Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery

Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery

by Joe Soll
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Overview

Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery by Joe Soll

In this unique book, the reader is provided with a description of the unfolding of the adoptee's personality from birth, detailing each developmental milestone along the way, followed by different methods of healing the adoptee's wounds, including inner child work, visualizations, healing affirmations, and anger management. Every chapter includes a Myths and Realities of adoption section, a summary of the chapter and exercises to do on one's own.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780967839004
Publisher: Adoption Crossroads
Publication date: 03/20/2000
Pages: 216
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.50(d)

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Adoption Healing... a path to recovery 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am an adoptee in reunion. This book is essential reading for adoptees and those who love us as well as other triad members. I had no idea I had all these unresolved problems that were due to adoption. This book helps you heal and finally live.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Joe Soll has captured the true essense of the inner workings of an adoptee and I say this from personal experience. On my journey in search of self, I have read many books on adoption, but until now, I couldn't find a book which did more than describe the experience of the adoptee. Joe Soll not only provided me with a great deal of insight into how my adoption experience shaped and defined the person I am, he provided me with the tools I needed to heal the hurt deep within my soul. His insightful and sensitively written work provides the reader with a very positive and helpful interactive experience. His method of exploration with the reader is experiential in nature, therapeutic in effect and his beliefs are based upon his vast experience working with adoptees as well as his own personal life experiences. Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery is clearly a must read for all members of the adoption triad. I recommend this book highly!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am a birthmother who read this book expecting to find more about the adoptee's experience...from an adoptees point of view. Instead, Joe speaks to the pain that most all of us experienced including birthmothers, in the closed Adoption system. Letting go of old myths, shame, embarrassment and denial about what was like a crazy experiment gone awry, is not easy. He has given us exercises ,wisdom and rituals that help us face our deepest sadness and take back our power. I knew while reading this book that this author gets it. He understands and validates the unique pain that a birthparent, especially birthmothers feel. This is one book that every collection of adoption books should include.. no matter how one is involved in the adoption experience.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Joe Soll's book, Adoption Healing...a path to recovery, allowed me for the first time, to realize that as an adoptive parent, I too need healing. My pain, anger and all the myriad emotions that I felt through the years are just as real as those of my adopted daughter. Adoption Healing is written with such tenderness, simplicity and positiveness that it makes for easy understanding and gives us the step by step keys to the healing process. Mr. Soll includes exercises to help us through the pain which is another plus. In fact, this book helped me understand my daughter's pain and anger which I never understood before. What a revelation that was and this is part of what the healing process entails. I recommend this book for all those who are adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents. For me it was an answer to years of prayer and for the first time I see a light at the end of my tunnel. Yes, the healing has begun. A big thank you to Joe Soll for writing this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book deals with truth -- not the way people would prefer to hear it, but the truth. There is loss for all concerned. My pain of loss of 'mommy' felt validated by its words. I'm sure the feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety and loss that so many adoptees and birth parents feel will be validated, but the writer doesn't stop there. He gives you exercises to help deal with those feelings. Since so many people are affected by adoption I would like to see this become required reading in schools, certainly by teachers at all levels, and prospective adoptive parents. I strongly suggest that everyone read it. It will help you to understand yourself, your sister or brother, your child, your partner or spouse and your friend.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The author has brought the myths of adoption into the light. Exposing them so we have a better understanding of adoption and why there is a need for healing. He has given the memebers of the triad understanding on all sides. The exercises are easy to understand and do work. The book is a path to recovery and to living again. Thank you from a Birthmother.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book that has a lot in it that can help adoptees and others who want to understand the adoptee and his/her feelings. Mr. Soll is probably the best out there who has really tried to help adoptees, natural mothers, etc. with understanding all the feelings happening to them related to adoption. I would also recommend Joe Soll's other books in addition to this one. If you contact him, he has a website and a chat room to answer questions. Almost like an online therapist. The area of adoptions (particularly closed) is a topic that needs much more studying and guidance for those affected.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The information is presented clearly. Each chapter ends with a summary and an exercise that help the reader synthesize the material which promotes deeper, more personal thinking.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
The author has brought the myths of adoption into the light. Exposing them so we have a better understanding of adoption and why there is a need for healing. He has given the memebers of the triad understanding on all sides. The exercises are easy to understand and do work. The book is a path to recovery and to living again. Thank you
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book will speak to many adoptees who feel a deep wound inside them over the loss of their birthparents. I cannot imagine any adoptee who does not, to some degree or other, suffer and need healing. Soll¿s book will help even the most repressed adoptee face his or her inner self and let it all out. I too never believed that in adoption everyone wins. The birthmother and child suffer an enormous loss which can never really be recovered. I am personally wrestling with the ¿primal wound¿ of adoption when I think of our daughter, now age 34. We adopted her at four days of age and she¿s been a happy-go-lucky girl all her life. We have now met her wonderful birthmother and are one big and happy family, and our daughter still maintains she has never suffered an identity crisis or consistently pined for her birthparents. I will give her Joe Soll¿s book to read. When the sun comes out, we can tackle anything. Soll¿s book is like the sun shining on the subject of adoption. Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am an adoptee in reunion. This book is essential reading for adoptees and those who love us as well as other triad members. I had no idea I had all these unresolved problems that were due to adoption. This book helps you heal and finally live.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is recommended reading. It will help you work through all your issues, many which you did not know you had and did not know were related to adoption. He is a terrific therapist.
Guest More than 1 year ago
'Adoption Healing' by Joe Soll, book review by Sheila Ganz - Little did I know when I started to read Joe Soll's book 'Adoption Healing' that the gunk of pain and anger lying on my heart from my daughter's rejection of me was about to lift off and evaporate. It was probably a combination of where I am in my healing as a birthmother, the accumulation of all of the adoption related books I've read, and Joe's clear and concise writing style with insight into the inner life of the young adoptee. As an adoptee, therapist and activist Joe has lots of material to draw on for his guidance on healing for adoptees. 'Adoption Healing' focuses on a critical turning point in an adoptee¿s development, ages six to eight, when the child becomes cognitive and is able to start thinking logically and comes to understand what adoption means. At this point, the child may 'blame herself for being given up for adoption and if there is no intervention, a fracturing of the personally will ensue. Before the fracture the child will be able to talk openly about her rage, pain, sadness and fear as these feelings are accessible at this age. After the fracture point, these feelings will be experienced as occurring at the same time. This will cause the feelings to become interwoven with each other, as if intertwined in an entangled ball.' What happens next for the adoptee depends on the attitude of the adults in the youngster's life. Ideally the adoptive parents will allow the adoptee to express her feelings. When the adoptive family atmosphere supports the adoptee's need to sort out these feelings, she will be able to integrate her emotions into her day-to-day reality. If the adoptee senses that it is not OK, her turmoil becomes suppressed into a knot of painful conflicting feelings where anger and unfulfilled curiosity is wrapped in the knowledge of not being loved by her original mother. For some adoptees reading about these issues will make them feel uncomfortable. They may not have dealt with or consciously thought about these issues before. Each chapter includes a summary, an exercise to help work through these long-held feelings and a guide to 'experience the moment.' 'Adoption Healing' also offers 'myths' and 'realities' for different situations in the adoptee's experience. Such as: Myths: - Adopted adolescents are no different than their non-adopted peers. - If the adoptee has problems, it is either non-adoption related or genetic. - An adopted person, if they must have a reunion, should wait until they are an adult. Facts: - Adopted adolescents have their own special set of needs that must be respected. - Adolescence is the time of identity solidification and for the adoptee is often very painful and confusing. - A reunion should preferably take place before puberty. 'Adoption Healing' also speaks to adoptive parents about healthy adoptions and to birthparents in both closed and open adoptions. The young adoptee will experience this formative stage in both situations. The Appendix includes sections for What Adoptees, Birthparents and Adoptive Parents Do Not Wish To Hear, Loss in the Adoption Hand-off by Darlene Gerow, From the News and Resources. The Epilogue gives a brief summary of Joe's journey from denial and resistance to even saying the word adopted, to feeling his feelings and healing, and his as yet unsuccessful search for his birth family. As a birthmother this book gave me insight into the adoptee experience I could only guess at. About halfway through the book I started to get an image of what my daughter must have gone through at that age. My hurt at her refusal to have contact with me gradually transformed into an understanding that it never really had anything to do with me personally. These are issues she needs to deal with and as her original mother it is compassion and love that she needs from me, when she is ready. Thank you, Joe, for freeing me from this pain. And
Guest More than 1 year ago
The message is loud and clear and should be heard by all---the only way out of the pain is through the pain. This book should be required reading for all therapists who deal with those touched by adoption. Kasey Hamner, M.S., author of 'Whose Child?'
Guest More than 1 year ago
I am thrilled someone has finally written a book that directly deals with self-help treatment for the adopted person. Adoption Healing explains the psychological processes an adopted person goes through in their life, and the effect on him or her. It then gives simple exercises to help overcome the trauma of adoption. Even in a loving supportive adoptive family, the adoptee has suffered from the trauma of separation from his or her birthmother and family of origin. An adoption search and reunion is only part of the process necessary for those who were separated from their birthfamily to heal. This book helps in completing the healing process. Unfortunately, those affected by an adoption need to work on their issues through self-help support groups and books as there are very few mental health professionals who understand the affect of the adoption experience on the adopted person and birthmother. This book helps fill that gap. Adoption Healing is not just for adoptees. Birthparents and adoptive parents can learn a great deal about what their child has endured through adoption, and ways in which they can help their child, whether a youngster or adult. Therapists can develop a treatment protocol for their adopted clients. I have been waiting for a book like this since I started working with adoptees and birthmothers 14 years ago as a post-adoption emotional support group leader. It will help me help others. Additionally, it helped me deal with my own trauma of being adopted at birth in 1950. Even though, my reunion is years past (and a 'good' one), I read this book quickly, then went back and worked my way through the book doing the exercises. The quick read started an effect my emotions, and I continue to work on my overall emotional well-being regularly doing the exercises in the book. So many years have gone by that it takes a concentrated effort to keep moving my emotions in a positive direction.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was hoping to find this book to be more for the adopted. I am searching for a Adoption Healing book wrote from a adoptee's point of view! Although this book did not give me what I was looking for I think it is a good book for those adopting a child. I can not express enough the importance of telling your new addition to your family that they are choosen and special.