Collecting 33 unique family case studies derived directly from patient experiences, formally conducted interviews, and informal encounters and anecdotes, this resource illustrates several inevitable lessons that reinforce the pressing need for families to engage aging loved ones sooner, not later, about long-term elder care, loss, and end of life planning. Each narrative approaches aging from a unique perspective, exposing real families overcoming their own taboos, dysfunctional relationships, unhealed wounds, and other unforeseen challenges. Unique in its focus, extent, and narrative format, each study is complemented by clear, reassuring, and practical advice.
|Publisher:||Crossroad Publishing Company|
|Product dimensions:||5.30(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.60(d)|
About the Author
Mary Ann Massey, EdD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and is currently a full-time clinician at the Williamsburg Centre for Therapy. She lives in Alexandria, Virginia.
Table of Contents
Prelude: The Stories We All Face 1
1 Family Speak: The Case for Talking with Aging Loved Ones Sooner Rather than Later 5
Unfinished Business I
Unfinished Business II
2 So Many Choices: Honoring Differences and Expanding Options 21
Exploring Options for Your Family
No Longer Waiting for Dad to Die
Keeping a Spouse at Home-"I Can't Do That to My Husband"
The Freedom to Change Your Mind
3 Candid Conversations: Trusting Each Other with the Truth-Even When It Hurts 39
Opening the Door-The First Conversation
"I've Never Stood Up to Mom Before."
Asking for Details: "Mom, What Do You Want to Wear in the Coffin?"
When the Door Slams Shut: "I Won't Talk. Don't Ask Me."
4 Experiences With Professional Care: Parenting a Parent Who Can No Longer Live Independently 57
After the Fall
Dealing with Guilt: "Please Tell Me It's Not My Fault"
When One Aging Parent Cares for Another: "If You Won't Go to the Nursing Home, I Must."
5 Where Will Dad (Or Mom) Live? Knowing Our Caregiving Strengths and Limitations 74
The Challenges of Living under the Same Roof: "Whose House Is This, Anyway?"
Determined to Do It Alone
6 Doing the Right Thing (Whatever That Is): From Prescribed Scripts to the Wisdom of the Heart 88
Too Much Help: "Don't Treat Me Like an Invalid!"
Small Town-Family Support
A Daughter's Long-Time Hone
7 Siblings: Shared Genes, Differing Values 101
When Long-Distance Siblings Are Close and Local Ones Distant
Love in the Face of Dysfunction: "Mom Loved You More."
The Family Meeting: When A Parent Takes Charge
The Twins: A Story of Loyalty
8 Saying Goodbye Openly: Sharing the Sacred Journey 120
A Tale of Two Families
Misguided Loyalty-We Can Never Protect Ourselves From Death
9 Saying Goodbye Privately: Silence on the Sacred Journey 132
"Mommy, May I Climb in Bed with You?"
Will You Pray over Me?
"Daddy, Can You Hear Me? I'm Right Outside."
10 Now and at the Hour of Death: Stories from the Final Days of Life 142
Samantha's Change Of Heart
"A Vision of My Mom as God Intended Her to Be"
Final Recognition: "I know who you are."
11 The Sum of All Stories: Connected Forever 159
12 Embracing Our Own Future: Questions along Our Sacred Journey 166
13 Closing Comment 172
14 Notes 173
15 About the Author 177
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Aging Is a Family Affair is a recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom’s Choice Awards honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS’s Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times best-selling Author and; LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books. Parents and educators look for the Mom’s Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families