The greatest deliverance that one can achieve is the deliverance from people.
Deliverance from people means breaking free from the opinions, perceptions, thought patterns, expectations, and all other influences that other people have on us. When this deliverance takes place one is truly free to live his or her life the way in which they see fit. This is how one truly achieves individuality.
With this guide, author Dr. Jennifer Gilbert hopes to transform the way you think about ordinary things, such as titles and the effect that they have on you as an individual. If you want to reclaim your life and your personal identity- to become free from the influence of others-then you must learn how and why making that move is vital to the elevation that we all desire in our lives.
And Deliver Us from People can be your revelation to elevation in your home, workplace, church, and, most of all, mindset.
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... And Deliver Us from People!! ...The Revelation for Elevation
By Jennifer Gilbert
iUniverse, Inc.Copyright © 2012 Dr. Jennifer Gilbert
All right reserved.
What does it mean to be delivered from people?
To be delivered from people means that you won't allow their opinions, perceptions and expectations to affect you. This is the most freeing thing that one can do, seeing as the bulk of the problems that we go through come through these encounters with people. This does not mean that people are bad and it does not even imply that there is something wrong with encountering people. The problem comes in when we care more about what people say and think than we do about ourselves and ultimately what the creator has to say.
See what often happens is that we become weighted down and limited in our personal scope and sequence for ourselves when we have not been delivered from people. We measure what we can do by what people say about and to us in reference to our ability when what really matters is what we believe and what the creator has said to and about us.
In this book I will tell some of my own personal, intimate struggles prior to my deliverance from people. These struggles will fall under the category "jewels from my journey." This was a painful journey for me that I will forever travel because deliverance from people causes me to take an ongoing assessment of myself with every breath I take and every move that I make. I have to continually ask myself questions such as:
Why do I really want to do this?
Is this something that I, myself, really want to do or is it something that people think I should do?
Why is this decision important?
What will be the personal gain for me from doing this action?
These are just a few of the questions that I ask myself to analyze my intentions for the behavior that I am about to partake in. So please read this book and understand that in no way am I saying that I have arrived and have conquered the demon of pleasing people but I am saying that I have recognized, acknowledged, targeted and I am executing action on this issue.
If the truth really be told, I don't think anyone ever perfectly and completely masters this skill because even after death. You can leave all the last wishes that you want, but at the end of the day, your family will make the final arrangements and will do so based on their perception of what they think you would like and that is based on what you think they will like and the cycle continues.
When I was a kid, I was born in Lawton, Oklahoma and all of my family lived in Galveston, Texas which is where my parents and my brother were from. My birth father was in the military and was stationed in Lawton and then when he and my mother divorced, my mother later married another man who was in the military that took us to Europe and we lived there for a while and then we moved to Georgia where he retired and they divorced and my mother later passed. I never really knew my extended family because I was too busy traveling the world and broadening my horizons. I never really liked to come and visit Texas because my brother and I were often ridiculed because we talked different and our life perception was different. I didn't understand the lifestyle of my family because I was never exposed to it and they didn't understand my ways either so though I would have fun most of the time as a kid with my cousins and all, when we came home to visit every few years I never adapted to their ways.
Though my family was, in my opinion, smaller than other family circles that I had seen, when deaths began to occur, including the death of my mother, I decided to move to Texas so that my children could get to know the family that I never knew and to establish some roots. When I got here it was a completely different world for me. Most of my cousins lived at home with their parents even though they were all grown and had kids and some were even married, whereas I had moved out of my mother's house at sixteen when I had my daughter. To my surprise, none of them except one had been to college and really had no plans (that I was aware of) to attend. Most of them had children out of wedlock, as I did, and there just seemed to be no real life expectation from them and I didn't see them to go much further than where they were. Now this doesn't make them bad people, it just shows the difference in the way that we viewed life. I could have come to Texas and lived as they did and it would have been fine and normal but I viewed life as more than that.
I came here in the midst of a bad divorce from the father of my children and I wanted to start a new life. I remember that I had called one of my favorite aunts, Aunt Amelia. I told her of my situation and she encouraged me to come home and be with my family. I was nervous because I hadn't lived with anyone other than my husband and children since I was sixteen. Nevertheless, I came here with the mindset that I was on a mission for me and my babies. I told my aunt to give me six months to find a job and get my own place and she said that was fine but there was no rush. I went back and forth with this decision for several reasons and one of them being money and my aunt kept encouraging me saying, "baby come home, if we got to eat hot dogs daily we will, but we will do it as a family and we will be happy doing it because we are together." She sure had a way of saying things that always made me feel better and her cooking solidified the deal. So I came home and moved in with my aunt and in a week I had both of my kids in school and I had a job at the local grocery store. Now mind you, I had cousins who claimed that they couldn't find work and all sorts of spoken forces against them. In thirty days, I was in my own place again; just me and my children and we were in heaven ... so I thought.
I said all of that to say that everything that we go through is about our mindset and our own personal aspirations. I had no idea the environment that I was going into but I knew about myself and the way I was raised and even more importantly what God had to say about me. I knew that I wanted my children to be proud of me and I wanted to show my cousins that it could be done. The problem is I became so driven to show them how it's done that I began to achieve goals only to show people how it is done.
I was the first to record albums with big named artists, I was the first in my generation to buy my first home, I had two cars, great children, I was remarried to a great man (so I thought), I had enrolled in college, completed two associates, went on and earned two bachelors, then I went on to get my masters and then one doctorates and I'm currently working on my second doctorates. Now there is a change in me from then to this present time but I am about to make a point.
I wrote my first book entitled "Churchin' Ain't Easy" and my debut single, "Can I Just Be Me?" and I had a major launch and at the VIP luncheon, my last living aunt, Aunt Birdell, stood up and declared, "this event was a historical one!" and that changed my life forever. Though she said it in all praises and as a compliment, it was a slap in my face that took me out of the people-pleasing, principle-proving mode and took me into, "Now it is time to live for Jennifer!" mode.
See all of my life, I felt the need to prove my worth to people and to show them something and so in all of my achievements, I never really did it for myself, I did it to prove a point or to show my mother that she was wrong about me when she told me, "You ain't never gonna be shit because you think that your light skin and pretty face is gonna get you what you want!" See many people were disappointed when I had my daughter and they declared my life was over and that I blew the second chance that God gave me after the miscarriage of my first child at the hand of my mother, so I deliberately went and got pregnant again out of anger and to fill that void. Though I love my children dearly, I realize that they are great children/adults because they saw all of the foolishness that mom went through while trying to raise them alone.
The point and purpose of this matter is illustrated below. We allow the way that people see us to be at the center of our being and we judge how we feel about ourselves based on others perception, but the real danger is that we allow the way that people treat us to affect the way that we view God's opinion of us.
Have you ever thought of the reason why some people have a hard to time embracing the love of God? Here is the answer! We have a hard time embracing the unconditional love of God because we have only been exposed to the conditional love of mankind (i.e. man loves me as long as I do what they want me to do, but as soon as I go against the grain, then their love stops or changes and so we feel God is the same way, NOT SO!)
I don't remember who said it but there was a saying that, "you have to teach people how to treat you!" This means that you have to allow God to transform your perception and your being. The diagram below is the correct formula and theory.
These diagrams and theories that I created under the unction of the Holy Ghost answer a lot of life questions. See in diagram one there is a lot going on, there are arrows in both directions and people come in between the relationship with you and God allowing for your belief in him to be prostituted by the opinion of people (religion).
In diagram two all things come from the father, which makes it healthy and there is no barrier between you and the father, this depicts authentic relationship with Christ and as a result you put out more than you take in from people, thus giving you the ability to teach people how to treat you because you are taking nothing from them and their perceptions. Note how the arrow goes out and not in.
Another jewel from my journey
I remember when I went to my year one residency for my current doctoral degree and I sat there in the room with some real heavy hitters who exuberated this energy of self-confidence and security in who they were and what they were worth. I remember my professor looking at us and saying, "You are no longer students, you are now scholars!" I had no idea what this meant because to me I was still just that little girl that wanted to please others and to prove a point. Being only one of three African Americans in the class that was a majority of women, it was an empowering experience for me that I will never forget. It was five stressful days of learning but the life lessons that I learned outweighed everything else.
We have to surround ourselves with people like my professor who force us to change our minds and perceptions of who we really are. When God told Abraham to come out from among them, I believe that he not only spoke to his location (where he was from and the people in his family) but also to his mentality which means, the memories and mindset of the individuals who tried to place you in a box. Even though their box is not even big enough for them, they want to recruit company in their location of inactivity just to make sure that you don't outdo them.
Why do we need to be delivered from people?
The most important and liberating deliverance that one can get is the deliverance from people. When you think back to the aches and pains of life you are sure to find, at the core of the matter, involvement with people. Many of us, young and old suffer with a disease to please and the object of our affection is PEOPLE. Even as Christians, when we come to Christ, we come to him, but we look to the people for guidance which is the first of many mistakes on your path to have a relationship with God. Why is this a mistake? I'm glad you asked. When you come to Christ, you come to a clean slate and in the innocence of your lack of experience, some call it ignorance, you look to the people of God to lead you. They know this to be true so that is when the wild goose chase begins. What is the wild goose chase? The chase to please God with the subliminal message to please the people because they are the earthly representation of what you think Christ is looking for, especially if these people are presented to you with a title such as, Pastor, Prophet, Missionary and the like. What we fail to realize is that beyond the title these individuals are people first. The misconception that often occurs is that these people are the title first because it comes before their name and not afterwards. This is misleading because people have a tendency of letting the title speak for and to them versus being transparent enough to let people see their humanity first and then the development that it took to get them to the title.
See this is how the misconception takes place. When you look at the name of a person with a title, you see their title such as "Dr." and then their name "Jennifer Gilbert", and then their credentials or education "Ph.D. ..." This is the world's system but when it comes to Christiandom, it would behoove us to allow the people to see our humanity first, then our development that lead to our credentials.
Not only does it help others to see who you really are, but it relieves the stress and pressure of feeling the need to live up to your title versus being true to yourself first and foremost and then allowing others to see the humanness of your being and then the development to your title.
Jewels from my journey
I remember hearing a sermon one time that talked about the dash in between the day you were born and the day that you died on the tombstones in the cemetery. Though the dashes are all the same length, the lifespans were different as were the life experiences. It's what you do in the dash that makes you who you were known to be at the time of death. I would venture to use this same theory and concept in this point. Jennifer Gilbert, Ph.D., Maedt, BA- in this revelation, first there was Jennifer and after the comma, which is the development and training both in school and in life that took me to the titles and credentials that I EARNED!. (L+Earn= Learn, life lessons earn you experience). So it should be in the world of Christiandom and life: Jennifer Gilbert, prophet, teacher, minister etc. or even better: Jennifer Gilbert, mother, daughter, sister etc. I'm sure you get my drift. See we have a tendency to become the title and we forget our own identity.
Deliverance from people comes full circle in its methodology
When you are true to who you are, there is a sense of transparency before the people that makes them more receptive to the messages that you send both explicitly and implied. Now I do have to give you a word of caution, that in the transparent phase you have to develop tough skin and become very tenacious in your cause and realize that it is all about the testimony that you have to share to make others want to join the cycle and begin to share their own truth with others as well.
Deliverance from people has everything to do with witnessing and not worrying. Many leaders don't want to show their human side because they feel that it is a sign of weakness and in reality nothing can be further from the truth, even the word of God says that in our weakness he shows himself strong. I remember the famous words of T.D. Jakes to his daughter when she wanted to stop attending service because of having a baby out of wedlock and she felt that she was being judged and he said to her, "when people are looking at you, it's not that they are judging you, but perhaps they are looking and wondering how their life would be different if they only had the courage to do what you are doing."
Excerpted from ... And Deliver Us from People!! ... by Jennifer Gilbert Copyright © 2012 by Dr. Jennifer Gilbert. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
About the Author....................xi
What does it mean to be delivered from people?....................1
Why do we need to be delivered from people?....................9
Who is it that I should seek deliverance from?....................15
When do I need to be delivered from people?....................25
Where do I begin my journey with my deliverance from people?....................29
How do I get delivered?....................35
How do I stay delivered?....................39
You Can Do This!....................43
Jewels of the Journey of this Book....................45