The Alphabet Of Manliness

The Alphabet Of Manliness

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Overview

The Alphabet Of Manliness by Maddox, Bryan Douglas, Angelo Vildasol

Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here's a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:

· People getting drop-kicked in the face
· Phallic aggression
· Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
· Garish disregard for the well-being of children
· Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
· Shit jokes
· Intimidating rhetoric
· Obscure penile references
· The triumph of flannel over good taste

This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged son of a bitch out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to buy a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted, or busting balls.

If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780806527208
Publisher: Kensington
Publication date: 06/01/2006
Pages: 192
Product dimensions: 5.80(w) x 8.56(h) x 0.87(d)

About the Author

Maddox has been writing hilarious essays for his site, thebestpageintheuniverse.com since 1996. Through word-of-mouth alone, it has become one of the most popular personal sites on the Internet, with more than 50,000 unique visitors per day.

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Alphabet of Manliness 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 97 reviews.
Marshall McAdams More than 1 year ago
This book cured my cancer. Unfortunately, all the ass I got because of having read this book caused me to contract herpes.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
After reading this book I woke up with an eye patch, five o'clock shadow,and a barrel of whiskey all from having this book's bad-a**ness delivered in one fell swoop! Awesome book!
Samantha201 More than 1 year ago
I am, or rather used to be a huge Maddox fan. I enjoyed his site, recommended it to friends and bought the first edition of his book. I was excited to read the book, I find his honestly crude and mean humor funny. However the book disapointed me, I felt like more of his web posts were much more comical then this book. Since the book Maddox has all but abandoned the site that launched his career. I don't blame him, he's busy with many other projects and writing on a site that I can't imagine he profits a lot from due to lack of advertisers probably isn't huge on his list of priorities. However I feel like him relaunching his book with a different cover and probably a few new pages written half-assed is kind of selling out. This is exactly the kind of thing that he would criticize on his web site and now, money hungry or just an experiment to see how many of his followers will purchase another copy, he has chosen to go the typical money whoring route. I won't be buying this new edition, nor will I proably even bother to read the new updates at the local bookstore while pretending I have intentions to buy it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Title makes it funny to give as a gift, but not really worth reading. Predictable.
Guest More than 1 year ago
As a female reading the book, I find it amazingly funny. Most women are totally offended by his writings, but perhaps they are offended because there's a bit of truth to his perfected form of sarcasm. This book is worth reading for anyone as long as you're not easily offended, and even if you are...maybe you should still take a look..
Guest More than 1 year ago
Ok, i'll admit..there are several lines in the book which came directly from Maddox's site, which I found kind of annoying. However, the one liners were very few and very far between. The overall content is fresh Maddox matierial and man...it really is hilarious. Whats great is that the few stuck up a**holes who are giving it negative reviews are actually just driving people even more to read Maddox's book. They just dont get it. Thanks alot for the bad publicity...youre helping to drive sales through the roof, i'm sure. We live in age of cynicism and Maddox is the sarcasm king. Get this book. And seriously...buy 2. You'll find a friend who youll want to read it as well so you can laugh about the humor in this book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The items listen in my headline combined do not even compare to how great this book us. Finally, a book that highlights how awesome my profession (professional lumberjack) is as well as our uniform flannel. This book is so manly, you're going to have to shave it twice a day in order to read it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Maddox is at his definite best when ranting about/making fun of something, and that's pretty much the only time this book had me laughing. Don't get me wrong, i love his website and the parts that did have me laughing had me on the floor in fits, but the expectations built up from his previous content were sorely missed.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Those fans of Maddox' website entries might be somewhat dissapointed with the new book. While most of it is typical Maddox, it feels very forced. Occaissionally, it is clear that Maddox sacrificed his voice to meet some other requirement (publisher requirement, lack of creativity to meet a deadline, etc.) Though the book is funny, it lacks much of what made Maddox' website 'The best.'
Guest More than 1 year ago
I've been a fan of Maddox's website for years now, much like a vast majority of the people who bought this book. Maddox is an interesting writer in the sense that even though his material is so insanely satirical, there are legitimate haters of his work, who think of him as an uninspired hack. There's really no other way to look at it though... you love what he does or you hate it. Personally, I think he's one of the more skilled writers around. After reading portions of this book, it would be really interesting to see if the man wrote a serious novel. Even though the book is a self-described 'manliness instruction manual,' parts of it have a very novel, almost Charles Bukowski feel to it. And much like a Bukowski novel, it ends rather abruptly, and if you're the type of reader I am, you begin to wonder where the line between autobiography and simple musings exist. This review is dragging on a bit, so I'll get to my only real complaint with the book: it's a little uneven. For A through M, the book is a consistant mix of hilarious and intriguing. Somewhere around 'N is for Norris, Chuck,' the book begins to suffer a little, and at times, you wonder if the material was rushed a little toward the end. All in all, it's a hilarious and interesting insight into the mind of a man who is either extremely evil or one of the most prolific writers of modern times. I'm voting for prolifically evil.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Not really. But seriously, I don't understand how there are 17 reviews already about a book that no one has read yet... I'm sure it will be entertaining, as Maddox's material usually is, but it's nothing to worship. I mean, the guy isn't exactly a lumberjack/pirate himself-- he sits around in front of a computer all day. Think about it.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I've read some of Maddox's writings in the past and they usually make me bust out laughing from sheer shock or bluntness. If you get offended easily I would not recommend this book, but his taste of humor is a nice change.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
1 word: epic!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fuk
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