says and does things they later regret. We do those things repeatedly, unable to restrain ourselves as often and as much as we want. They’re habits. Act from Choice will help readers manage those unwanted habits so they can be the way they mean to be.

Habits are unwanted when they violate our sense of ourselves and our values. They can include things like inappropriate angry outbursts, procrastination, breaking the diet or abandoning the exercise program. When unwanted habits have their way, our actions (or inaction) may leave us disappointed with ourselves, embarrassed and even out of integrity.

Management of unwanted, regrettable habits is central to self-management, to emotional intelligence, to strong personal and professional relationships and even to self-esteem. In Act from Choice: Simple Tools for managing your habits, your emotions and yourself, to be how you mean to be, the author shares his first-hand view on how habitual patterns can stand in the way of achieving happiness, effectiveness and fulfillment.

Act from Choice is the result of Robert Goldmann’s research of the scientific literature and experience helping people see themselves and their situations more clearly in order to manage themselves more effectively. Seeing more clearly means seeing with a clarity that cuts through the biases and filters we're all subject to.

Drawing on his review of the research involving over 450 scientific articles and books on habitual behavior, Goldmann describes: what people do; why people do it; gives proof with examples; and describes how to manage unwanted habits. Case histories, along with novel, simple tools – many not previously available, show how to train the subconscious to wake a person up and bring them to self-awareness when unwanted urges are just beginning to form. That self-aware mind-space provides the perspective and openness necessary for resisting the impulse and making good choices, rather than mindlessly allowing impulses turn into action. That same mindful state is the foundation of emotional intelligence.

Written in accessible, conversational language, Act from Choice explains why we have the unwanted habits we do, and why they are so hard to manage. Then it goes beyond mere explanations giving readers the tools needed to manage habits more effectively.

The simple tools presented in Act from Choice will help readers manage their emotions, actions and themselves more successfully. Best of all, readers will find that the tools are easy to master, and begin to be effective right away.

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Goldmann thoroughly examines unwanted habits in this helpful book. … [I]t offers a wealth of effective tools and exercises to remedy them. The overall tone isn’t one of judgment or criticism, which may be helpful to readers who might be defensive or resistant to change. The guide makes its process a personal one in which the reader is fully in charge. A thorough, conversational guide to aligning one’s habits and actions with one’s intentions.

—Kirkus Reviews

Wonderful. A twofer— It is written in a style that any overweight smoker can understand and use, and is a finely crafted though easy to understand text book for professionals. A great gift, especially for people raised on guilt.

—Retired Senior Vice-President, Cablevision Systems Corp

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780998568706
Publisher: Clarity Publications, LLC
Publication date: 06/15/2017
Pages: 390
Product dimensions: 6.69(w) x 9.61(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Robert Goldmann is a business and life coach. He coaches and mentors executives, business owners, professionals and others seeking to design and reach fulfilling business and personal goals. He is a meditation instructor, and a former CEO of manufacturing and financial service companies and facilitator of groups dealing with life-threatening illness and bereavement.

Though he has extensive experience in business, when talking about this book, he points to his years as a mindfulness practitioner and meditation instructor, as a business and life coach and mentor, and as a facilitator of support groups. Those experiences informed and motivated his self-study of psychology and neurobiology that produced the perspectives and techniques he presents in Act from Choice.

His coaching practice, now in its 15th year, has given him a firsthand view of how habitual patterns stand in the way of achieving effectiveness, happiness, and fulfillment. And it's been a proving ground for many of the techniques in the book.

As to training, he has a degree in mechanical engineering from MIT, and a MBA from Harvard Business School. He has formal training as a coach, having graduated from CoachU. In addition, he has attended numerous retreats and workshops led by teachers such as Pema Chödrön, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Stephen and Ondrea Levine, Reggie Ray, Sakyong Mipham, Alan Wallace, and his principal teacher, Tsoknyi, Rinpoche.

Before undertaking a career in coaching, mentoring, and consulting, he was CEO of three technology and financial services companies, the largest of which had over $100 million in sales and 1,100 employees. Prior to becoming a CEO he held senior management positions in large public companies where he was responsible for corporate strategy, acquisitions, and marketing.

He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, with his partner, Victoria Self, close to his two daughters, their husbands and two grandchildren. He speaks on personal and professional growth, life balance, corporate strategy, and Buddhist topics and has led seminars and retreats on these and other subjects. He coaches clients in the U.S. and elsewhere, mostly by phone.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

PART I: UNWANTED HABITS: WHAT WE DO AND WHY WE KEEP DOING IT

1 Habits Make Us Do It

2 You Are What You Choose, Not Your Habits

3 Habitual Impulses

4 Sometimes You Manage Your Impulses

5 The Anatomy of Self-Management

6 Mind, Brain and Behavior

7 Brain Knows and Decides Before We Do

8 How Mind and Brain Interact

9 Emotions Make It Possible to Decide

10 How Brains Construct Reactions and Emotions

11 Why You React the Way You Do

12 Putting It All Together

PART II: HOW TO ACT FROM CHOICE

13 Introduction to the Act from Choice Method

14 T Is for the Truth of What Happens

15 O Is for Objective

16 M Is for Motivation

17 Decide Whether to Commit

18 C Is for Committment

19 A Is for Awareness

20 P Is for Plan

21 Simple Plans for Cold Habits

22 Complex Plans for Hot Habits

23 How to Cultivate Your Values by Managing Unwanted Attitudes

Afterword: Be How You Mean to Be

THE ACT FROM CHOICE RESOURCE COMPANION

Introduction

Highlights of the Act from Choice Method

About Certain Emotions

Slogans, Mantras and Aphorisms

Developing Greater Awareness

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

NOTES

BIBLIOGRAPHY

INDEX

THE AUTHOR

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