Advice Worth Ignoring: How Tuning Out the Experts Can Make You a Better Parent

Advice Worth Ignoring: How Tuning Out the Experts Can Make You a Better Parent

by Ray Guarendi


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In Advice Worth Ignoring, Dr. Ray identifies fifty of the most common child-related truisms and parenting myths that can often mislead and undercut parents, and explains how the virtues of prudence, temperance and fortitude can help any parent discern the best course of action for his or her own family. Parents are encouraged to ask themselves: Does this have merit for our family, with our morals? Does it make sense? Does it align with wisdom confirmed through generations?

Covering a range of ages and stages, from the early years (“It’s a stage; it will pass”) to the teenage years (“Don’t make your child lie”), this book gives dedicated parents the tools they need to spot the hidden assumptions colored by pop psychology, and make parenting choices that are consistent with raising up good Catholic kids.

Parents who read Advice Worth Ignoring will feel empowered to judge the advice that’s right for their own family, regardless of who doles it out. Contains a special section specifically for adoptive parents.

The audio edition of this book can be downloaded via Audible.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781632531322
Publisher: Franciscan Media
Publication date: 08/12/2016
Pages: 160
Sales rank: 533,953
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Dr. Ray Guarendi is a clinical psychologist, prolific author and speaker, and nationally syndicated radio host. His radio show, The Doctor Is In, can be heard weekdays on EWTN, Ave Maria Radio, and Sirius XM. His many books include Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime, You’re a Better Parent Than You Think, and Winning the Discipline Debates. He and his wife are the parents of ten children.

Table of Contents

Introduction-My Advice about Advice vii

Section 1 Early Misdirection 1

Idea #1 Personality Is Formed Early 3

Idea #2 Children Are Naturally Cooperative 5

Idea #3 Never Let Them "Cry It Out" 8

Idea #4 It's the Terrible Twos 10

Idea #5 It's a Stage; It Will Pass 12

Section 2 Moral Questions 15

Idea #6 Live the Example and Children Will Follow 17

Idea #7 Let Children Decide Their Morals 19

Idea #8 Put Your Standards Too High and Your Kids Will Rebel 22

Idea #9 It's Normal 25

Idea #10 Avoid Value-Laden Words-They're Bad 27

Idea #11 Don't Have Too Many Children 29

Section 3 Discipline Don'ts 33

Idea #12 Don't Tell a Toddler No 35

Idea #13 Don't Delay Discipline 37

Idea #14 Don't Make Your Child Fear You 39

Idea #15 Don't Discipline When You're Angry 41

Idea #16 Don't Do "Double Jeopardy" 43

Idea #17 Don't Give Time-Outs 46

Idea #18 Don't Force Manners 49

Idea #19 Don't Use a Child's Bedroom for Discipline 52

Idea #20 Don't Fine a Child 54

Idea #21 Don't Punish with Writing 58

Idea #22 Don't Make the Older Help with the Younger 61

Idea #23 Don't Spank 63

Idea #24 Don't Overprotect 69

Section 4 Smarter Discipline Advice 73

Idea #25 Time-Out-One Minute per Year of Age 75

Idea #26 Create a Bedtime Ritual 77

Idea #27 Reward the Positive, Ignore the Negative 81

Idea #28 Punishment Doesn't Teach 83

Idea #29 Let His Distress Be His Discipline 85

Idea #30 Always Give a Warning First 88

Idea #31 Pick Your Battles 91

Idea #32 Let Siblings Work Out Their Conflicts 93

Idea #33 Overlook a Messy Bedroom 97

Idea #34 Always Give Your Reasons for Rules and Discipline 100

Idea #35 Make the Punishment Fit the Crime 103

Idea #36 Avoid a Power Struggle 105

Section 5 Miscommunication 109

Idea #37 Don't Ask Questions 111

Idea #38 Don't Praise 113

Idea #39 Let Children Express Themselves 115

Idea #40 Set Up a Win-Win 118

Idea #41 Give Choices 121

Idea #42 Respect the Right to Privacy 123

Idea #43 Don't Make Your Child Lie 126

Idea #44 Emphasize Quality 129

Section 6 Advice Not Worth Adopting 133

Idea #45 Don't Adopt to Rescue 135

Idea #46 Don't Adopt if It Changes the Family Birth Order 136

Idea #47 Don't Adopt if Your Other Children Are Against It 138

Idea #48 Talk Regularly to Your Children about Their Adoption 141

Idea #49 Realize the Need to Find Birth Parents 145

Conclusion 149

Idea #50 Don't Try to Be Your Child's Best Friend 149

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